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msauce ([info]merope) wrote in [info]utr_logs,
@ 2009-04-03 20:40:00

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Entry tags:jonathan crane, merope gaunt

Who: Jonathan Crane & Merope Gaunt
Where: The asylum he's working at
Why: Because he's been a bad bastard Xd
When: A week after he had her thrown in.



Merope had made no progress since she'd been taken, her fear escalated and released throughout the day, becoming fearful of people and accepting. It was difficult as nurses had to come check on her every hour to see how she was doing, while her mind felt the same terror she felt at her own home. This situation of being tied down to her bed was similar to a situation that happened at her home, she couldn't help but feel frightened whenever she was touched.

She'd stopped eating on her own and was only taking proteins and nutrients from an IV, which wasn't exactly the best choice when eating would have been helpful.

Was she trying to kill herself silently? Oh yes.

At least she was better than yesterday, having suffered heart failure and needing to be resuscitated. Luckily, Merope was able to be somewhat stabilized with sedatives so her heart beat wouldn't start pounding so hard that she couldn't keep it under control. A sigh escaped her lips, she was not well, but was wide awake and tilted her head back and forth,"...All my fault, all my fault.." Merope hated not being able to hide somewhere.

She felt completely alone, more so than before.


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[info]mymask
2009-04-04 01:42 am UTC (link)
The institution had received a call from Dr. Crane about the patient Merope Gaunt, and had asked to do a session with her specifically. It'd taken him a week, but eventually they brought her into a plain white room with two white chairs and a white table. She would be seated and told to wait for the doctor. A camera in the upper corner of the room was watching her, being monitored from another room. Crane would enter with a brief case, staring at her in the doorway before sitting down with the door being shut and locked behind him. He laid his briefcase down on the table and watched her carefully for a minute before speaking.

"Hello Merope. Its been some time since we've spoken last. How are you feeling?" He was completely treating her like a patient, as though everything they'd shared never happened.

He was still filled with anger and sorrow about the entire ordeal. But he'd lied mostly about his relationship with her.

His gas was most likely the cause of her heart condition and extreme depression and fear now. He could see she was in a horrible state, no longer as good as she had been prior. But Dr. Crane hadn't much sympathy when he was crossed. Inside his briefcase was even his trademark mask and fear gas, ready to be used again if he felt the necessity to. His ire had been brought forth and it would be very hard for her to get past it.

His heart was cold and hard now, feeling no remorse for her. The bitterness of the past had been inflicted on him by what she said, he couldn't see her as anything different than Sherry.

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[info]merope
2009-04-04 02:09 am UTC (link)
The monitor near her was settled on her heart, the dull beating was there to make sure she was relaxed. It appeared that this place had been quite bad for her, she had no option but to sit there and deal with it, her face was that miserable expressionless gaze. Her eyes moved around while she was sitting there and she barely looked up when someone came into the room, her eyes focused on a scratch on the white table.

Jonathan's voice was alien to her, she didn't seem to find relaxation in it anymore. Merope barely looked up before lowering her eyes, remaining mostly unresponsive to anything that was said to her,"................." Merope knew that talking would do no good, nobody cared about her. It seemed that being in his presence caused her heart rate to rise slightly, but she physically did nothing else.

"....M.." She barely said.

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[info]mymask
2009-04-04 02:36 am UTC (link)
Johnathan watched her silently, still feeling cold inside. Her condition however actually was making him feel slightly bad. If nothing else, just a slight bit of humanity towards someone who was nice to him. Though he would clear his throat and adjust his glasses and try and forget such thoughts. Forgiveness may be devine, but the Scarecrow was not heavenly.

Her silence was something that he was actually bothered by. He liked being able to get her to speak to him, though it was only natural considering things. Clearing his throat again, he would speak again after she barely said anything. "I'm going to need you to speak with me, Merope. I'm trying to...help you here." Deep down Johnathan didn't feel like helping her one bit. He had no intention of doing so, but the thought of her possibly dying in this place did make him cringe a bit.

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[info]merope
2009-04-04 02:54 am UTC (link)
Merope didn't even look up at Jonathan, her eyes didn't deserve the feeling she would get had she looked at him. Her reclusive behaviour had been much worse than it ever had been,"....It's my fault, no point. It's my fault.." Merope repeated herself a few more times before growing silent, it seemed that she'd grown upset the more she spoke. At this point, she would have welcomed the company of her father and brother than this place.

Everything was her fault and she deserved this, she crossed her arms on the table and rested her head on top of her arms. Merope had this way about her that allowed her to look much smaller, much less threatening.

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[info]mymask
2009-04-04 03:30 am UTC (link)
Johnathan closed his eyes for a moment, seeing her beating herself up over the whole situation was making him feel good. However, showing such emotion while being recorded was a bad idea. Instead he sighed, opening his eyes again and watching her carefully, listening to her words. "Tell me what it is that is your fault, Merope. I'd like you to explain to me what the problem is." He acted as though he didn't know all ready.

Dr. Crane knew exactly what she was blaming herself for, and why. He of course inflicted this upon her. The back of his mind screamed at him 'She only loves Tom, she used you for your looks. She cares nothing for you.' To which he listened to at the moment.

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[info]merope
2009-04-04 03:51 am UTC (link)
Merope said little else,"...It's my fault. I am a bad person, it's my fault." She was starting to repeat herself again, she was unable to explain the situation really ad she reached forward and touched his hand, her eyes raising to his very briefly. Merope didn't know how to talk to him anymore, but he didn't seem interested in listening to her really and she knew this. "It's my fault." Merope had nothing else to say, his words had effected her so much that she found herself unable to think of anything else.

Gently, she retracted her hand, moved her arms back and rested her head on the desk so her ear was against the cold surface. Again, she was unresponsive as before.

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[info]mymask
2009-04-04 01:50 pm UTC (link)
Johnathan was beginning to grow a little irritated with her constant blabbering about how it was 'her fault'. He knew this but it was growing on his nerves, he had to appear to be trying to make progress with her. However, when she touched his hand he felt a jolt go through his entire body. Merope's touch...he hadn't felt that in what seemed like forever. Johnathan felt he didn't want it anymore, but her hand against his brought back memories of her, and started making him question things. He was conflicted more again, as he was previously.

When she retracted her hand, he reached his hand forward slightly and his mouth opened to say something, but he quickly pulled it back and closed his mouth. He had wanted to say something like 'Don't do that' but couldn't bring himself to. Clearing his throat again, he'd speak. "Merope, I need you to talk to me so I can help you." He said in his normal dull tone.

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[info]merope
2009-04-04 02:00 pm UTC (link)
Merope knew that he was angry with her and helping her didn't seem as important anymore. That was the only thing she could offer him as everything else didn't mean too much. Although, he seemed to keep pressuring her to talk, so she finally did,"...About what? I don't deserve help." Merope set there in her own despair, not really interested in talking about her problems anymore as she had put them on herself.

Once her cheek became too cold, she lifted her left hand and rested underneath her face to keep it slightly elevated from the table. "...Can I just go back to my room?" She frowned, unable to do anything other than go to her room, eat or be around other strange people.

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[info]mymask
2009-04-04 02:32 pm UTC (link)
He sighed a bit, leaning back in his chair as her words filled his mind. Yes, his anger was still there but her touching him had loosened him up a bit. "Well tell me why you don't deserve help." He asked with his dull, relaxing tone of voice. He had a feeling she'd start speaking of things he didn't really want the rest of the institution to know about, so he pretty soon Johnathan was planning on unplugging that camera so they can't see or hear what they're saying.

"Well, not yet. I need you to talk to me." He said, trying to sound helpful and caring though she knew he was mad and he knew that she knew. So he knew she would be hard-pressed to say much.

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[info]merope
2009-04-04 02:59 pm UTC (link)
The girl didn't say much of anything or really even want to look at him, she accepted whatever her fate was now. Usually, his dull relaxing tone would have relaxed her to a point of finding out her problems, but she couldn't focus on anything other than the situation at hand. "Because, I'm a bad person. Can I go now?" She looked at him now, sitting up, her eyes moving down to the IV in her arm that kept her from becoming too ill from not eating anything.

"Please? I don't know why you even came. You said I am insane and only bad people come here." Merope stared at Jonathan before lowering her eyes,"...You'll never let me leave...." She whispered just loud enough for Jonathan to hear her. Merope hated the beeping noise that let others know when she was becoming to stressed out, her heart throb was speeding up, as was her low breathing.

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[info]mymask
2009-04-05 02:49 am UTC (link)
Johnathan was silent for a bit, before sighing and standing up and knocking on the door. It opened and he whispered something to the security guards before moving to the camera and unplugging. Again, the door shut and locked and he sat back down. Clearing his throat, he would speak again. "I was very angry with you. With what you said. It was a betrayal to me." Her touch had somewhat loosened him up enough to speak to her like this.

"I came...I don't even know why I came honestly. You...you're not a bad person. Sick people come here." He looked down, seemingly ashamed a bit of saying bad people come here, not really thinking what she did was deserving of her being on the verge of heart failure. "I can...I mean...I could always let you leave..." He muttered, coughing a bit and looking away before looking back to her. "Why would you treat me the way you did, but call me Tom? It seems like you used me."

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[info]merope
2009-04-05 03:22 am UTC (link)
Merope couldn't ease up, she just watched his lanky form and how he gracefully moved to the door, then back to her. Once the camera was unplugged, she kept her gaze on him as started speaking again. "..I..I just never loved anyone other than Tom. He was the person I wanted and...it was like..I was given another chance with Tom, but you aren't him." Merope's heart started to race underneath his stressful questions while trying to remain honest.

"I did care about you, but I messed up." She moved her hand over her heart, rubbing the pounding in hopes of settling the monitor.

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[info]mymask
2009-04-06 02:03 am UTC (link)
His fist balled up with her words, his knuckles crackling as he did so. Hearing those words made him feel angry, though he could see she was clearly confused and not well. His tone sounded harsh, but Johnathan would speak anyway. "No...I am not Tom. You should not treat me like Tom." He said in a bit of a cold voice, though sighed and unclenched his fist. "But its...understanding. I can look past that."

He stopped and closed his eyes, sighing again before speaking. "Caring is fine...but you shouldn't act the way you did with me unless you're wanting me. I can't ever be someone else." Johnathan would open his eyes again as he spoke once more. "...You can come back. If you want to. I'm not angry anymore." He somewhat lied, though he had calmed down dramatically. "But you have to stay here for at least another week, and you need to stop muttering about what you've done and eat. Otherwise I won't be able to have them release you."

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[info]merope
2009-04-06 02:23 am UTC (link)
"I-It was like...s-someone sent who looked like him, but would accept me and wouldn't hurt me. I k-keep seeing my father and he yells at me all the time, how I do bad things. I did a bad thing just talking to you at all." Merope leaned into her chair, her hands curling around the bottom as she lightly rocked herself back and forth. It seemed that Jonathan had caused a rather nasty habit of her feeling the need to rock back and forth whenever she felt frightened, like now.

"Y-You don't want me to come back, I can s-stay here, Jonathan. I won't make you deal with me." She continued her slow rocking, so her back hit the back of the chair. Granted, the bruising that she sustained made the ache kind of sharp, but she didn't complain. "....I can't eat."

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[info]mymask
2009-04-06 02:43 am UTC (link)
Her behaviour, the rocking back and forth brought memories of his own childhood flooding back into his mind. The lanky doctor's heart was melting slowly, as he took pity on her. The tense feeling he had all over faded and he let it go for now. He looked at her with concerned eyes and spoke. "Merope...I do want you to be there, you brought up feelings in me I didn't know I had. But...only if you want to be around me, and not just because of who I happen to resemble." He spoke softly, his face not seeming so grim anymore.

"Your father isn't here...you must let that go he's not here. There's no one telling you speaking to me is bad. And you must eat, you'll die..I don't want you to die." His words seemed filled with actual care and concern now rather than with malice and hatred.

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[info]merope
2009-04-06 09:34 pm UTC (link)
Merope felt that she had to be honest, she couldn't tell him things that he wanted to hear,"....I-I want you around, but I'm attracted to you because of who you look like. I know the differences...but still...-- Why don't you want me to die? I hurt you....I know this place is because I am bad." Merope stretched her arms out a little and she pulled them back, curling around the bottom of the chair. Her body rocked again, trying to soothe herself without Jonathan's comfort.

"He is, I know it, he's around. I see him all the time at your home." She darted her eyes around, becoming twitchy just thinking about it.

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[info]mymask
2009-04-07 03:53 am UTC (link)
Johnathan got quiet at her words, finding them a bit painful. Though with a heavy sigh, he asked her a question. "Do you enjoy the differences?" This was something that crossed his mind at the last second, curious how she would reply. "I don't want you to die because..." He got quiet and cleared his throat a bit. "I'd rather not say. But I don't want you to die. You're not..bad. You reacted in a normal way considering your situation." Spoke the therapist, leaning back in his chair.

"No, your father isn't around. Its just your fear of him hurting you. You have to take control of that, let it go." Spoke Johnathan, leaning over again and sounding stern.

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[info]merope
2009-04-07 04:08 am UTC (link)
"Yes, but I'm bad. -- My father is always around your house, I saw him the other day, he yelled at me. " Merope shook her head back and forth, losing her ability to concentrate on him before, where it had been so easy. The girl continued her light rocking until she was calm enough to stop, her eyes couldn't keep his gaze as he intimidated her into stopping her motions.

"T-There isn't many, but I know the difference." Merope whispered as softly as she possibly could, leaning into the chair a little. "I saw him the night we fought, he shook me and was shouting." Merope's mind drifted to the shouting, her body moving back and forth constantly.

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[info]mymask
2009-04-07 04:25 am UTC (link)
Johnathan heard enough. He knew one thing he'd need to do to reach her at this point. Standing, he'd move the chair around to be seated next to her and he'd rest a hand gently on her shoulder. "Merope..stop rocking like that. Your father isn't around, he isn't here or at my house. He's not even in this world. You're...you're not bad, okay?" His eyes were filled with concern and he sounded sincere. Guilt was plaguing the normally evil doctor's mind.

Wanting to ask further about if she likes his differences from Tom, he almost asked again since she didn't give a clear answer but focused on the matter at hand. "Listen its okay...but you need to relax...and eat. And once they see you're fine, you can come back to my house."

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[info]merope
2009-04-07 04:35 am UTC (link)
He seemed frustrated with her, flustered and annoyed with her constant fearful personality. Once he moved, she jumped, flinching instantly as if he might hurt her as well, even though she never remembered Jonathan hurting her at all. Her shoulders pulled in as he came closer to her, but he hadn't done anything except place his hand on her shoulder. It seemed that he'd slowly driven her out of her mind, unable to remember the truth she knew she saw and what Jonathan fabricated for her.

Jonathan's order was complied with, she became rigid and stopped moving. Unable to respond, she lightly nodded,"I-I'm trying, Jonathan. I'm scared, I don't want to be alone, I can't sleep, I can't eat." It seems that Jonathan's dirty work had paid off; she seemed solitary, unable to eat or sleep without him around to protect her.

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[info]mymask
2009-04-07 06:15 pm UTC (link)
Johnathan rubbed her shoulder gently, reaching over with his other hand and grasping her, watching her face carefully. "You have to try harder. Don't think on such negative things...focus on how things will be better. Just please, for me, try and eat and sleep. Feel better for me." He asked, hoping his tone and his touch would reach her on this.

Johnathan indeed did get her to the point where she could do nothing without him. Though this was never his intentions, and it would have made him happy if this was what he wanted but seeing her like this was not what he had planned. He didn't expect to grow attached to her and then to drive her to this point.

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[info]merope
2009-04-08 01:24 am UTC (link)
Finally, she closed her eyes, her body slumped into the chair. Jonathan's smooth hand captured her face, keeping her focus on him primarily during his lecture,"....I-I'll try, Jonathan.." Merope let out a exhausted sigh,"I..am...sorry for hurting you, Jonathan." Merope said, finally managing to get to her feet and her arms wrapped around his waist and her eyes were shut. A long sigh passed through her lips.

"..I-I'll try to do things." Merope hid her face against his dress shirt, clutching her one hand against the back of his blazer.

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[info]mymask
2009-04-10 02:26 am UTC (link)
Her embrace made him sigh lightly, hands being places around her back as he would hold her gently and rub her back a little, looking down at her hair as she held onto him and buried her face in his shirt. For the first time in a long time he actually felt okay, not feeling so full of malice and anger.

"Thats all I'm asking...just try your best you can do this." He whispered to her, still rubbing her back and holding her in his arms.

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[info]merope
2009-04-10 06:53 am UTC (link)
Once his arms were around her, she seemed much more relaxed, much more calmer without all the drama concerning what he'd done. It seemed as though he had forgiven her for the most part,"I..I'm sorry I wasn't taking care of myself, I can't seem to control anything but how I eat..." She frowned, pressing a light kiss against the side of his arm, taking long deep breaths to soothe her anxiety.

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[info]mymask
2009-04-14 12:57 am UTC (link)
Johnathan's eyes closed again as he held her close in their embrace, rubbing her back and enjoying the sensation of having her in his arms again. She seemed willing to try, and was sorry for an honest mistake. He could forgive that. The kiss against his arm he allowed to happen, making him happy that she did it. "Its okay..just eat so that you won't die. I don't want you to die. And you can leave once they see an improvement." He whispered into her ear.

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