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Tweak says, "Cowboy Hat!"

Ellen Fanshaw (

dame_ellen) wrote in

utr_logs,
@ 2009-12-07 10:01:00

Give me my robe, put on my crown; I have immortal longings in me
Who: Ellen Fanshaw and Geoffrey Tennant
What: Something bearing only the slightest resemblance to domestic bliss
Where: Luton, England
When: Monday morning
Warnings: Ellen and Geoffrey swear as easily as breathing.

Ellen has decided to get healthy. It's been 5 weeks, 6 days, and 2 hours since her last cigarette, and she feels fine. Really. After all, cigarettes stain the teeth and ruin the voice ... not to mention what they can do to her skin tone and fingernails.

Healthy. She's even starting to like those disgusting concoctions the previous owner had left in his stainless-steel refrigerator. At least she still likes alcohol. Alcohol's healthy now, isn't it? Red wine is good for the heart, and beer is ... beer.

But diet and tobacco cessation are not enough, especially now that they have a theatre (if the damned finicky real estate agent is finished with his deliberately confusing paperwork, not to mention the contractors, who probably think they're paid to stand around looking good when they are not), and soon they will have a company. Other actors. Thank Christ.

Only, not until she's finished getting healthy. And so, this morning, as part of her resolution to become a better, healthier, ~~younger-looking~~ all-around improved Ellen Fanshaw, she puts a special DVD into the player hooked up to the enormous flatscreen TV.

Goddamned fucking remote has too many fucking buttons. Damned thing should just work. I hate television and all its technology.

"It's time to SELF TRIM AND TONE FAST!" blares from the speakers.

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