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James Potter ; Who is the best? C'est moi (noonescabbage) wrote in utr_logs,
@ 2008-04-29 23:27:00

Entry tags:

harry potter, james potter

who. Harry and James Potter
what. Talking. Making up? Fighting? I don't know!
where. London

James had gotten a message from Harry telling him that they needed to talk. His first instinct told him to ignore the boy, that he wasn't really worth James' time. James Potter was stupidly proud. Had it been anyone else but Harry - his boy - he wouldn't have let the little voice in the back of his head gnaw away at him.

After a few minutes of back and forth via text message, James left the flat for a park. It was a safe, quiet spot. The sort of spot where the two of them could get away with spell casting. They could hex one another without fear of hurting passersby or destroying property. If it came to that. James hoped it wouldn't, but wasn't really sure what to expect.

Wrapping his arms around himself, James paced up and down a dark path and waited for Harry.

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future_auror
2008-04-30 04:08 am UTC (link)

Harry hadn't been quite sure what to expect when he texted his father. What if James said no? What if... he tried to quell the what if's in his head and hoped his dad would agree meet him.

Harry had been prepared to set up a meeting time a few days away, but James was available now. He waited a couple of minutes before Apparating to the park. His dad wasn't there yet, so he took a seat on a bench until he saw his dad approach and start pacing. Taking a breath, Harry cut across the grass to reach the path his dad was on.

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	noonescabbage 2008-04-30 04:13 am UTC (link)
	James was on the defensive. Harry had been angry and judgmental. That had made James angry. The silence had managed to hurt James' feelings. When he noticed his son approaching, James didn't acknowledge him right away. When Harry was close enough that he couldn't be ignored, James looked up. "Oi." He didn't sound overly friendly. Nor did he sound overly mean. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

future_auror
2008-04-30 04:39 am UTC (link)

Harry had been hurt too, and knew he'd screwed up with things he said. It was an all-around messy situation he had needed time to think about.

He didn't push James to talk. No matter how many times he'd rehearsed in his head what he wanted to say, he'd forgotten it all now.

"Hi." Harry was quiet for a few moments. James wasn't looking at him. "I'm sorry, Dad," he said gently, with sincere remorse. Harry knew that wasn't enough. It was clear he had more to say, but he thought that seemed like an appropriate starting point.

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	noonescabbage 2008-04-30 04:42 am UTC (link)
	"Y'should be," James said. His voice was quiet and a little strained. But he looked up at Harry. An apology was probably the best possible opening Harry could have begun with. It made a little dent in the armor James had built up over the time they hadn't been speaking. It cracked through his anger a little. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

future_auror
2008-04-30 04:57 am UTC (link)

And Harry was sorry. For one thing, he was screwing up this chance to have a relationship with his parents by hurting them because he was getting worked up over something. There were a lot worse things he could've found out about them, once he thought about the grand scheme of things.

"I went camping with Ron for awhile, to sort things out." It was part of an explanation as to why there'd been so much silence from his end.

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noonescabbage
2008-04-30 05:00 am UTC (link)

James nodded. He didn't have anything to say. Thickheaded and stubborn to a point that wasn't quite healthy, James usually solved fights with his fists. If it were Padfoot standing before him instead of Harry, he'd have pounced, hit him, and gotten over his anger by the time they'd brushed the dirt off one another. Actually talking things through, James wasn't quite as good at.

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future_auror
2008-04-30 05:30 am UTC (link)

Harry knew some guys liked to solve things by fighting. He supposed it worked for them, but after Uncle Vernon and school bullies, Harry hadn't liked violence much or thought it an effective solution.

"So, um." His mind was still blank, and he'd forgotten everything he'd wanted to say. It was like one of those things that seems to happen every time you have an important exam. "I guess I wasn't prepared to hear what you had to tell me. I wanted to know, but wasn't ready. And I reacted badly. And I... I hurt you and Mum. I'm sorry."

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	noonescabbage 2008-04-30 05:33 am UTC (link)
	James still had his arms crossed over his chest. He was moving back and forth, not quite pacing but unable to stay completely still. He nodded. "Yeah." A pause. "You should apologize to your mum, too. Later. When you can." The edge in his voice was lessening. He didn't look any kinder, but he sounded less angry. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

future_auror
2008-04-30 05:51 am UTC (link)

Harry looked surprised. He had every intention of doing so. "Oh, I will. But I wanted to talk to you first," he explained. Harry resisted the urge to dig his toe in the dirt or something.

"I know you still love each other. It was hard to wrap my mind around it, and..." he couldn't explain why he'd felt sort of entitled to be told. Maybe that he'd been here for months and... "We were so honest with each other, Dad, about everything, I thought. I guess I felt sort of lied to, but you didn't have an obligation to tell me about it. I'm sorry I... acted how I did."

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noonescabbage
2008-04-30 06:06 am UTC (link)

"Good," James said. Simple. Gruff.

"I didn't want you to get weird about it." He met Harry's bright green eyes. "I don't have to tell you everything all at once. Nobody's folks tell them everything. I haven't lied to you about anything. I'll answer just about anything you ask." He was rambling a little, maybe. He'd worked up some anger over the period of silence. And that combined with the hurt tumbled out. "You were a fucking ponce. But," this was softer, "I think you get that."

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future_auror
2008-04-30 06:35 am UTC (link)

Harry was slightly abashed. He looked down a little. "I've never had parents before. Til Sirius, really. And maybe Dumbledore." Harry was a smart guy and knew the Dursleys were hardly what you would call role models.

"Yeah. I was. I think I was mostly worried you and Mum wouldn't end up together and wouldn't get married. Wouldn't have me. And..." Okay, it squicked him to think of Sirius and Remus and... he stopped his mind before it went any further. "No one ever mentioned any of this when they talked about you and Mum. It caught me off guard. It all happened in this reality, didn't it?"

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noonescabbage
2008-04-30 05:40 pm UTC (link)

"I love your mum," James said, and he met Harry's eyes when he spoke. "I will stay with your mum as long as she'll have me. Which, I think, might be a while." He paused. "Yeah, all of it happened here. Things are... different here. Things are fucked. We stuck together." Stuck together having a few different meanings. "It got us through finding out about everything."

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	future_auror 2008-04-30 09:00 pm UTC (link)
	Harry listened and then nodded slowly. A small smile formed. "I'm glad you're with her. You always looked so happy in those pictures." He looked back at his dad. "That's when you found out about what happened to all of you? And about me?" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	noonescabbage 2008-04-30 09:49 pm UTC (link)
	"We are happy," James said. "Yeah. I found out as soon as I got here. It was bad for a while. We just... didn't handle it well. I didn't." James frowned. It'd been bad, arriving here. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	future_auror 2008-05-01 01:58 am UTC (link)
	Harry's smile widened. "What about now? Is it... easier now?" Harry thought of the times he'd been slammed with surprising news. It had seemed to happen year after year at Hogwarts. He felt he could sympathize a little. "Or at least easier to think about it?" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	noonescabbage 2008-05-01 02:05 am UTC (link)
	"Yeah," James said. In spite of himself, he was getting less standoffish and more friendly. "Especially since Pete is here. I know it's not going to happen again." A pause. "It's never easy thinking about yourself and the people you love getting murdered. But... it's like... it's not as real anymore. Which is odd, I suppose." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	future_auror 2008-05-01 02:28 am UTC (link)
	Harry's jaw tightened. No, it wasn't going to happen again. Nothing with Voldemort would ever happen again. Every day, he carefully monitored his scar for any signs of pain or even tingling. "Sorry I said the things I did, Dad." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	noonescabbage 2008-05-01 02:38 am UTC (link)
	James nodded and exhaled. "I know, mate. I'm sorry, too." James knew he probably could have handled things better. He knew it wasn't just Harry's fault that things had gone bad. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	future_auror 2008-05-01 04:59 am UTC (link)
	Harry glanced down. "Thanks, Dad." That meant a lot to him. "Guess we still need to work on getting to know each other, yeah?" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	noonescabbage 2008-05-01 01:29 pm UTC (link)
	'Yeah," James said, scoffing a little. "That's probably a good idea." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

future_auror
2008-05-02 03:33 am UTC (link)

There was a few moments of silence as Harry tried to think of what to say. This hadn't been as bad as he'd imagined it might have gone. He wasn't very good at this sort of thing either. Everything seemed to be resolved now, but he should probably ask, right?

"So... what now?" He turned to his dad. "Are we back to being us again?" Because Harry really wanted things to be right between them again.

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noonescabbage
2008-05-04 04:13 am UTC (link)

"Yeah." James said with a little shrug. "We'll be alright. I have fights with my mates. It happens. We yell at each other or fight and then it's over. You were stupid. I was stupid. We're both sorry." James paused. "Just make sure you have a talk with your mum soon and we'll be fine." James ran a hand through his hair, messing it up in the way he liked. He was still slightly grumbly but was on his way to being completely better. Being okay with Harry was important to him.

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	future_auror 2008-05-04 07:06 am UTC (link)
	Harry nodded in agreement. "I'll talk to her soon," he promised. He glanced over at his dad and tried to hide a smile at the too familiar messy hair. "Do you want to hang out, Dad?" The question was asked with some tentativeness. He wasn't sure if James was ready to act like mates again. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	noonescabbage 2008-05-04 07:09 am UTC (link)
	"Good." James knew Harry would be good on his word. "I suppose, yeah." James nodded. He didn't want to seem too enthusiastic. But it was clear he was interested in doing things with Harry again. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	future_auror 2008-05-04 07:11 am UTC (link)
	Harry felt new at this all over again. Blimey. "I don't know if you have time right now... Maybe we could get something to eat? Catch up?" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	noonescabbage 2008-05-05 02:49 am UTC (link)
	James thought for a moment. "I-" He stopped himself suddenly. Padfoot and he were supposed to go out and do something stupid. Which meant they'd probably wander the city for a while and get into trouble with the local muggles. "Yeah. I can stay out for a bit," he said. Padfoot could wait a little while. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	future_auror 2008-05-05 09:16 pm UTC (link)
	"Are you sure?" Harry had noticed his pause. "We can do something another time." (Reply to this) (Parent)