"You make me feel old. 'I don't remember a time without the internet.' Oy. One day I'll start talking about Amigas and Ataris and you'll just stare at me. And I'll look up the history of the internet later. I don't want to get distracted by porn while you're around." Not because he would be particularly embarrassed, but because he would keep going "LOOK AT THAT LOOK AT THAT" and she would pop a claw at him.
"Besides, I'm watching a movie with you. We've officially Made Plans. Not going to break them. I might ruin the movie by talking over it... Oh, Dave Chapelle, you funny Ess Oh Bee."