Rita is a nosy fucker. (acidink) wrote in valarcomm, @ 2018-02-20 16:27:00 |
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Entry tags: | rita skeeter |
Happy Valentine's Day, my sweet sweets! Such a wonderful time of year, with lovers young and old coming together to celebrate the wonders of the heart!
Do I ever have a bonanza for you, dear readers!
First, we return to the floating debauchery with the lovely Isabela and her latest conquest, the rebellious Miranda Lawson, daughter of businessman Henry Lawson. Miranda is, if you would believe it, employed as a stripper! Oh how the mighty have fallen. Tsk tsk, Isabela, you can do better!
Alice Liddell's babybump is coming along nicely. Having reviewed my evidence, it's become clear that Professor Branwen has not actually knocked up his star pupil. No, the father is someone else.
But that's not today's delectable news! Ms. Liddell has become involved in a torrid love affair with one Logan Howlett, enterprenuer and owner of the Jean Grey Outreach Center, and aspiring actress Minako Aino! They've been seen in close company quite frequently of late, and we have exclusive pictures.
Most of the exclusive pictures are blurry or poorly done edits, though one with Logan and Minako is almost convincing.
Their little menage a trois is proving to be quite kinky!
But that's not all! To make matters worse, Mr. Howlett has secretly married stage actress Marguerite St. Just! And Ms. St.Just is pregnant!
Picture of Marguerite with a red circle around her 100% flat stomach and scribbled words 'BABY BUMP!'
Does she know of her husband's secret affairs? Or is she a part of this in some rectangle of sin?
Next we move onto heiress Weiss Schnee, who has been trolloping around with Asami Sato's ex-girlfriend, Ruby Rose. Allow me to show you their compromising position!
Picture of Weiss on top of Ruby. It clearly looks like an accident, but has the caption 'Naughty naughty!'
As if that isn't enough, I have exclusive news my dear readers! Weiss Schnee is engaged to a former soldier named Finn! Happy Nuptials!
So many babies, so little time!
Olympian Pyrrha Nikos has been in a hot little affair with a local idiot named Jaune Arc. I'm not sure what she sees in him, but he's certainly had his hands full knocking her up!
Pop sensation Elizabeth Comstock is also preggers! Like Ms. Liddell, the father is a mystery, but not for long!
And finally, Anna Arendelle, breakout movie star has also gotten pregnant! It must have been a very special Christmas! Perhaps that explains why her latest casting deal fell through. Is our rising star destined to fall? A one hit wonder? I'll have more information next time!