Tweak

InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Prepare for trouble!"

Yamamura Sadako was mankind's end. (wheniamqueen) wrote in utr_logs,
@ 2010-06-06 18:04:00

Entry tags:

cassidy turner, sadako yamamura

Who: Sadako Yamamura and Cassidy Turner.
What: Planning a resurrection.
When: Sunday afternoon.
Where: Casa del Wolfpack.
Warnings: Swearing and squicky talk, but that's all.

His request was one that made sense to her, and she was willing to comply. Cassidy was family, Toki's grandson, and she'd grown fond of him outside her work obligations. After informing Sweeney of her plan, she slipped on her shoes and hailed a taxi that would take her to Cassidy's. He lived too close to portkey, but the day was too warm to walk.

After a few moments, she arrived at Cassidy's home, slipping in through the unlocked front door and removing her shoes in the foyer. She moved to the kitchen and started to prepare herself a cup of tea.

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1stbornextreme
2010-06-06 11:10 pm UTC (link)

Cassidy was already in the kitchen, as luck would have it, and was working on heating water for tea, himself. He wasn't looking his usual chipper self, and really hadn't since the accident. He'd been working on getting through school and doing very little else, because he knew he couldn't do much else. Physically, everything focused on his hip, and it ripped him up inside not to be as active, and it terrified him that he'd be like this forever.

He smiled to her, however, and offered up a plate of cookies. "Hi. Thanks for showing up. I'm glad there's something that can be done. Maybe. I know it's hard for you to do anything for me, but if this takes, that should be completely different, shouldn't it?"

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	wheniamqueen 2010-06-06 11:14 pm UTC (link)
	"I might even be able to do something while you're within me. It's easier when you're fetal." She smiled and accepted a cookie, nibbling daintily. "I think I can manage, actually. I'm sorry I didn't think of this before." (Reply to this)

1stbornextreme
2010-06-06 11:24 pm UTC (link)

"Don't apologize, I needed this, I think," Cassidy murmured as he moved to fetch the hot water and pour it into the cups set out, setting in the tea eggs directly after. "Sugar, honey, cream?" He asked.

"Still, it would be nice to have my own body back. Move on from it. All this is," Cass pointed to his hip as he favored his good leg to move around, "is a literally painful reminder of shit that I've done wrong, and it's consumed me. I would have rather had them amputate, some days." He poured a bit of honey into his own cup, and stirred it gently, before taking a seat. "I... just hope it does take. Since I won't ask a deity, and I'd rather be dead than trapped, dragging people down with me."

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wheniamqueen
2010-06-06 11:30 pm UTC (link)

Swinging her legs, she smiled impishly at him. "Nothing for me, thank you." She liked the bitter.

"We'll know in a few hours, then." She smiled demurely, chuckling at herself. It was an odd thing to conceive a child in the room with someone she wasn't touching, and it struck her as funny. "You can tell people you got me pregnant while you made tea. Or not, since Soren and Sweeney would likely find that unsavory."

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1stbornextreme
2010-06-06 11:38 pm UTC (link)

Cass chuckled faintly and shook his head, "I'm just that good," He said, with less conviction than he usually reserved for such things. "I'll probably stay alive until I'm... born. Odd as that sounds. Just to make sure I'm not stillborn or something equally bad. I refuse to give myself over to the distinct possibility of a very final death. I wouldn't do that to Soren or Henn. Not to mention the rest of my family and friends." He sighed faintly and shook his head.

"Since we'll be at Mordhaus, there's plenty of ways for me to throw off this mortal coil once I have word that I'm through the hard part. I'm considering asking Gaz or Teja to do that. Gaz in particular, though. She won't feel guilty. Teja's wanted to for ages, though, so... really, it's one versus the other. Either way, I'm zombie food."

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wheniamqueen
2010-06-06 11:54 pm UTC (link)

Sadako gave him a look for a moment, mouth puckered into a line, eyebrow raised. "Why would you be stillborn - oh, yes. That wouldn't happen with me, Cassidy. But I understand your apprehension. I can assure you, I only want to do this once for you as well." She hated being reborn, it took a while, and it was always achy.

Blinking at the idea of her son killing Cassidy, she shrugged a shoulder. "I wasn't aware you two had quite that much animosity." She sipped her tea, finding it fully steeped. "Do you have any questions for what comes after that?"

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1stbornextreme
2010-06-07 12:00 am UTC (link)

"No, I know what comes after, you explained it to me before, I believe. I eat your dead body, I grow at a rapid pace back to the age I was when you took the genetic data, to the moment, I'd assume, roughly 3.8 years a day, and I'll be back to what... to what I am. Minus scars, physical changes to my appearance such as my tattoos and piercings, and probably also my hair. Not sure how you managed that, you did change that on the genetic level." He shrugged.

"I just don't want to put my family out, I'm sure you understand. I'm not afraid to die. I'm afraid what death would do to them." He smiled and took her hand into his own, kissing it gently.

"Thank you, Sadako."

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	wheniamqueen 2010-06-07 12:04 am UTC (link)
	"You'll have your hair and some of your scars." She was impressed at her planning, and she smiled to herself. This was more than just genetics growing within her. It was her canvas. She considered this a work of art. It was her gift. Beaming at the kiss to her hand, she smiled at him. "You'll be fine. Better than fine, you'll be new again. Pretty hair and all." (Reply to this)

	1stbornextreme 2010-06-07 12:08 am UTC (link)
	"You're an amazing woman, Sadako," Cassidy said with a chuckle, holding her hand still. "You don't have to do this, but you do. It's a blessing to have you in our family." (Reply to this)

	wheniamqueen 2010-06-07 12:11 am UTC (link)
	"I do it because I can. You'd help me move house if you could, so why wouldn't I do this for you?" She squeezed his hand, feeling close to him. "I'm just glad I have a family at all." (Reply to this)

1stbornextreme
2010-06-07 12:15 am UTC (link)

He chuckled faintly, "I'd move heavy things for you, sure. Just remember that, next time you need to move." He couldn't help but feel a little more at ease with her just then, than he ever had before. She truly was family, but he spent a lot of his life worried about her.

"I always had you all wrong. You're not half as terrifying as I let myself believe. I'm sorry I felt that way for so long."

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wheniamqueen
2010-06-07 12:17 am UTC (link)

"People seem to think that about me," she shrugged. It had long stopped bothering her. "Even when I was human, only then it was because of my body, because of my mother. Now it's because of what I did. But honestly, I doubt many people would've done differently if they could have. Just most people don't have my skillset." She sipped her tea and smiled at Cassidy. "I'm darker than you, but there's a lot of light now. You all help."

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1stbornextreme
2010-06-07 12:27 am UTC (link)

"Darker than me, right," Cass huffed, shaking his head. "Sometimes I have to question that. After all that's happened, after all that shit I caused, I can't help but wonder where I fucked up and took a wrong turn. It's been nothing but one bad decision after another for the past two years. Sure, there's been two very good decisions in that, but does that really justify my other actions? It's enough where I almost considered staying this way just to make up for it. What wins out is my selfish need to be mobile, though."

He shook his head. "You were justified in your actions. The world had slighted you, so you returned the favor. Eye for an eye, right? Me, I just... want what I want."

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	wheniamqueen 2010-06-07 12:36 am UTC (link)
	"What have you done that you think is so bad?" She blinked and cocked her head to the side and blinked at him. "What's so bad about wanting what you want?" (Reply to this)

1stbornextreme
2010-06-07 12:57 am UTC (link)

"I ruined Sable, Sadako." Cass murmured. "I told her ages back some things that weren't exactly true before, but sure as hell are true now. She's become that person I told her she was. I know that sounds melodramatic, but it's... rather uncanny. I can't even tell her to her face because she'll take it as some sort of attack." He shook his head. "I tore my dad and uncle apart with it. I feel like a lot of what happened that's made this family not work lately has been my fault, and... and I just can't stop spiraling down." He sighed and took another sip of his tea. "But beyond that, I don't have any way of fixing it, either. Not like I am, at least."

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wheniamqueen
2010-06-07 01:04 am UTC (link)

Sadako rolled her eyes. "You're a green haired clown and a selfish twat. Oh, look, you're not doing anything. Words have power, true, but only as much as we allow them to have. If someone said Sweeney was stepping out on me, I wouldn't believe them. Is it one of my fears? Yes. Will I grant those words power? No. Blame yourself for your callousness, but do not blame yourself for her weakness."

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1stbornextreme
2010-06-07 01:10 am UTC (link)

"I broke her down to that level in the first place," Cass pointed out. "I suppose it was half subconscious, and half because I was so incredibly jealous. Soren's mine. She continued dicking me over in that regard. I regret it now, but at the time, I would have done damn near anything to make things work out or make things as they are now, at least as far as the relationship is concerned. And I still think she was just fucking around with Henn." He shook his head. "It should be ancient history but fuckin' hell, it's what made me so low. Made me what I am."

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wheniamqueen
2010-06-07 01:13 am UTC (link)

"You fought to protect what you love. While your conduct might not have been what you wish it'd been, she could've walked away and recognized it for the unhealthy situation it was. She didn't have to stay, and she didn't have to spiral into whatever she is. The state she's in now - it takes a certain amount of self-loathing to enter. You're familiar with that, Cassidy. And no one person can ruin another outside of murder. Where's her fight? She didn't have to lay down and take it." Sadako sipped some more tea. "And when did I start giving sensible advice?"

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1stbornextreme
2010-06-07 01:20 am UTC (link)

"Just about five seconds ago," Cass said, running his gloved hand through his hair.

"Self loathing runs so thick in this family, I don't know why. I hope it doesn't pass down. All I've ever done is wished I was something else. Less mad, less ugly, I've destroyed myself in so many ways it's ridiculous that anyone considers me a decent person, much less wants to spend their life with me. I hope it doesn't pass down. I know that's nothing that can be helped, but I can pray." He squeezed her hand again and chuckled. "It's not just me. It's dad, and uncle M, and Sable... We're all fucked up. All of us."

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	wheniamqueen 2010-06-07 01:23 am UTC (link)
	"So stop. Realize that most of the things you're insecure about and beat yourself up for aren't your fault. And you're not ugly, you're absolutely stunning. I know." She daintily wiped her hands on a napkin, smiling to herself. (Reply to this)

1stbornextreme
2010-06-07 01:33 am UTC (link)

"My brain, Sadako," He explained. "There's that little irrational, misfiring part of my brain that runs the course of self-destruction via compulsion. I know, I know I'm not ugly or fat, but it's tapes that run. And they're loud." He tugged on the edges of his gloves, and shook his head. "I wish I could stop, but I can't. Realizing is one thing, but drowning out the obsessive compulsions? That's impossible."

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	wheniamqueen 2010-06-07 01:37 am UTC (link)
	"I could smack you?" She giggled and ruffled his hair, amused entirely by her joke. (Reply to this)

	1stbornextreme 2010-06-07 01:42 am UTC (link)
	"I'm rather afraid it doesn't quite help," Cass said with a lopsided smile, "and besides, that's Henn's job." He finished his tea and offered her a little smile. "If you need anything in the next week, let me know. I've got things I need to do. Like take photos of my tattoos so Artan can redo them, and... I don't know. Wait patiently for death." (Reply to this)

	wheniamqueen 2010-06-07 01:44 am UTC (link)
	"You'll be fine." She kissed his cheek. "The photos are a good idea. Make sure you have child care for while you're small. You'll have your mental faculties, but you'll find it hard to reach things." She spoke from experience. (Reply to this)

	1stbornextreme 2010-06-07 01:47 am UTC (link)
	"I will." He kissed her cheek in turn and walked her to the door, using his cane to do so, and sighed. So. Seven days. He could manage that. (Reply to this)