Miniver takes the pipe back, and can only manage to force himself to meet Skwisgaar's eyes for a moment as he does. He ducks his head to hide his red cheeks behind his hair as well as he can as he breathes in the familiarly potent smoke. He holds it in his lungs as he hands the pipe back, and only lets it out slowly.
"It always been in my life, that they I love, do not return it, and the other way around, at first. I... have never loved you. But I never loved Pickles, at first. When I first met him and tried..." He pauses, disliking the bittersweetness of the memory. "...and tried to seduce him, as another in a parade of one night stands to keep the room from being empty, he told me he loved me, and to find his younger-self when he came. So I did, because I knew he would be with me. But he stayed. I didn't love him before he was the right answer. I did not like myself, how I was with all those other people. I do not like myself, how I have been with you. But maybe it means... there is a reason for it that will be fixed now. I think maybe, sometimes, I hated you because you were too much like me, in some ways." He pauses and sighs. "I'm tired of these dead things rotting in me. I got too much to do and too little time left to spend it trying to kill myself through someone else... and not even myself, but someone I used to be 30 years ago."