"You're such a fucking liar, Pickles," she thought to him as she watched him disappear into the bathroom. He was going to take forfuckingever. But hey. She was God. She could wait. What the fuck else was she going to do?
Besides, it gave her a few minutes to wank off. Man, it was good to be a guy. She'd forgotten how incredibly fun a penis was. After she was done, she poofed away the mess and tucked herself back into her jeans.
Mentally, she said to him, "Come on man, you take longer than a drag queen. Hurry up and get your ass out here."