InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "death doesn't sell tickets"

Sir Integral Hellsing (monstermaster) wrote in utr_logs,
@ 2009-04-05 19:43:00

Entry tags:

kon-el, sir integral hellsing

Who: Kon and Integral
What: talking about things
Where: their home
When: dinner time
Warnings: frank discussion of sex and relationships.

Integral sighed as she set out the plates for dinner, eying the timer she'd set up for the lasagna. It was a sign of how agitated she was. She'd skipped work that day to make it by hand, needing to do something outside of her normal comfort zone.

She peered in on it, after she'd set the table, nodding in satisfaction. Now she just had to wait for it to finish, and for Kon to arrive.

(Post a new comment)

	superstrange 2009-04-05 10:31 pm UTC (link)
	Kon landed on the balcony and quickly changed into an evening outfit of shorts and a shirt, then moved inside to see if Integral was indeed home. She slipped out and smiled softly. "Hey, How goes it?" She knew something was up. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	monstermaster 2009-04-05 10:34 pm UTC (link)
	Integral gave Kon a tight smile. "Hey. Sorry for being so dramatic on the message board, but I've spent most of the day quite flustered." She went to the oven to check on the lasagna again. "How have you been?" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	superstrange 2009-04-05 10:49 pm UTC (link)
	She smiled, and blinked, coming closer. "Are you okay? And I have been good. Just doing my thing, you know?" She didn't like to make much of her , well, what she saw as her job. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	monstermaster 2009-04-05 10:56 pm UTC (link)
	Integral set the lasagna down and hugged Kon. She didn't realize until then that she was shaking a little. Part of her wished, for a moment, that she had simply remained a virgin. "I am alright. Nothing has gone wrong. I'm sorry to have interrupted." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	superstrange 2009-04-05 11:03 pm UTC (link)
	Kon hugged Integral back and smiled a little, gently rubbing the other woman's back. "Hey... I am never sorry to see someone I care about. You are a very dear friend, and someone I am glad to have here, in my life. So when you call, I come." Now she knew something was wrong. She pulled back a little. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

monstermaster
2009-04-05 11:19 pm UTC (link)

Integral sat at the table, and motioned for Kon to do the same. "Still, I know what you do is important, and I normally wouldn't call you away from it."

She sighed, then sat up straight, steeling herself. "You're aware that the vampire Alucard is here. You're also aware that I share a rather long history with him. He has become human, due to the superpower thing that happened."

Just facts. Start with the hard evidence. "You are a wonderful companion, and an incredible lover. I wish that our lives were less insane, because I would have enjoyed sharing a deeper relationship with you. However, our lives are what they are. We cannot really change that. Alucard's being human takes away the reason we held back from each other. I don't know his feelings on the matter. I try to avoid talking to him about it, honestly. But I cannot in good conscience continue a physical relationship if I may choose, somewhere down the line, to be with another person."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

superstrange
2009-04-06 10:27 am UTC (link)

Kon nodded as she sat, eyes on Integral, listening.

"I know. What is on your mind?"

She listened, and canted her head, a feeling of sadness and of understanding coming over her. Damn.

She nodded after Integral spoke, and she gathered her thoughts before speaking.

"When will you talk to him? Or... do you want to ah, set things aside with us, first?"

She tried to be diplomatic, really, but there was not a real easy way to say it.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

monstermaster
2009-04-06 10:35 am UTC (link)

"I will speak with him." Her tone was soft. "I also don't want to spend my time pondering something that may not even be relevant."

She sighed, shaking her head. "But I doubt that you'll have any reason to continue to pursue a relationship with me after this, anyway. I do not know what I want, and have not really proven to be handling any of this terribly well. I suppose I shouldn't have even tried until I was more mature."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	superstrange 2009-04-06 11:14 am UTC (link)
	Kon arched an eyebrow. "Hey... you aren't doing anything wrong." She nodded. "I am not going anywhere, okay? You figure out what you want, and I am still going to be here." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	monstermaster 2009-04-06 11:18 am UTC (link)
	"I could hardly as you for that." Her tone was more crips, but only because she was severely out of her element. "I'm sorry for all this." She hung her head a bit, her hair sliding down to cover her face like a curtain. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	superstrange 2009-04-06 04:54 pm UTC (link)
	Kon blinked "And you didn't ask. I stated." She poked Integral. "I do understand. I wont deny it is a shock, but... sometimes you cvan;t cotnrol what your life does, especially here." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	monstermaster 2009-04-07 01:20 am UTC (link)
	"I wish you wouldn't, though. I would hate for you to feel as though you had to wait for me to make up my mind. I don't even know if I have any left to make up." Her voice was sardonic, but there was a bit of truth in it. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	superstrange 2009-04-07 10:07 am UTC (link)
	Kon poked her again. "You are a smart, and strong woman. You've been thrown a huge load to think about, and haven't figured it out yet. So give yourself time, okay?" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	monstermaster 2009-04-07 01:27 pm UTC (link)
	She nodded, somehow without looking up. "This is all harder than I thought it would be." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	superstrange 2009-04-07 02:58 pm UTC (link)
	Kon hugged her tight,and smiled softly. "You are a good woman, and you will conquer this. Just hold on and do not give up on anythign you want for true." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	monstermaster 2009-04-07 03:01 pm UTC (link)
	Kon's hug was too much, and soon Integral was clinging to the other woman, sobbing heavily. She was confused and angry, and this all hurt so much! Why was something so wonderful so very painful? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	superstrange 2009-04-07 03:02 pm UTC (link)
	Kon stroked Integral's back and hair, holding her close, and smiled sadly. This sucked, and she did not know what to do. All she could do is hold her friend. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	monstermaster 2009-04-08 12:49 am UTC (link)
	Integral cried for a very long time. After a while she simply sat in Kon's arm, feeling weak and ridiculous. "I'm sorry." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	superstrange 2009-04-08 08:13 pm UTC (link)
	Kon cocked her head. "For what? You've done nothing wrong. I've cried before, we all have. It's part of being human." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	monstermaster 2009-04-08 10:43 pm UTC (link)
	"For being confused. For getting into something I didn't understand. For things being the way they are." The crying was embarrassing, but not horrible. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	superstrange 2009-04-08 11:55 pm UTC (link)
	Kon hugged her again. "Not your fault. Life happens." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	monstermaster 2009-04-09 12:26 am UTC (link)
	She hugged Kon back, shivering a little. "I made lasagna. If you're not hungry I can put it in the fridge. It reheats well." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	superstrange 2009-04-09 12:32 am UTC (link)
	"I would love some." She nodded, smiling and stroking Integral's back. "Could you get me some on a plate?" She bounced a little. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	monstermaster 2009-04-09 12:20 pm UTC (link)
	Integral nodded and went over to the table she'd set, grabbing a spatula. "How big a slice do you want?" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	superstrange 2009-04-09 12:39 pm UTC (link)
	Kon shaped a piece with her hands as she smiled, and followed. "Thank you. It smells good." She bounced and settled at a chair. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	monstermaster 2009-04-09 01:21 pm UTC (link)
	Integral cut the piece easily enough, but when it came to lifting it onto Kon's plate, she wasn't as steady. Crying always upset her, and her hands shook badly. The piece slid off the spatula and back onto the rest of the lasagna. She sighed in frustration. "Perhaps you had better do it." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	superstrange 2009-04-09 02:01 pm UTC (link)
	Kon stepped up behind her and hugged her and gently shook her head. "You can do it. Just breathe, and relax. I believe in you." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	monstermaster 2009-04-09 02:08 pm UTC (link)
	She did her best to relax, and started again, this time making it onto the plate, though just barely. She hated how weak she felt. Nothing was worse than that. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	superstrange 2009-04-09 04:26 pm UTC (link)
	http://asylums.insanejournal.com/utr_logs/441352.html?thread=20559880#t20559880 (Reply to this) (Parent)

	superstrange 2009-04-09 04:25 pm UTC (link)
	Kon watched with a sad smile that she then cast away. She would find a way to help Integral, somehow. Somehow. She hugged Integral again. "Thank you." (Reply to this) (Thread)

	monstermaster 2009-04-09 05:54 pm UTC (link)
	Integral returned Kon's hug, and served herself a much smaller piece, since she wasn't terribly hungry. She'd just, kind of, broken up with her first, sort of, boy/girlfriend. Her life was too damn weird. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	superstrange 2009-04-09 11:26 pm UTC (link)
	Kon ate, and smiled a little at Integral. "I am glad you felt like you could be honest with me. All too many people would have avoided it. Thank you." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	monstermaster 2009-04-10 07:05 pm UTC (link)
	"I'm glad that you're not angry. I would not want to hurt you, Kon. I value you, and the friendship we have more than anything else." She gave Kon a small smile. "I would not do anything to endanger it." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	superstrange 2009-04-10 07:11 pm UTC (link)
	"I'm not angry, or hurt. I like you, maybe even a lot, but we are friends far more than anything else, and I like that far more." She traced a hand over Integral's arm. "Thank you." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	monstermaster 2009-04-10 08:44 pm UTC (link)
	"Beside, I think you're my first female friend." She gave Kon a slight smile. "I tend to come across too strongly for most of them." Always them. She never really thought of herself as female. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	superstrange 2009-04-10 09:01 pm UTC (link)
	"Thank you." She hugged Integral again. "I always think of you as one hell of a woman." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	monstermaster 2009-04-11 09:37 pm UTC (link)
	Integral laughed a little. "It's funny, I don't think of myself as a woman at all." Even when she was biologically. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	superstrange 2009-04-11 09:53 pm UTC (link)
	Kon nodded, smiling sympathetically. "I was the same way for awhile. Just be who you feel best as, even if it means finding a new gender to fit who you have always been." Kon was very sex-positive. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	monstermaster 2009-04-11 11:17 pm UTC (link)
	"Thank you. You are a wonderful friend, Kon. Would you like to come to a concert with me next week? I was invited by another charity to speak at the banquet after the concert, and that included two free tickets." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	superstrange 2009-04-11 11:29 pm UTC (link)
	Kon smiled and hugged her close. "Sure! That sounds like fun. Do you want a female, or a male Kon for it?" She winked. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	monstermaster 2009-04-11 11:47 pm UTC (link)
	"Whichever makes you most comfortable. I'll be going as a man, since my company is run by a man, but other than that, I simply require you to be there." She nodded, and began to eat, feeling much better already. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	superstrange 2009-04-11 11:50 pm UTC (link)
	Kon smiled and ate, bouncing. "Then I will be a woman, and bounce along with you." She smirked, well aware her bouncing was... interesting. "It sounds like fun, you know?" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	monstermaster 2009-04-12 12:07 am UTC (link)
	Integral laughed a little. "I will be the luckiest man there, regardless. I do hope it is fun." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	superstrange 2009-04-12 12:18 am UTC (link)
	She smiled. "Even if we just get to snark about it, it will be fun being with you." She nodded to Integral. "Being somewhere with a friend is nice." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	monstermaster 2009-04-12 12:27 am UTC (link)
	"Indeed." Her smile was more sincere, and the shaking had long since stopped. If this was the most she would have with Kon, she could easily live with that forever. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	superstrange 2009-04-12 12:32 am UTC (link)
	Kon ate, and was happy. (Reply to this) (Parent)