Tweak

InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "d'aw wifey..."

Merrill doesn't believe in shoes (little_elf_lost) wrote in utr_logs,
@ 2011-08-26 16:13:00

Entry tags:

marian hawke, merrill

Who: Merrill and Hawke (Anders can wander in if he wants)
What: Talking about kids
Warnings: Probably none.

Merrill seemed to be the least disturbed by all of this. She certainly hadn't expected it, but it hadn't seemed completely out of the realm of possibility. That, or she was more comfortable with things that seemed completely out of the realm of possibility. Besides, she was excited about there being more Dalish, and passing on her culture to her daughter. It wasn't something she was sure she would be able to do here.

Merrill'd gone for a stroll that morning, and wandered around some of the seedier parts of Malibu without incident. She'd been gone several hours before finding her way back home. She checked various rooms in the mansion for Hawke. She had a present for the other woman.

(Post a new comment)

kirkwallchamp
2011-08-26 09:38 pm UTC (link)

Hawke was mostly only disturbed by it because of one simple thing: the thought of herself acting as a parent, of any sort, was just... mildly terrifying. She obviously wouldn't be bad at it, if what she'd seen of Stefan and Melora was anything to go by, but that didn't lessen what she felt in the slightest. Maybe there was something they weren't telling them...

Those thoughts were quickly pushed aside when she noticed Merrill come into the room. Wouldn't do to be lost in thought if she wanted her. "Been having fun exploring? You didn't get too badly lost, did you?"

(Reply to this) (Thread)

little_elf_lost
2011-08-26 10:34 pm UTC (link)

"Just a bit," Merrill said with a smile. "I stumbled across a portkey by accident, though. They're so useful!" It was a bit surprising when you didn't know that's what you were touching, but it got her home, so she was happy.

"I brought you this," she said, pulling out a little figure she'd found. It was a bird figurine. It was a songbird, not a hawk, but Merrill liked it for some reason. It made her think of Hawke.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

kirkwallchamp
2011-08-26 10:49 pm UTC (link)

"At least one of us can stand them." They had a nasty tendency to make Hawke sick to her stomach. Portkeys were not her friend and likely never would be, unless they figured out a way to resolve that issue. Honestly, worse than the Blight.

The little figure made her smile, moving to gently take it from the other woman, just to get a little better look. "That's beautiful... you know, in a birdy way. Little things like this are why I like this world."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

little_elf_lost
2011-08-26 11:48 pm UTC (link)

"They still make you sick?" Merrill had gotten a little queasy at first, but she was starting to get used to them. Not so much when they surprised her, but she could manage.

Merrill smiled brightly when Hawke took the figure. "I'm glad you like it! I thought it might be nice to have something a little normal right now.." She leaned in and kissed Hawke on the cheek.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

kirkwallchamp
2011-08-27 02:35 pm UTC (link)

Hawke nodded. It wasn't very Champion-like, to have such a bad reaction to the portkeys, but... hell, barely anyone knew she was the Champion here. She was allowed her occasional moments of weakness.

"Merrill, let's face it. This place hasn't been normal from the start," vortexes that dragged people into strange places never happened in normal places, after all. Neither did kids from the future, for that matter. "Never expected it to throw children at us, though..."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

little_elf_lost
2011-08-27 03:07 pm UTC (link)

"That's true," she agreed. "None of us are really normal people, though," she said with a smile. If they had been, Varric probably wouldn't have bothered telling their story. And their 'arrangement' wasn't normal. "I like it here," she said, her fingers catching Hawke's wrist and playing lightly with it. "Normal is overrated."

Her smile looked just a bit more nervous at the mention of children. "Strange, isn't it? But they seem..."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

kirkwallchamp
2011-08-27 04:06 pm UTC (link)

That was very, very true. Sometimes, though, Hawke couldn't help but think half the reason Varric let them live with him was down to them being the interesting sort - their relationships were probably just a bonus, at least when it came to his stories.

"They seem... nice enough," and vaguely Americanised, if them calling her 'Mom' was anything to go by. It'd take a long time to get used to that. "And one of them's an elf. Not entirely sure how we manage that."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

little_elf_lost
2011-08-27 04:56 pm UTC (link)

Merrill wasn't sure about the elf-thing, either. She'd tried to ask Melora gently, but the girl had looked terribly uncomfortable and Merrill had changed the subject. "I don't know... Maybe things are different here?" She didn't really believe that, and it showed. She shook her head. "She seems nervous to talk about it. I didn't want to push her."

Merrill was a bit nervous, herself. The way Melora acted made her think there was something wrong about what happened. She couldn't imagine herself being unfaithful to Anders and Hawke. She would have wanted an elf child if she was going to have one, yes, but she wouldn't hurt Hawke or Anders to do it.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

kirkwallchamp
2011-08-27 05:37 pm UTC (link)

Hawke shook her head. "This world might be insane, but I don't think it can rewrite things like that..."

However they figured it out, she was sure it wouldn't be in a way that caused problems between them. That just wasn't in them. "It's not like there aren't male elves here. Maybe... maybe this place has a way of figuring it out that doesn't involve actual... contact."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

little_elf_lost
2011-08-27 06:11 pm UTC (link)

Merrill made a face when Hawke mentioned 'contact'. That was an awful thing to think about. Zevran would be quick to volunteer, no doubt, but it felt a little too much like the stories she'd heard about the Blooming Rose, and that made her uncomfortable. Alim had helped her before, and she considered him a friend, but that would just be strange. And Fenris... Well, that would never happen.

"I don't know. Maybe we adopted her?" She didn't really get that impression, though. She sighed. "Do you think Anders is upset?"

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

kirkwallchamp
2011-08-27 08:53 pm UTC (link)

Truth be told, Hawke would sooner kill Zevran than let him touch Merrill, and she knew Fenris would rather jump off a cliff than get involved with anything even remotely magical... why did most of the elves in this universe have to be special?

"I think Anders is confused. In his universe, he was with that male me, so... the issue of children obviously didn't have a reason to come up," it was still very weird to think of. And confusing. "Must've never crossed his mind, even after coming here."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

little_elf_lost
2011-08-28 09:13 pm UTC (link)

Merrill nodded. It made sense for Anders to be confused. It was a bit of a relief, too. Confused was better than angry. Merrill was worried Anders would feel betrayed by her having a child with someone else in the future. It was all very confusing. "It might be nice to have children, though, don't you think?" It sort of solidified a family unit, in a way. She smiled.

She looked up at Hawke. "Are you angry with me?" she asked, a little worried. Hawke didn't seem upset, but Hawke had a way of comforting Merrill. She might not realize if Hawke was upset.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

kirkwallchamp
2011-08-28 09:42 pm UTC (link)

"It's nice thought..." once Hawke got past the initial oddness, it was certainly an idea she could adjust to. Even if she still kept having moments of severely doubting she could ever be anything close to a good parent. Especially considering her idea of diplomacy sometimes amounted to 'punch first, ask questions later', which probably didn't translate well to parenting.

She shook her head. "I couldn't be angry with you if I tried, over anything... and really, right here, I don't have any reason to be." Not that she was aware of, anyway. It wasn't like Merrill had done anything.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

little_elf_lost
2011-08-28 11:48 pm UTC (link)

Merrill smiled, relieved. "Oh, good," she said, slipping her fingers between Hawke's. It was silly for Merrill to feel guilty about something like this. She would stop worrying about it as long as Anders and Hawke didn't seem worried.

"I like them. Stefan seems like he'll be a good leader, like you." Merrill adored the both of them. She was so curious, and every little thing she learned about them was a thrill for her. "And I can't believe how much Melora knows about the Dalish! I may run out of things to teach her."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

kirkwallchamp
2011-08-29 01:17 am UTC (link)

Maker, Hawke loved it when Merrill had moments like this. Whenever she got enthusiastic about something - which apparently even extended to future children - she was far too adorable. She smiled, gently squeezing her hand. "Merrill, you know everything about the Dalish. I bet there's still a lot for her to learn."

It was pretty obvious that the both of them knew quite a bit about the Elven side of their heritage. At least when it came to the language. "I keep occasionally hearing them speaking Elvish. Don't understand a word, but... it's interesting. Bet it was useful when they were at school."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

little_elf_lost
2011-08-29 06:33 pm UTC (link)

Merrill's eyes sparkled when Hawke mentioned the language. "I know! Isn't it wonderful? I don't think I've heard a human speak Elvish before--at least, not so fluently!" The thought of a human learning Elvish hadn't really crossed her mind before. The Dalish tended to be very wary of outsiders, so it wasn't typically taught to humans back home. It was an elf thing; humans weren't really invited.

"I could teach you some, if you wanted." Merrill hadn't thought anyone would really be interested in learning a language no one else here spoke. Even the other elves here didn't know much Elvish. But now!

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

kirkwallchamp
2011-08-29 10:19 pm UTC (link)

It'd surprised Hawke to begin with. There were the occasional words and phrases she'd picked up during her dealings with Merrill's clan, but nothing to the level that Stefan could obviously speak. "Could come in handy to know a little... Anders might appreciate it too, for when they're helping at the clinic."

Well, it could come in handy. Sometimes, it seemed like communicating in Elvish made things a little quicker, and the clinic was probably a place where that was very useful.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

little_elf_lost
2011-08-30 03:49 am UTC (link)

"As long as the patients don't think they're gossiping about them." After traveling outside her clan, Merrill had become more conscientious about others. It didn't seem polite to speak Elvish around people who couldn't understand. Plenty of people in her clan wouldn't have had a problem with it, but Keeper Marethari had emphasized Merrill learning to deal with outsiders.

She smiled. "I'd like to teach you some," she said, blushing. It was flattering, in a way, that Hawke wanted to learn more.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

kirkwallchamp
2011-08-30 11:49 am UTC (link)

Well, yes, there was that. It wasn't something that Hawke had much encountered - other than English, all she really knew were tiny bits of Elvish and Qunari, and even then not really enough to hold conversations.

Mostly just enough to swear at people, if she was entirely honest.

"Just forgive me if I stumble over the words a little," that was said with a smile. Something about that blush was always a little too endearing. "I'm sure you're going to be an amazing teacher..."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

little_elf_lost
2011-08-31 12:18 am UTC (link)

Merrill giggled, really pleased about this. Hawke hadn't ever seemed disinterested in Dalish matters, but back in Kirkwall there had been a lot of other things that needed her attention. She didn't exactly have hours to spend getting history or language lessons.

"Of course! I don't expect you to be perfect." Even if she probably would be, because Hawke was amazing at everything. "I'm just excited you want to learn at all."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

kirkwallchamp
2011-08-31 12:59 am UTC (link)

Sometimes, making Qunari cry for their mothers came first. Hawke'd had her interested moments, but there'd never been a peaceful moment in Kirkwall - the moment one threat disappeared, another appeared. And the endless events the Champion got dragged to... all of that being gone meant that she had a lot of free time. More than she was ever really used to having.

"You're allowed to laugh at me if I say something really wrong," and she was sure she would, somehow. Languages had never been her forte. "I'd be able to take it. Wouldn't ruin my pride."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	little_elf_lost 2011-08-31 02:01 am UTC (link)
	Merrill smiled, trying to picture Hawke saying something silly. "All right. If you say something really strange, I might giggle." "I wonder if Anders will want to.. I know he's busy at the clinic.." Maybe that was part of why he seemed so stressed lately, too. Merrill worried a bit for Anders. "We should surprise him with lunch today!" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

kirkwallchamp
2011-08-31 02:39 am UTC (link)

Hawke had never liked the idea of Anders overworking himself. In her own world, she'd lost count of the number of times she'd have to go to Darktown and drag him back to the estate, just so he would sleep. Yes, it was more dangerous when Justice was still part of him, but there was still something inherently wrong about him working all hours.

"I think he'd like that," if anything, it'd take his mind off things for a little while. "And it'll get us out of Varric's way for a while, just in case he wants to be... weird and do body shots in the kitchen again."

Yes, that had traumatised her slightly.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

little_elf_lost
2011-09-01 05:33 pm UTC (link)

Merrill made a face at the mention of body shots. She had gotten used to the idea of Varric and Lois, and had finally accepted that Lois wasn't actually a maid, but it was still a strange mental image. She couldn't imagine doing that with Hawke. "It just seems so sticky!" It was Varric's kitchen, though.

Merrill stood up, pulling Hawke toward the door by the hand. "Let's go find him lunch. I smelled something really good near a restaurant earlier.. I wonder if I can find it again. It was close to where I found the bird! Maybe we can find Anders a little cat to go with it." She hummed happily to herself as she led Hawke along.

(Reply to this) (Parent)