"Is it wrong that if I'm here, I really don't want anyone from back home to show up?" Except maybe Ruthie, but no. He didn't want Ruthie to see what he'd become. He wanted to be able to check in on her, keep watch over her, but he didn't' want her to know he was there. Better, then, if she didn't come to this place, this world, whatever it was. Ruthie was way better off without him, and even though he loved her more than he could ever love anyone, he was pretty sure they both knew they were better off far, far away from each other.