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Carrie Kelley ([info]girlwonder) wrote in [info]utr_logs,
@ 2008-04-21 21:15:00

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Entry tags:bruce wayne, carrie kelley

Who. Bruce and Carrie
What. The two of them being... the two of them. Talk. And figuring things out.
Where. London


It was something Carrie hadn't done in a long while. Maybe she'd grown up some since she'd arrived in this world. Maybe she just hadn't wanted to bother Bruce as much as she had back home. He had a number of wards here to deal with, not just her. Either way, Carrie couldn't really remember the last time she'd just run to Bruce for comfort. And that was about to change.

A day with Kimber had been good. Carrie had explained the situation and spent most of the time after trying to ignore the stress for a little longer. There wasn't a clear solution to sudden, unexpected marriage.

When she heard the knock on the door, Carrie rose off of Kimber's couch and went to answer. She hadn't expected Bruce to be so quick. Or to come out of costume. Or to come knocking at Kimber's door. "Bruce," she looked up at him. It took self control to not just jump into his arms. "Hi."


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[info]darkcrusader
2008-04-22 02:12 am UTC (link)
Bruce gave her a soft, sad smile. "Carrie," he replied. "Hello."

He was worried about her. He'd expected her to get angry and scream at him. He'd expected a fight. Her subdued reaction concerned him greatly. He had planned on taking his jet, but it was in need of repairs. It was Alfred who reminded him of the portkeys. Bruce was still not used to thinking of such supernatural methods.

He reached down, touching her shoulder gently.

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[info]girlwonder
2008-04-22 02:19 am UTC (link)
There was just something about Bruce. Something that Carrie could see that most of the other Bats just couldn't. He wasn't as cold or mean as they joked him to be. Not to Carrie, at least.

She stepped closer, not really caring that they were in the doorway, and rested her head on his shoulder. Her arms went around him. She knew he disliked hugs. Too bad. She closed her eyes and exhaled. "Sorry," she mumbled as she pulled away.

"Thanks for coming. You think we could... go somewhere?" She didn't care where, really.

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[info]darkcrusader
2008-04-22 02:42 am UTC (link)
He wrapped an arm around Carrie's back as she hugged him. The gesture was somehow more warm and sincere than the 'pat-pat' he had given her in the past when she hugged him. Knowing that she still needed his comfort was--well--comforting.

"It's all right," he said as she pulled back. He nodded. "Have you eaten?"

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[info]girlwonder
2008-04-22 02:51 am UTC (link)
Bruce Wayne being touchy was surely one of the signs of the upcoming Apocalypse. It probably spoke volumes as to how out of it Carrie was that she didn't comment. "Yeah." She smiled, but it seemed a little weak. "And I've caught up on some soaps..." she turned, looked over her shoulder and held up a finger. "Let me tell Kimber I'll be back later and grab my jacket."

She kept the door hanging open and ran to one of the back rooms. It only took a second, Carrie had already warned Kimber that Bruce would be visiting. Another minute to grab her jacket and she was back. "I don't know where we should go. I don't know where I'm going." Her lips quirked into a crooked, slightly bitter smirk.

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[info]darkcrusader
2008-04-22 03:46 am UTC (link)
Bruce waited patiently for her. He nodded then, when she returned. "We'll just walk, then." It was early in the evening. The sun would be going down in about an hour. He'd deliberately arrived early enough that they couldn't change into costume right away. It would have been too easy. The masks gave them walls to put up between each other, and both of them would gladly take those walls. But he didn't think either one of them would benefit from such things at this point.

"Do you like London?" he asked as they walked down the steps to the street.

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[info]girlwonder
2008-04-22 03:59 am UTC (link)
"It's a good place to hide," Carrie said with a little shrug. "And it's nice. More expensive than New York, though. And I guess I've gotten used to New York. It's about as close to Gotham as we're going to get." She sighed. "I miss home, still. It's nice here. I really like it here. We have more of a family. Jason's alive and okay. Cass and Tim exist. This world isn't quite so... dystopian. But I miss home. Things were a lot more simple there."

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[info]darkcrusader
2008-04-22 11:51 am UTC (link)
Bruce nodded. He understood what she meant. There were certainly times he would have preferred home--each of his homes. Having so many memories of so many Gothams was stressful at times. Things would be much simpler if he only had one. He would hate to lose Carrie, though.

He gave a sigh. He would've liked to be warmer with Carrie. To wrap an arm around her shoulders as they walked--it was clear she could use the comfort. But he shoved his hands into his pockets and walked alongside her.

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[info]girlwonder
2008-04-22 02:30 pm UTC (link)
"I don't know what to do," she admitted. "There's a part of me that just wants to run. He's my first real boyfriend and I'm still... I'm nineteen." Carrie had done her best to avoid the subject while at Kimber's. But it was different with Bruce. She felt Bruce was extremely easy to talk to sometimes, which seemed counterintuitive. But he cared about her. Enough that he could put up with emotion for a short while.

They were walking down quiet side streets. She looked down at the pavement. "But that's wrong. I asked him." She'd been drunk, yes, but she'd still initiated the whole thing. "And I love him. I don't want to run, really. There are so many- it's so... complicated." She looked up at Bruce. "What should I do?" Before the question was completely out of her mouth, she knew the answer. But she'd asked anyway in hopes that he'd give her some wisdom.

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[info]darkcrusader
2008-04-22 05:31 pm UTC (link)
"I can't tell you what to do," he said, because it had to be said. Because he was Bruce Wayne and it was like he was reading lines from a script. Never mind that he told all of his wards what to do and expected them to follow his orders through a hundred and ten percent. This was different. They were on new territory.

"Would you have run before you found out?" he asked, already knowing the answer. "Has he insisted on some sort of change to your daily routine?" the questions were quiet and cautious. He was giving advice, but he was unwilling to put it too bluntly. Carrie was an adult, and had to decide for herself on these sorts of personal matters, regardless of what Bruce wanted.

"If you choose to, you can speak with my lawyers. If you want to wipe the slate clean and reapproach the topic later when you're both ready." He wanted it to be clear that he wasn't trying to steer her toward 'running away'. He just wanted her to be aware that he would support her, whatever decision was made. "If that would make things easier."

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[info]girlwonder
2008-04-22 05:39 pm UTC (link)
"I think he's always wanted to be married and have a family," she said, musing quietly to herself. "He's... not like us in a lot of ways." Carrie took after Bruce in a lot of ways. Mostly, she saw this as a good thing.

"I wouldn't have run. You know that. And right after we found out, he said we could get a divorce and it wouldn't be a big thing. But I think it would be to him. I think it'd break his heart a little." A pause. "I never really wanted to get married. Honestly? I've never really had any plans. I always thought I'd be a sidekick and that'd be good enough for me." The thing about being a hero was that their lifespans weren't usually very long. Carrie had expected to die young and at Bruce's side. Family hadn't ever really been an option she'd considered. She didn't think it was fair to have one when she put herself in danger all the time. "Now..." she didn't know how to finish the sentence.

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[info]darkcrusader
2008-04-22 05:51 pm UTC (link)
Bruce frowned. He didn't like it. He didn't like letting go. She was his little girl, and he didn't like this. It was purely selfish, and he kept his mouth shut. Anything he could add at this point would be biased and quite possibly not in Carrie's best interest.

Again, he wanted to reach out to her comfortingly, but he continued to walk.

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[info]girlwonder
2008-04-22 05:56 pm UTC (link)
"I would have talked to you about it. First. If... if we'd done it the right way." She glanced up at him, watched his face for a minute and went on. "I would have..."

Carrie hung her head. It seemed important that Bruce know, that she tell him. But she didn't really know how. And maybe it was best if she just kept her mouth shut.

Not that she ever kept her mouth shut for long.

"I'd have told you. I'd have asked what you thought about it."

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[info]darkcrusader
2008-04-22 06:10 pm UTC (link)
"I just wanted to be there," he confessed quietly. He didn't need her to ask what he thought; he wouldn't have been able to tell her then any more than he could now. But he'd wanted to be there, for Carrie and Dick. That was why he'd ben acting the way he had. He was hurt that he couldn't have been there. He understood now that it wasn't their fault, but he was still sad about it.

He stopped walking, turning to face her.

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[info]girlwonder
2008-04-22 06:13 pm UTC (link)
Carrie looked down. She'd messed up so bad with this whole thing. "I'm sorry," she said. There wasn't anything else she could say. They were his kids, his family, and he hadn't been there for something so important.

When he stopped, she followed suit, looking at him curiously.

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[info]darkcrusader
2008-04-23 02:55 am UTC (link)
He nodded a little. "I know." It wasn't something she'd intended. He'd forgiven her long before she even knew what he was angry about. "I don't blame you." He knew neither one of them knew what they were doing, and they certainly weren't trying to exclude him. He wasn't proud of the decisions that had led up to their current predicament, and would have expected more control from them.. But they were young. And he knew they weren't proud of it either.

He continued to stand there, looking down at her.

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[info]girlwonder
2008-04-23 03:00 am UTC (link)
It was a small relief that he didn't seem mad and that he didn't blame her. She was blaming herself plenty for the whole situation. Carrie was looking up at Bruce and felt as though something important might happen. She wasn't sure what, exactly. There was just something there in the air. Not sure if she was just imagining it or not, Carrie grew silent. There was a question in her eyes, but she said nothing.

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[info]darkcrusader
2008-04-23 03:19 am UTC (link)
He was silent. There was nothing to say. He felt like an idiot, but he reached down and wrapped an arm around her and pulled her to him in an awkward sort of hug.

He hoped she wouldn't ask him what it was for, because he was not sure he could articulate it.

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[info]girlwonder
2008-04-23 03:24 am UTC (link)
She hadn't expected that. At first, she was stiff in his arms. Carrie couldn't really recall a time that he'd initiated physical contact. Not a hug, at least. He always patted her and fought with her. But he didn't embrace her. It just wasn't something Bruce did.

After a second, her arms went around him and she buried her face in his shoulder. She felt her eyes water and she didn't really know why. Maybe it was just stress. Maybe something else entirely. She held onto him tightly, not really caring that they were in the middle of the street, that people could see them.

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[info]darkcrusader
2008-04-23 11:41 am UTC (link)
When she fell into the hug, he relaxed. It became a little easier. He wrapped his other arm around her. He rested his cheek against the top of her head, and one of his hands pet her hair lightly. It was like a normal-people hug. And it actually wasn't as hard as he'd thought it would be.

He didn't care that they were in public. If tabloids came out with a story of Bruce Wayne hooking up with some young Hollywood starlet, they would be destroyed and none of the reporters would work again; in Gotham or in any other town. Most of them knew this.

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[info]girlwonder
2008-04-23 01:20 pm UTC (link)
Who would have guessed Bruce Wayne could actually have and display emotions? Carrie would have voiced how impressed she was. But saying something would end it and Carrie wasn't quite so sure she wanted to do that. She did turn her face slightly to the side and brought a hand to wipe the dampness from her cheeks in order to keep from getting Bruce's shirt wet. Her other arm was still around him. Sniffling quietly, Carrie just rested against him. It felt like it was going on forever but probably was only lasting a few brief seconds.

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[info]darkcrusader
2008-04-24 11:29 am UTC (link)
You'll always be my little girl, he thought, still holding her. He wasn't quite ready to say it; wasn't sure how anything would sound if he voiced it outloud, and he held the same reservations about speaking that she did. Whether you want to be or not. A very small, wry smile brushed his face as he stroked her hair.

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[info]girlwonder
2008-04-24 02:35 pm UTC (link)
"I love you, Bruce," she mumbled very suddenly. "Always." Her voice was low. It was entirely possible he wouldn't be able to hear. She wouldn't go into the details. How there'd always been a piece of her that just belonged to Bruce. That there always would be, whether she was married, single, young, or old. It didn't really need to be said.

Taking a deep breath, she pulled back just a little and looked up at him. "Thank you."

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[info]darkcrusader
2008-04-26 06:32 pm UTC (link)
"I love you, too," he said, leaning down to kiss her forehead. It felt surreal; like it was another person saying the words. Out-of-body experience or not, though, he knew it was true, and that he meant them, completely.

There were things he would not admit. He refused to examine all of the reasons underlying his anger upon discovering the marriage. If there was something more than he had already explained, he would not admit it, even to himself. But this he would, at least this once. He loved Carrie. She was very important to him.

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[info]girlwonder
2008-04-26 06:40 pm UTC (link)
In that moment, Carrie had a feeling. She knew Bruce. She knew how to read Bruce. Maybe her feelings weren't one sided. It was weird to think he might...

But she didn't want to dwell on those thoughts. Instead, she gave him a small, shaky smile. "If we're not careful, we might start growing emotions," she said. Because she needed to lighten this entire thing. "How scary a concept is that. Feelings. Bleh."

She took another deep breath. And because she couldn't stop herself, "No matter what happens, I'm always on your side. You know that, right? I'm always your Robin. Even if I change my handle. Even if I pop out five kids. If I'm a celibate single. Whether I'm thirteen or ninety. Even when I'm fighting with you. Even when you're not talking to me for whatever reason." She felt awkward, but she wanted to say it. She needed to get it out in the open so that Bruce didn't have any doubts. "Just because things are changing and I'm getting older... doesn't mean I'm going to forget about you or stop being your sidekick." And friend. Daughter. Partner."I swear."

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[info]darkcrusader
2008-04-26 09:55 pm UTC (link)
Bruce gave a small smile when she expressed concern over growing feelings. He very nearly chuckled. He was about to reassure her when she grew more serious again.

He smiled down to her, but there was a hint of sadness to it. Sadness that he had given her, or himself, cause to doubt, maybe, or sadness at the changing roles they had to face. But he nodded, his hand still in her hair. "I know," he said softly. And after a moment, "Thank you." For reminding him.

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[info]girlwonder
2008-04-27 02:27 am UTC (link)
"Anytime." They were just standing there for a moment, silence growing between them. It was sad. Carrie had the feeling they were saying goodbye in a way.

She didn't shy away from his touch. Instead, she looked up at him. "Do you want to do something? Something normal?" Bruce was in rare form. It was unlikely she'd catch him like this in a long while. So she figured they might as well do something together. Something real family members did. She hadn't any clue what, exactly.

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[info]darkcrusader
2008-04-27 03:40 am UTC (link)
"I do," he answered, that rare smile still on his face. It was genuine, though. Not the mask that Bruce sometimes had to wear during the day. He studied her face. "You don't have anything in mind, do you?" It was a strange day. Very strange. "Walk with me." As if it needed to be said. He began walking again, his hand on her back at first, then dropping to his side, a bit awkwardly. The smile was still on his face, though, and his step seemed light.

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