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Michael Myers ([info]ex_theshape870) wrote in [info]utr_logs,
@ 2008-01-18 21:53:00

Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Entry tags:delirium, michael myers

Who: Michael and Del. There will sort of be two cameos, but not really. You'll see.
When: Tonight-ish.
Where: His hotel room. And briefly Azathoth's daemon-court at the center of everything, but only in memory. So technically just his hotel room.
Warnings: Hmm...not sure how horrible I'm going to describe Azathoth's place. So, potentially, warnings for that. Actually probably warnings for that.

Michael sat propped up against the headboard of his cheap motel bed. The TV was on, but he wasn't really paying attention to it. His eyes gazed through it, out into the see of blackness that was the space between his last memory here before his disappearance and his first upon arriving back. There was something there, something that sent his heart into it's best impersonation of a machine gun, something that chilled his blood enough to make him shiver. He wondered if this was what it was like to be in a horror movie, and then was struck so fully by the irony of that thought that he erupted into a fit of laughter that could, just maybe, be described as hysterical.

A bottle of Skyy vodka sat on the nightstand, but it hadn't been touched. Something told him he'd need it later. He'd already held three internal debates in the last hour, trying to convince himself to forget all this and move on. Maybe it would have worked before, but now that he'd committed to it, it's like there was something inside that wouldn't let him break course now. Even though he deeply, deeply wanted to.

Drawing in a deep breath, he closed his eyes and began to think of Del. While thinking of Del would usually calm him, now it did nothing to ease his mind. Whatever was about to happen, he knew it would be a train wreck. He'd only agreed to go along with her because he wasn't going to let her face the train wreck alone. It was, after all, his memories that would be bringing the bad. At the same time, he couldn't stop thinking about that great yawning expanse in his mind, where the unknowable horror lurked just behind a locked mental door.

Finally steeling himself, he focused all his mind on Del. He was far from steeled, but it would be the best he could do. He had some remembering to do.



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[info]ex_tempusfra525
2008-01-19 03:17 am UTC (link)
Delirium was just getting used to her realm again, sorting things to her liking in the fluxuating chaos of her realm, when she felt the tug of Michael's focus on her. She worked on pulling her self free from her realm enough to go to him, using the slight anxiety and hysteria in him to latch on, physically swimming her way towards his being.

She ended up perched on the headboard next to his shoulder, one foot very gently brushing his arm.

"Boo." Obviously, she was a fan of the irony, too.

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[info]ex_theshape870
2008-01-19 03:26 am UTC (link)
Normally Michael wouldn't have been spooked, but with his own mind seemingly rebelling against him and some strange fear lurking in darkened memories, he couldn't help it. He jumped a little, head smacking lightly against the headboard.

Rolling over and pulling himself into a sitting position on the bed, he tossed her a rueful grin. "A psycho killer getting spooked. Either the weirds aren't over yet or I've lost my touch." It was a joke, but a particularly weak one. And far more wordy than he usually was. Both his obvious attempt at humor and the increase in his vocabulary were all pretty good signs that the fear was the kind of deep down fear that usually only came from a childhood fear carried on into adulthood. The fact that this one simply sprang up when all of his other fears were long since gone...that wasn't a good thing at all.

He grimaced a little, knowing how weak the joke sounded, and then simply shrugged. "Okay, so..." His brow furrowed a little in curiosity. "I'm thinking this is a 'arms and legs inside the ride at all times' type thing?"

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[info]ex_tempusfra525
2008-01-19 03:31 am UTC (link)
She nodded, sliding down the headboard to sit on the bed next to him, seeming to think about that for a second before wiggling to sit on the bed facing him, hands on his knees.

Inhaling deeply, she huffed out a breath, seeming to compose herself all at once, hair falling as a motionless blonde mass to her shoulders, dress becoming decidedly more conventional. Her eyes were squeezed shut, but she seemed to still be paying attention to him. "You're safe. No matter what, Mikey. Just stay calm. And stay by me. And don't talk without my okay." The last was said with a surprising amount of wariness, which she tried to hide with a little grin, eyes still closed.

"Okay?"

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[info]ex_theshape870
2008-01-19 03:39 am UTC (link)
Michael took a deep breath himself, composing himself as best he could. Surprisingly, his hands were shaking. He made them into fists and shoved them into his lap to keep them steady. He almost, almost backed out of the whole thing, but instead he just focused on Del's voice. The wariness surprised him, but he knew she knew what she was talking about. "Okay. No talking." There was a little part of his mind that wondered if he'd be able to hold to that, if he'd be able to keep himself from screaming if whatever this was turned out to be truly horrible, but he didn't voice the concern. It was probably now or never for this, and he'd prefer the now.

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[info]ex_tempusfra525
2008-01-19 03:44 am UTC (link)
At his okay, she reached out to gently put her hands over his fists, giving a little shove into them, as she nudged them towards his door; she knew mortals reacted a little better when there was touch to go along with a mental motion like that. She needed him as calm as she could get, as long as she could get.

Soon they were left standing in front of the door he had mentioned, Delirium glancing up to take in the full height of it from her shortened stature. Deciding that wouldn't do, she held her breath and drawing herself up a taller height, shoulders back to present a more confident image than she felt.

With a small sigh, she approached the door, setting a hand on the handle. Immediately, her face fell, although she recovered her soft smile quickly. "Okay. We... can go." The hesitance was probably not a good sign, but he had to believe she wouldn't lead him somewhere she thought to be dangerous.

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[info]ex_theshape870
2008-01-19 03:54 am UTC (link)
Michael kept his focus on Del the whole time. He knew if he let it wander his doubts about his own ability to remain calm would get the better of him. Still, even with this intense focus, the closer they got to the door, the harder it became. For a moment, at the threshold, a wave of fear struck him so hard it nearly bowled him over. Every instinct he had was telling him to turn back, and if he were alone he would have without a second thought.

Del's presence gave him an anchor. He couldn't resist the fear, but he rode it out, and then gave her a brief nod. His pulse thrummed in his head like thunder and his jaw set so tightly he thought his teeth might crack, but he could go on. He didn't think about what could be behind the door. To do so would overwhelm him and send him on the path his instincts wished him to go. Instead he just continued to focus on Del, even as he moved closer to the door.

His eyes suddenly widened and he looked up at Del, confusion seeping in despite his nearly overwhelming fear. For a second, he could have sworn he heard some kind of music...

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[info]ex_tempusfra525
2008-01-19 04:03 am UTC (link)
The music was there, although she was trying to hold it off, shield him as much as she could. Azathoth, one of her original minions, long since lost to his own devices. She could feel the utter chaos streaming off of him in waves, and drew herself together even more to try and counteract it with a little sanity of her own. Turning the handle, she pushed the door forward, and stepped inside, trying to lead by example.

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[info]ex_theshape870
2008-01-19 04:23 am UTC (link)
Michael stepped across the threshold behind Del, and that was when it all went to hell. Del's shielding did fend off the worst of it, which is why he did not drop to his knees while screaming and clutching at his head. However, his body noticeably tensed, becoming almost completely rigid. This time when his jaw set, his upper teeth bit down into the soft tissue of his lower lip, bringing up little pinpricks of crimson all along the inside of his lip. His heart beat so fast he thought he might have a heart attack any moment, or perhaps already was.

His eyes were no longer affixed on Del. They were wide, so wide it hurt, and staring out into the vast expanse of Azathoth's kingdom. The place seemed to undulate and change with each passing second, but these were the things he knew: There were a thousand flutists and likewise that many drummers, all playing their own song and yet simultaneously the same song, the music beautiful and horrible at the same time. Behind that were moans and groans of pleasure and pain, shouts of horror and joy, many times at the same time. Flashes of color danced along his perceptions, some he knew, many he didn't.

Above it all, there was a throne of pure black stone, or a material that looked like stone. He didn't dare look to it's inhabitant just yet, instead finding his vision drawn to a roiling black cloud that flew here and there throughout this horrifying place. Somehow he knew the name of that cloud, that terrible entity, and it came to him unbidden. Nyarlathotep.

The cloud made a sound akin to a cackling, though it sounded as if it came from the slimy, gurgling throat of a frog. Even though this was memory, Michael thought for a moment that perhaps it could perceive them even as they stood...and then realized that it could. Could the throne-sitter? Quite probably.

All these thoughts were pushed out of his mind as his gaze settled on one piece of familiarity amidst all this chaos: Himself. The sight of his body was almost enough to get him screaming, in anger and horror and disgust all at once. Only Del's warning before they began kept him quiet, his teeth biting down even more deeply on his lower lip.

His body knelt at the foot of the throne. Knelt like a servant before the black throne of the daemon-sultan Azathoth, and only now did Michael let his gaze travel up that throne to take in it's king.

It was too much for Michael to perceive. Azathoth was all at once an undulating gray gelatinous mass of particles, a giant beetle overrun with a strange, viscous black fungus, a leper with constantly changing proportions, a void of nothingness, and a young king dressed in furs and robes with an obsidian crown upon his head and a too-large sword in his right hand.

He attempted to close his eyes, but a voice invaded his mind and deafened all of his senses as it spoke. Watch and learn, boyo! Nyarlathotep. It was no use, try as he might his eyes would not close more than halfway. So it was that he beheld Azathoth stand and climb down from his throne, each step a deliberate show of nonchalance. He watched his body hold out his left arm, forearm up, without ever looking up from the ground, which was not ground at all but merely a starry void. Azathoth's sword, to his gaze unwieldy, carved it's mark into his arm with the grace of Zorro carving his Z. And then the daemon-king simply turned, climbed back up the steps to his throne, and sat once again.

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[info]ex_tempusfra525
2008-01-19 04:36 am UTC (link)
Delirium glanced around at the chaos before them, a look of something akin to disgust on her face. Azathoth was her brother-child, a part of her, as much a product of her as she was of him. His penchant for the melodramatic and the obscene had never settled well with her, for she once remembered when there had been balance; when she had been his opposite, more than his equal.

It pained her to watch Michael suffer through this, but she knew better than to step forward, to openly chalange Azathoth in his own realm. She was just barely strong enough to hold the two of them out of his grasp, to let Michael get his answers without becoming lost in the void.

Finally, she decided she couldn't take much more, and approached Michael cautiously, eyes never leaving the throne, and its inhabitant. "We should leave this place." Even as she spoke, her posture was straight, formal; she would not show him fear; this went much beyond that. He was one of the few creatures who held Delirium's actual loathing. The show of strength was simply to spite him.

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[info]ex_theshape870
2008-01-19 04:49 am UTC (link)
Michael stared at his body, Azathoth's mark carved into his arm. He would have wondered what that meant, but he would be deluding himself. Deep down, he knew. But he wouldn't think it here. Not here, and not now.

When Del suggested they leave, Michael almost screamed his approval. In a way, he did, the word yes screaming through his mind. He was dimly aware of Nyarlathotep engulfing his memory-body and disappearing, and then, very, very briefly, he felt Azathoth's attention on him as he was now. Just as suddenly as it came, it passed.

He wanted to run through the door, slam it closed, and then perhaps blow it up with a tactical nuclear strike. But he couldn't, could he? He couldn't do that any more than he could deny that when they returned to his hotel room, he would find Azathoth's mark on his left forearm.

He would wait for Del to lead. She knew what she was doing here far better than he did. Yet part of him felt that it no longer mattered. Knowing what he knew now, a part of him was beginning to crumble, beginning to give in to hopelessness. Still, he wanted to at least get out of here. After that...he'd have some thinking to do.

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[info]ex_tempusfra525
2008-01-19 04:53 am UTC (link)
She purposefully took his hand in hers, leading him back away from the throne, through the hoardes back towards the door they had entered through. She led him through first, with her hand, before turning and walking out facing the masses, seeming to say something unintelligible.

Once she was through the door, it slammed shut with a vicious force, almost seeming to slap the concentration off of her. With a brush of air, her controlled facade fell away, leaving her the small, rumpled teenager she usually was.

Her hand squeezed his, trying to draw him back to his reality, as gently as possible.

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[info]ex_theshape870
2008-01-19 05:02 am UTC (link)
He stood coherently, staring into Delirium's eyes...

...for all of three seconds. Then he dove wildly away, collapsing more than diving, to all fours and vomiting up everything he'd eaten since arriving back here. There wasn't much, and his body continued to heave for several minutes. His mind swam and spun, the sounds and colors still tormenting him, until finally they began to fade. Almost as soon as he realized this, they dropped away completely, and he was staring at a puddle of vomit on the floor of his hotel room.

He rolled over, barely avoiding the puddle of vomit as he plopped down on the floor, and more or less tore the left sleeve of his shirt off. Were he more coherent, he'd have noted the irony of finally having stable clothing only to tear it apart, but all he was concerned with was what was underneath.

There it was, clear as day. A scar and a tattoo all at once, deep furrows in his skin colored an inky black, connecting in bizarre lines that made up the mark of the blind idiot god Azathoth. Michael stared at it for a long minute, and then looked up at Del, his face pale and practically hanging from his bones. "What does this mean?" It was a stupid question, and Michael knew it. His voice was hollow and devoid of any real curiosity because he knew.

He knew.

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[info]ex_tempusfra525
2008-01-19 05:09 am UTC (link)
Delirium, by her very nature, wasn't very capable of understanding much about humans- at least not in appearance. She was confused, momentarily, by the way his body wracked and heaved, not understanding the emotion until he looked up at her.

Disgust. Hatred. Fear. She frowned, feeling partly responsible, and knelt down next to him, folding her hands in her lap.

"You already know the answer. I'm- I'm sorry, Mikey." Her voice was soft, childlike, eyes shamelessly locked on the mark on his arm.

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[info]ex_theshape870
2008-01-19 05:21 am UTC (link)
For a moment, suicide crossed his mind, but with a dry laugh he banished the thought. "He wouldn't let me." It was a statement, not a question. Then he shook his head, fists clenching tightly. "So what, this means I'm his?" His face twisted in disgust. "Like hell."

He shook his head again, another dry laugh escaping him. "I remember Loomis telling me once that this church group thought I did my murders for a Satanic cult." He laughed again, this time a long, low laugh that held more than a note of hysteria. "I should call them up and correct them. 'No, see, I wasn't a cultist until a few days ago. Satan? Nah. Azathoth. Oh, by the way, tell Nettie I'll be seeing her soon, okay?'" After that he couldn't hold it in any more and he leaned his head back, mouth dropping open as peals of hysterical laughter tore through him. He laughed until his sides hurt, and continued until the laughs bled into sobs, and then he was quiet again.

He looked over at Del again, this time looking exhausted but at least slightly more coherent. "I guess I can't just stab him in the face, can I?"

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[info]ex_tempusfra525
2008-01-19 05:28 am UTC (link)
Her head shook, a little gesture. Carefully refolding herself on the floor, her legs crossed in front of her in the lotus position, a few little butterflies escaping from her simply to let of a bit of her unease. They whirled around Michael, but didn't land on him, seeming to hover an inch or so above his skin before shooting off.

"He is a force. A daemon, a-" She made a noise, that might have been a word in some human language, if it weren't for the growl-like syllable at the end. "There are Laws of this sort of thing." One of her least favorite ideas, but that didn't mean she could disobey them.

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[info]ex_theshape870
2008-01-19 05:39 am UTC (link)
Michael pondered this for a minute. "Never been a big fan of laws." Another pause, this one only lasting a second. "He didn't lock the memories. I didn't, either." He shrugged a little. "Nyarlathotep did it. I don't know why, but I know that he was here too, briefly. Just visiting, I think."

He glanced at Del, this time with genuine curiosity. "...Why would he have locked those memories up? If there's nothing I can do about this, then why hide it from me?"

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[info]ex_tempusfra525
2008-01-19 05:47 am UTC (link)
"Knowledge is power," She muttered, starting to tap her toes and fingers at the thought of it. "And you know things now," She hadn't cared to try and feel if that mark gave Michael any iota of Azathoth's power, for worry of drawing him to- or into- Michael, with her attention. But she figured as much, if he had been claimed; he was being turned into a pawn, and she didn't like it.

Frowning, she stood, starting to sway and pace, an odd, thoughtless sort of dance.

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[info]ex_theshape870
2008-01-19 06:00 am UTC (link)
Michael considered that very carefully. What exactly did he know? He knew Azathoth sat at the center of everything. He knew Nyarlathotep was both of Azathoth and something entirely different. He knew Cthulhu slept in R'lyeh and he knew that Has-he knew not to even dare finish that thought. "I see your point." Still, he was puzzled why Nyarlathotep would've cared enough to hide the memories. Was it possible that Nyarlathotep hadn't been in favor of this? "Maybe...maybe Nyarlathotep and Azathoth had some kind of disagreement over this?"

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[info]ex_tempusfra525
2008-01-19 06:04 am UTC (link)
She paused, balanced precariously on one foot just long enough to nod. "Likely. You'll find chaos rarely agrees with much of anything, even other parts of itself." Her tone held an unusually... dry, tired tone to it, beyond her apparent age. As if this all seemed very old hat to her.

"Reduce saying their names, Mikey. Don't give them recognition here, lest they deign to visit." Unlikely, she knew; then again, she had believed them far past picking mortals like wild fruit for their own business. So maybe she knew less than she thought.

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[info]ex_theshape870
2008-01-19 02:57 pm UTC (link)
That made sense. Although he thought the mark might be recognition aplenty, he certainly didn't want to take any unnecessary risks. "So am I supposed to get some black robes and start chanting in a language I don't-" And it was right about there when he realized he did in fact know the language the chants needed to be in. "-a language I apparently know very well?" He knew there were other possibilities, but didn't want to think of them. Being a vessel for Azathoth was not something he could think about without losing it.

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[info]ex_tempusfra525
2008-01-19 07:02 pm UTC (link)
Delirium just shrugged, seeming lost in thought. "If you're not being controlled, then... no." After that, she sighed, deflating back against the bed behind her. She'd been too coherent, too long. It was starting to hurt.

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[info]ex_theshape870
2008-01-19 07:30 pm UTC (link)
Michael looked concerned, but he didn't approach. He had no idea what this mark did, but he didn't want to risk getting too close to anyone right now. "Del..." He composed himself and clambered to his feet. "It's okay. I think I know enough for now. We both need rest." He hoped the last part didn't sound as hollow as it really was. He wouldn't be sleeping, not for many nights. Maybe never again, if he couldn't banish the image of Azathoth's realm from his mind.

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[info]ex_tempusfra525
2008-01-19 07:47 pm UTC (link)
All she could offer was a nod, leaning a little more heavily back into the bed. "Do you want me to stay?" She figured she could at least offer, even if all she wanted to do was go get lost in her realm for a while, to mull things over.

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[info]ex_theshape870
2008-01-19 08:04 pm UTC (link)
Michael shook his head, pasting a false smile on his face that was only slightly obvious. "Nah, I'll be fine." His eyes darted to the bottle of Skyy. "I'll be okay." He wanted her to be able to rest up, and the truth was, after what he'd seen, he'd need time to think, too.

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[info]ex_tempusfra525
2008-01-19 08:07 pm UTC (link)
A sad little smile passed her lips, as she unfolded herself and stood, walking over to where he was. She very deliberately touched his cheek, just to show she could.

"You know how to reach me if you want to."

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