We also say things like "It's a need to know situation and you don't need to know", and my personal favorite, "If I told you I'd have to kill you".
No, seriously. We really do.
Also, I'm agree that you don't want to be a member of that club, but I could offer you an honorary membership to the Dangerous Sports Club? Alas, you'd probably have to be airsick a lot, but it's yours if you want it.
I was going to put a steak on the black eye, but I think we've all decided to eat it. We have proper ice packs anyway, so that's just a waste of a good steak.
I'm starving. This has nothing to do with the conversation we're having, but I'd offer you apple slices and a sandwich through the internet if I could.
Aside from the above, life has been ... We're going to use the word "Interesting".