Sable lets Lulu order, saying nothing, then pulls her feet up on the chair and wraps her arms around them loosely when the waiter leaves again.
"I want him to be happy. I knew... I knew... he never really could be with me. I want him to still be my friend. He's never done anything wrong to me and I hope I never have to him... but we can't be partners. We just can't. I think... I really wanted it to work, I really wanted him to be the right one, because I've really missed having SOMEONE. I sometimes feel like my whole life has been nothing but this spiral of loving someone I can't have and then dealing with not having him and then dealing with everyone not approving of my being upset about that and then people being paranoid that I'm going to try to get him back or something... And the truth is, I'm really finally over Soren. I know we could never have worked as a couple. I wasn't ever really happy there, I've thought about our issues, but somehow... for some reason... I can't stop loving him. And in a much quieter way, I can't stop loving and wanting Teja. But they've found their soulmates, Teja's had a child, and even though I was first with both of them, I'm never the one that stays. I'm never the right one for anyone."
She sighs and plays with her hair. "You know what I want? I want a baby. I want to be a mother. I want Soren or Teja to be their father, even if they never have anything to do with my babies' lives. I know that's not realistic, but it's what I want. And I want someone to be able to fall in love with me and stay there, even though I'm odd and bossy and don't belong to this world in so many ways."