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Tweak says, "TIK TIK TIK"

Eighth Doctor [AU] (on_comingstorm) wrote in utr_logs,
@ 2008-08-21 20:28:00

Entry tags:

eighth doctor (au), sarah jane smith

Who: Eight and Sarah Jane
Where: St. Agnes Cemetery, London
When: Thursday evening
Why: Remembering an old friend
Rating: TBD

The Doctor hadn't even known about this. Then again, he hadn't actually checked up on Harry or Sarah Jane since their departures from each other's presence years ago. But Sarah had asked him to take her there, and he had noticed she'd been acting strangely all day. He thought it'd just been because of what had transpired recently between them but the two of them had kind of just let that go for now.

In the main room, he'd turned dials and flipped switches, sending the TARDIS on its way towards their destination as she'd requested, and so he'd settled back in his chair just until they'd landed.

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dontcallmesj
2008-08-21 07:46 pm UTC (link)

It always seemed like no matter what time of year it was someone's death as looming in the distance. All the time the anniversary of something that happened was there and shouldn't get away from it no matter what world she was in or who she was with. Yes she knew there was another her here, and another Harry but it wasn't her Harry so she couldn't get herself to speak to either of them.

After composing herself a bit more she went to join the doctor in the main console room and it was obvious that she had been crying. "Thank you Doctor for taking me.." she said softly glancing around. she didn't even know why she was doing this really.

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on_comingstorm
2008-08-21 07:55 pm UTC (link)

He'd glanced up from the screen and saw her, red rimmed eyes and all, and he felt his twin hearts beat faster in his chest. Poor Sarah Jane. He was never good at the domestic thing or with loss,so all he could do was offer his presence. "You're very welcome." And he felt he owed it to Harry to go now that he knew his friend's fate.

Standing up from the console, he walked over to meet her and carefully, he brushed his finger over a tear track on her face.

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dontcallmesj
2008-08-21 08:05 pm UTC (link)

She wasn't expecting him to do anything for her. To be honest she didn't know what he could do really. She was used to being alone and dealing with her grief in her own way. Still when he came over to her, she was still and didn't shy away from him like last time when he reached out to touch her.

"Sorry," she mumbled, brushing her hand over the other side of her face. "You must be tired of me crying all the time. I know I am.." it seemed like lately she'd just been full of tears, thankfully none were his doing. Not really.

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on_comingstorm
2008-08-21 08:25 pm UTC (link)

"Only because it pains me to see you like this. I wish I could do something to reverse it or change how you feel, Sarah." Which if he hadn't dumped her, her life might be much different. Or she could be dead as well. It was hard to tell.

"Don't be sorry. If you want to cry, then cry." And his hand found its way into hers somehow. "I'm not the one to tell someone one way or another about their emotions. You know just as well as anyone that I'm not a good source of advice on that matter given how I am still bitter over Gallifrey."

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dontcallmesj
2008-08-21 08:42 pm UTC (link)

She let out a little sigh and nodded her head slightly, "It's all right, that's just how life is, Doctor. We can't go back and change things, even I know that.." no matter how much she wished she could. But there were some things she didn't want to change even if that meant having to deal with days like these.

Taking a hold of his hand, she gave it a small squeeze though she couldn't bring herself to smile. "I suppose so, but I'm sure it's still annoying if it is to me." She paused, "I still think you should talk to the TARDIS about it sometime. I'm sure she could help."

She rubbed at her face slightly, "I'm not sure I can do this."

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on_comingstorm
2008-08-21 08:54 pm UTC (link)

He wasn't sure the TARDIS could fix how he felt about massacring all of his people in one fell swoop. His world may be here in this place, but elsewhere, they were all dead. It didn't change what happened, what he'd done and had to live with. Why should he forgive himself for it?

"Yes, you can," he replied as he gave her hand a firm squeeze. "I'll be right beside you all the way. No turning back. You've got me and I've got you." And he smiled warmly at her as the TARDIS opened her doors for them. Out beyond them, they had landed at the cemetery gates since he had no idea where this plot was.

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dontcallmesj
2008-08-21 09:11 pm UTC (link)

Maybe she couldn't, but the TARDIS had an odd way of putting people at ease about a lot of bad things. And Sarah thought he needed to at least try and forgive himself as she needed to forgive things that she'd done but that wasn't as easy as she said it was.

Letting out another breath, she nodded. "Okay.." she relented and then turned around to head out of the TARDIS and into the light of day. She squinted some, wishing they could have done this at night but well who did that? She started the way over to where Harry's plot was. "He's... not actually in there. At least he's not in the world I come from.. its just.. formality.." she explained as they walked.

When they got there, she came to stop in front of them. The tombstone said Harold Sullivan, 1944-2005. Right next to that was a tombstone for William Sullivan, 1960-2006. That seemed to make her even more uncomfortable then even Harry's. She frowned and sighed.

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on_comingstorm
2008-08-21 09:25 pm UTC (link)

The Doctor nodded as they walked, his own eyes squinting at the sun just a little. He was never one for funerals or things like this. He didn't like to be reminded of how short everyone's lives were but his own.

Harry and his brother side by side. He hoped that the grave was still empty for Harry, even though in this place it was highly likely that it wasn't. He had a strange urge to hug the younger version here and tell him he was sorry for letting him die. Letting his arm slip around her waist, he pulled her closer to him as he stood solemnly to look at the twin graves, sighing. He glanced out of the corner of his eye at Sarah. "Are you alright?"

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dontcallmesj
2008-08-21 09:47 pm UTC (link)

It was a huge glaring reminder, both of them. Like they were staring at her, condemning her. She shook her head and squeezed down on her arm with her fingernails so that she wouldn't cry. "No.. I'm not.." she said quietly. "Josh is ... down on the other side. This world is horribly cruel. They should just .. line them all up. Harry, Will, Josh, Claudia, my parents, Aunt Lavinia.."

Yeah she didn't deal with this any better then he did. But this wasn't the time to feel sorry for herself, she was there to remember Harry. "Should have brought flowers or something.." she didn't quite know what to do. "I shouldn't have come.. what's the point?"

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on_comingstorm
2008-08-21 09:59 pm UTC (link)

He'd never met Josh before or any of the others she had named in her long line of grief, but he knew how she felt just the same. He had his own list of ones he'd lost since Sarah Jane had traveled with him, and probably cruelly, fate had stuck their final resting places here too just to haunt him. But he wasn't about to go looking for them.

"We can bring flowers another time. It's enough we've come. The point is to show their lives meant something to us, still mean something even after all of this time. It wasn't a useless thing to do, Sarah." He held on to her tightly because he could see she was teetering on that brink of losing her hold on herself.

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dontcallmesj
2008-08-21 10:16 pm UTC (link)

It was nice that he was trying to make her feel better and she wasn't exactly being nice about it. He probably wondered where the nice young girl had gone and what had made her such a horrible bitch, but that was something that was probably going to remain silent between them (until they started to fight again at least).

"Guess you're right.." she mumbled. He was holding onto her and she didn't know what to do. "I'm so tired of being upset all the time.." she wiped away at tears. "I'm sorry they're gone, I just don't know why I can't be happy. Why I'm always alone."

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on_comingstorm
2008-08-21 10:29 pm UTC (link)

He didn't have to wonder about those things. He knew what had done it: life and circumstances. Just like him. They were both byproducts of their lives, and neither would admit how much they were alike. Maybe that's why they'd stuck together this long. The last few days had seemed bittersweet with her being in the ship with him. As much as she'd tried pushing, he stuck close to her regardless of her reasoning that they were inevitably going to fight. He'd been rather quiet, actually.

He took the time to pull out a handkerchief and dotted at her cheeks to dry them, then gave it to her to hold. "There might not be an actual explanation for it. It's just...our lives. We can't be happy when all we're surrounded with is death. How could anyone be happy with that?" Then he hugged her. "You've got me."

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dontcallmesj
2008-08-21 10:37 pm UTC (link)

In all actuality, she was rather glad that he'd been around and that he'd been quiet. Living with everyone else was quite loud and though she loved them all it was hard to get a moment to herself. Being alone with him at least gave her room to breathe, even if he came to check on her to make sure that she was all right.

She took the handkerchief from him and gave a small smile. "Yeah.. no one can be happy with that.." though it seemed like the rest of them were significantly more happy then the two of them. Her arms wrapped around him and she hugged him back, "I know even though that's not what.. I mean I know I'm your friend. That's it.."