>> I'M NOT LYING TO MYSELF! >> What do you want me to say? >> That it hurts like hell which >> is why I've been training as much as possible? >> That I'm doing everything I can to not >> get sucked into the 'what did I do wrong' thought cycle >> which we both know I've done in the past with people? >> You guys don't need to be dealing with me like that so >> I've been keeping busy. Trying to deal with this and get through it. >> It's getting easier every day but it's still not great okay? >> That what you wanted to hear?