"She fixes everything but her own behavior, it seems. I have no patience when it comes to certain things - not because I don't want to, mind, but because my brain won't allow me that luxury. But when it comes to how I live, she tries to make things 'better', by moving things around, or leaving things out... Just the other night, she and Soren were arguing, for example. And I truly didn't mean to eavesdrop, but I can't help it when things are that passionate. Soren hit a window and broke his knuckles, and instead of dealing with the argument at hand, knowing well that Soren is fully capable of ignoring the most ridiculous things including pain, and can heal himself besides, she tried to shift the conversation and mend him. And then she tried to get him to take sympathy on her for no reason." He sighed petulantly, recalling the vivid emotion of exasperation and anger he felt when she refused to listen to anything that Soren said. It reminded him that everything he'd ever said to Sable had gone unheard and unheeded. It reminded him that as often as she said she was trying, that her actions showed nothing to that end.
"It makes perfect sense. Soren assures me that these are just growing pains of the relationship. That this is necessary to move on and move forward, and to make things better for all of us. And I'm not trying to paint myself as faultless, I know quite well that my own anger towards my cousin has a great deal to do with what's going on. I suppose I am a bit of a fatalist. I'm always seeing how things will go wrong, or could go wrong, and I'm always bracing myself for that moment when the shit will hit the fan. And I always wind up blaming myself for it, because when it does happen, I always say, 'I should have known how to prevent this.' Truth is, I don't ever know how to prevent things. All I ever know, all I've ever known, is how to fix things when they're broken, not to prevent breaking in the first place."
He stubbed the cigarette out in the grass, before rolling the tobacco out of the butt, and pocketing the remainder, so he could throw it away when he got home. "That was a mouthful. I'm sorry."