InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Hey Stud. You want to dance?"

Brodin Jesbar (security_tech) wrote in utr_logs,
@ 2008-03-21 23:00:00

Entry tags:

brodin jesbar, rose frost

Who: Brodin and Rose
What: Talking about torture and death
Where: Pizza place in London
When: This weekend

Brodin waited at a nice little pizza place for Rose to arrive. He'd had suggested a public place where they could get something to eat for several reasons. He and Rose still needed to talk about what had happened two months ago, and having something to eat and do besides just talking might reduce the awkwardness. Plus, everyone loved food, especially teenagers.

He could only guess at the reasons Rose's dad was so angry. Brodin was over twice Rose's age, sure, but it might've had something to do the fact that they looked exactly alike? He wasn't sure. He was waiting patiently at a table off to the side, having gotten there early and was content to have quiet time to sort out his thoughts.

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diamondclaws
2008-03-22 05:46 am UTC (link)

Rose had spent a long time getting dressed. It wasn't that she wanted to look especially nice for Brodin, it was that she tried to delay the meeting and stop herself from worrying things over by distracting herself with clothes. When she'd finally thrown on the expensive shirt and jeans combo, she stared at herself in the mirror for a long while. Rose needed to remember what people had told her. There wasn't a monster lurking over her shoulder, under her skin. Nothing was waiting to pounce. That evil blonde woman was dead. Rose only needed to be a good person to make sure it didn't happen again.

The trip from her home to the pizza place was short and full of quiet, thoughtful glances out of the tube window. When she finally stood before the place, she took a deep breath and tried to embrace her typical cool demeanor. She managed. Mostly. And made her entrance, somewhat more humble looking than her normal self.

"Brodin," she spoke softly, a little sad. Looking at him made her feel guilty for what she'd done. But he deserved an apology and explanation. "Hello."

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	security_tech 2008-03-22 05:54 am UTC (link)
	Brodin smiled warmly. "Rose," he greeted, waiting until she made it to the table. He noticed the difference in how she was acting. He'd promised himself he'd reassure her that he held no grudge. It was in the past, and too heavy of a burden for someone that young to be carrying. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	diamondclaws 2008-03-22 06:07 am UTC (link)
	"How are you?" Rose never stumbled over her words, and yet she found herself struggling to keep her sentence smooth. This was going to be weird and painful, but she needed to do it. She took the seat across from him and tried not to look anxious. She managed well enough with this. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	security_tech 2008-03-22 06:18 am UTC (link)
	"I'm glad the universe has left me settled in a single reality," he said honestly, with some indication some things had upset him, yet he still spoke cheerfully. He handed her a menu so she could look it over. "I think I'm going to order a pepperoni. Take your time deciding, I'm not in a rush." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	diamondclaws 2008-03-22 06:29 am UTC (link)
	She tucked a few strands of hair behind her ear, if just to give her hand something to do. Rose's eyes flitted over the menu, but she didn't feel very hungry just yet. When the waitress or waiter finally came, she'd order plain. And, she figured, pick at the food. "What... happened to you?" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	security_tech 2008-03-22 06:34 am UTC (link)
	"I'm not sure," he said as he closed the menu and set it aside. "I seemed to be thrown to a few different realities of my home galaxy. Or maybe I dreamed it all. It seemed real enough." He looked up at her. "How've you been the last couple months? Anything new happen?" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

diamondclaws
2008-03-22 04:10 pm UTC (link)

"Hm." It was a little scary to think that that was possible, that you could wake up in one world and then be tossed from place to place like that. "I'm glad you're back," she said in that same soft voice.

"I've been fine." His eyes went up to meet hers and, accordingly, she looked downward pretty quickly. "Nothing really. Well. I have new relatives." She didn't exactly say it enthusiastically. It wasn't like she cared for most of the Cuckoos. Of the lot of them, Sophie was the only good one.

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security_tech
2008-03-22 06:41 pm UTC (link)

It was also weird to know he'd been gone for two months here. "So am I," he smiled.

He noticed how she didn't want to meet his eyes. He'd have to work on that, too. The server came over then to take their order and Brodin ordered just what he'd said he was going to get. He waited for Rose to order and the server to leave, before asking, "New relatives? Did they get vortexed here recently?"

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	diamondclaws 2008-03-22 06:43 pm UTC (link)
	She smiled a watered down smile at him. Once the server was gone, she spoke, "Yes. They're my half sisters. Mostly. It's complicated. There are five of them. Quints." Clones, but Rose wasn't feeling mean enough to point that out. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	security_tech 2008-03-22 06:50 pm UTC (link)
	The watered down smile hurt to see a little too. "Quintuplets? Really?" His eyebrows raised in surprise, but he said nothing about how it was complicated -- complicated was the middle name of this world. "That must make your home a lot more crowded." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	diamondclaws 2008-03-22 06:54 pm UTC (link)
	"A little," Rose said. "Our house is big enough that I can avoid them if I want." Realizing that sounded bad, she added, "Most of them aren't particularly nice girls." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	security_tech 2008-03-22 07:06 pm UTC (link)
	He chuckled. "My cousin would say most girls aren't nice girls, though I think she exaggerates a lot." Brodin sobered a little, deciding to tackle the issue. "You still feel guilty over what happened," he said gently. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	diamondclaws 2008-03-22 07:22 pm UTC (link)
	"Of course," Rose said softly. "You disappeared. Before I could really apologize. Before I could make it up to you." Not that there really was a way to make up for nearly killing a man. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	security_tech 2008-03-22 09:53 pm UTC (link)
	"Apology accepted," he said gently. "And how would you make it up me? What would help you?" His question of how would she make it up wasn't phrased with bitterness, not 'how could', but he was curious as to what would assuage her guilt. He thought it was best to let her talk as much as possible. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	diamondclaws 2008-03-22 10:40 pm UTC (link)
	"I... don't know." Rose looked down and heaved a quiet sigh. This was so messy and difficult. She wished it were easy. But if it were easy, then it wouldn't be any sort of apology. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

security_tech
2008-03-22 11:07 pm UTC (link)

"Listen, Rose," he said a little more firmly, leaning forward a little to make sure he had her attention.

"That wasn't you. I know that. It was some possible future version of you. Just like I got thrown into a bunch of different realities and met a bunch of different versions of my family and friends, none of them were the ones I know here. And don't think for a moment that you might turn into the person I met that night. I know it's not possible, because you feel guilt and remorse, something she didn't."

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	diamondclaws 2008-03-23 01:06 am UTC (link)
	She sighed. People had told her the same thing with different words. It always made a small dent, but not good enough to really make Rose believe it was true. "She was me. I can be her again. If I'm not careful." She said this all very dully, quietly. It was fact. She didn't want to get upset about it. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

security_tech
2008-03-23 02:32 am UTC (link)

"You probably could," Brodin agreed simply. "Anyone could turn dark. I'm not refuting that. But I know you won't. You feel remorse. You'll keep trying to make it up to me even though I've said you don't need to. That's the mark of a good person. You may not believe me, but I believe in you. The person I'm looking at now isn't who I saw that night."

He realized he was probably wasting his breath, but he had to try.

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	diamondclaws 2008-03-23 02:35 am UTC (link)
	"Thanks," she smiled at him. It was a sad looking thing. "I've heard the same thing many times already. It's just... not easy to accept." She inhaled, blinked away the brightness in her eyes. The food came then and Rose felt grateful for the distraction. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	security_tech 2008-03-23 02:52 am UTC (link)
	Brodin was quiet for a minute as they started into their food. "Pizza was a good choice. We don't have this back home." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	diamondclaws 2008-03-23 02:53 am UTC (link)
	"You don't?" Rose sounded a little surprised. Pizza seemed the sort of thing that should have existed everywhere. "Interesting." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	security_tech 2008-03-23 02:58 am UTC (link)
	"Yeah, you're telling me. With all the alien species and worlds and foods we have back home, we don't have pizza." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	diamondclaws 2008-03-23 03:00 am UTC (link)
	She smiled, and this time it was softer made her look younger. "Shame. If you're sent back, you should introduce the recipe into your world." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	security_tech 2008-03-23 03:13 am UTC (link)
	"That's a good idea," he laughed. "Maybe everyone would stop fighting if they just had pizza." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	diamondclaws 2008-03-23 03:28 am UTC (link)
	She smiled a little. "Maybe." Things grew quiet as they ate and Rose found words a little hard to come by. She didn't know what to say or how to act. But it wasn't awful here. She felt bad, but better than she had in the past. And that was something. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

security_tech
2008-03-23 03:45 am UTC (link)

Brodin had wanted to wait before diving back into the serious topics. It was good to have a breather and collect his thoughts. And the food had been a nice distraction after all.

"I hope you don't think I've been saying that you should have 'worked through' this by now, or today, or even tomorrow," he started slowly. "If you were able to brush the guilt aside that easily, you wouldn't be the kind person I know you are. Who I see now isn't the person I saw that night. I just hope this doesn't eat away at you for the rest of your life."

A slight shadow and frown had come over his face. He really meant this. He knew he wasn't the only person she'd hurt, but it seemed important to him that she understood him, understood he bore her no grudge.

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	diamondclaws 2008-03-23 03:46 am UTC (link)
	"I didn't think that." Rose shook her head lightly. "Even if you did think that way, I wouldn't... I can hardly judge you for what you feel when I attacked you." She said this plainly, trying to hold her head up. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	security_tech 2008-03-23 05:34 am UTC (link)
	He tried to catch her eye. "If you want to make it up to me? Learn from it, but don't let it own you. I can see it eating at you still. The memories you have are something no one should ever have to remember, but don't let it keep you on such a short leash. At least not always. Please." There was earnestness in his voice. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	diamondclaws 2008-03-23 08:48 am UTC (link)
	"I'll try," she said it quietly. This was Rose being more honest than she'd been with most people. Her guilt weighed her down, still. She just didn't always let it show. "I'm trying." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	security_tech 2008-03-23 10:27 pm UTC (link)
	He felt like he was pushing too much and backed off. "I know. I'm sorry. I just don't want to see you suffer for something that I already forgave you for, if there was even anything to forgive." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	diamondclaws 2008-03-23 10:31 pm UTC (link)
	She nodded. Rose understood everything he said logically. But it was another thing entirely to actually accept and feel that way. She couldn't forgive herself, even if he'd forgiven her. "It's okay." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	security_tech 2008-03-23 10:47 pm UTC (link)
	Brodin wasn't sure this had done much good, but at least they'd talked. "If you ever need anything, or want to talk again, you can always contact me." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	diamondclaws 2008-03-23 10:50 pm UTC (link)
	"I know. Likewise." She smiled at him. "Thank you for seeing me, Brodin." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	security_tech 2008-03-23 10:51 pm UTC (link)
	He smiled. "It was the least I could do." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	diamondclaws 2008-03-23 10:59 pm UTC (link)
	Rose smiled and fell quiet. It was a little awkward. She just wasn't sure what to say. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	security_tech 2008-03-23 11:02 pm UTC (link)
	They were both finishing up their meal and Brodin remembered something he'd been meaning to ask. "Can I ask you something about your dad? Is there a reason he seems to hate me? Do I bother him somehow because we look alike?" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

diamondclaws
2008-03-23 11:05 pm UTC (link)

Rose's eyes widened. The question caught her off guard. But she could understand why Brodin would ask. "My father..." she hesitated, thinking up the proper response, "He doesn't hate you. He just loves me. And is very protective. I think he realizes that it hurts... that I feel guilty about what happened to you. And because of that, he'd rather just keep you away." There was another pause. "I'm sorry for his behavior. He will be mean, but he won't hurt you."

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	security_tech 2008-03-23 11:08 pm UTC (link)
	"If you hadn't wanted to meet, I wouldn't have pushed for it." Brodin chuckled a little. "It's all right, you don't have to apologize for him. It's understandable." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	diamondclaws 2008-03-23 11:09 pm UTC (link)
	"I... have to apologize for him a lot, actually." She shook her head. Her father was impossible sometimes. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	security_tech 2008-03-23 11:12 pm UTC (link)
	Brodin chuckled a little more. "Really, it's all right. I probably deserve it. I make similar threats sometimes to protect those I care about, just without the claws. And sometimes they feel they have to apologize for me. But I'm fine, really. I'll try not to cross your father." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	diamondclaws 2008-03-23 11:13 pm UTC (link)
	She smiled. "Thank you. But you don't have to worry about him. Really." Logan was Logan and that meant he'd continue to be obtuse and difficult. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	security_tech 2008-03-23 11:14 pm UTC (link)
	Brodin nodded, still amused a little. "Understood." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

diamondclaws
2008-03-23 11:17 pm UTC (link)

They fell a little quiet and Rose knew that it was getting a little late. Best for them to part ways on a good note. They rose together and after some debate, decided to split the bill.

They walked to the entrance of the store together and then, after a goodbye, went their separate ways. As Rose walked to the tube station, she wasn't really sure how she felt about the whole thing. What she did know was that she didn't feel any worse for having seen him. In fact, the closer to home, the more she felt glad she'd met him. It meant she was healing. Little by little. And that was a good thing.

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