InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "I know I'm a mess."

Sol (solvei) wrote in utr_logs,
@ 2008-08-13 08:27:00

Entry tags:

emily sorenson, solvei samuels

Who: Sol and Emily
What: Taking care of the crazy person.
Where: Dean's apartment
When: Yesterday?
Warnings: No.

Solvei left Julia with her daddy and headed over to Dean's as soon as she could. She'd known for a few days now that something was up with Em. There'd just been so much going on that she hadn't pressed Faith or Dean to find out what the fuck was going on. Now that she knew, she was pissed. Pissed at how Dean and Faith had kept this from her. Dean, she expected it from because he always wanted to keep things to himself. Faith did that too but she knew how Sol felt about Emily.

Before Sol came to this messed up place the only other person besides Xand that Sol really ever told anything to was Emily. She never felt that she had to hide anything from her. Maybe it was because she had seen Emily at her worst once. Not nearly as much as Dean since they had the whole hell experience together. But the aftermath of hell? Sol remembered that clearly.

When her and Faith had gone in there they had found Dean right away. He had fought them mumbling incoherently about something they couldn't quite understand. Then Sol heard a voice. It was small and strangled and she couldn't turn away. She'd told Faith to go on ahead and she'd be right there.

Solvei was sure when she saw her that she couldn't leave her there. She was curled up in the fetal position crying uncontrollably. She tried yelling to get her attention and that didn't work. So she did what any slayer would do. Solvei picked the taller girl up and carried her back to the portal.

Sam and Dean were in the front seat as they drove away. Emily, Sol and Faith were all in the back seat. Emily was out of it and Faith wasn't the type that comforted people. Sol started with taking Em's hand and that turned into Em practically laying on her. Sol didn't pause or push her away she just held her until she was a little more with it.

When Dean told her that Emily was back to that? Back to the hell crazy? She got really pissed. Because no matter what was going on in her life when Em lost it? She would've been there. The fact that Faith and Dean thought that they didn't need to tell her about it until they needed her to watch her? Really pissed her off.

Once she got to Dean's place she didn't bother really saying anything to Dean. Because she'd probably hit him again if he talked to her right now. She went straight to find Emily when Dean pointed to the hallway to his bedroom. When she first walked in she didn't see her. "Em?"

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live_alie
2008-08-13 11:42 am UTC (link)

Emily was halfway under the bed looking around for a clip she'd lost the night before when she heard a noise. Instinctively, she pushed herself all the way under the bed and peered out from underneath until she saw a pair of familiar shoes, stylish yet affordable. They were definitely Solvei's. With a smile she pushed herself back out into the room and climbed up to her feet.

"I lost a clip." Emily said, holding the errant hair piece in her hand to show her friend. As if to say, 'See? I'm not crazy.'

"Hi," She said to her friend, walking over and hugging her gently. She knew that Solvei, like Faith and Dean were not really all about the hugging but Emily hugged them anyway because she figured even sharp, sassy superheroes needed to be hugged sometimes. "How are you? How's Julia?" She grinned thinking about the little blond girl who had kept her company her first day after everything had happened.

She didn't like that Solvei had left the door open so she walked past her and casually closed it.

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solvei
2008-08-13 12:11 pm UTC (link)

Sol hugged Emily back. She really didn't mind the hugging as much as she would admit. She'd also noticed the sound of Emily scuffling underneath the bed further as she had peered around for her. For right now, she wouldn't say anything about it. "She's good. Kyle came back and she's happy to have her daddy back. I want you to meet him soon."

Wrinkling her brow as she watched Emily close the door she walked over and didn't say anything but she opened it wide and leaned against it. "Em, talk to me. What's going on?"

Sol figured what was going on but she wasn't going to accuse Emily of it just yet. The men that hurt her got the jump on her. They got the jump on her before she could mind fuck them out of it. Since none of her friends were around she was regressing back to her time in hell. Where Faith and Dean would never call her on it Sol would. She'd just have to think of the best way to firmly and gently get her to talk about it.

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live_alie
2008-08-13 12:19 pm UTC (link)

She felt nervous, twitchy, fidgety as Solvei stood in front of the door, leaving it wide open. She tried to remind herself that they were in Dean's apartment which was perfectly safe. Not only that, she was with a vampire slayer. What could hurt her with Solvei there to protect her? Biting down on her lip, she forced herself to stop tapping her foot as she looked at Sol.

"What do you mean?" She asked as she walked past her and into the kitchen. Grabbing a glass out of the cabinet she started to pour herself some water as she looked over at Sol who was leaning against the counter. "Do you want anything?" She asked, and just watched as Solvei shook her head.

"Where's Dean? Did he go somewhere?" Emily asked before she sipped the water, swallowing loudly. She glanced past Sol at the window and saw that Dean hadn't stripped the tape off of the windows. She felt a little better.

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solvei
2008-08-13 12:36 pm UTC (link)

"Dean had an errand to run." Sol told her dismissively. She followed Em's gaze to the windows and saw the tape on them. What the hell? Dean didn't do that. Emily must've done that. But why?

"It's so dark in here. Why is there tape on the windows?" In all reality she had an idea but she wanted Emily to tell her why. She walked over and started to rip the tape off piece by piece. If Emily was protesting she wasn't going to listen to it because this was just nuts.

After that was done she said, "You know what? It's a beautiful day out. Let's go for a walk. Get your shoes on." She told Emily firmly. Sol was not going to let Emily hide inside like she was in a cave. She would be damned if she'd let her friend turn into a hermit taping the windows like a crazy person.

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live_alie
2008-08-13 12:41 pm UTC (link)

"Stop." Emily said quietly, watching helplessly as Solvei started ripping the tape down. "Stop it. STOP IT!" She screamed, watching as Solvei turned to look at her with an expression Emily couldn't quite read. She didn't really care at the moment. Solvei was ruining everything. That tape needed to stay there and there was no way ~~in hell~~ Emily was going anywhere with her.

She ran to the bathroom and slammed the door shut, locking it in place just a second before Solvei got there. She watched the doorknob jangle and turn before listening to the frustrated sigh on the other end of the door.

"Just go away. LEAVE ME ALONE!" Emily yelled, backing up further into the bathroom and looking over at the tub. She wasn't sure why, but she'd designated the tub as her safe zone and now she wanted to get back in it but Solvei was banging at the door.

"GO AWAY!" She yelled again, feeling frustrated tears well up in her eyes. Why couldn't Solvei just leave her in peace? She wasn't hurting anyone. That is, except for herself.

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solvei
2008-08-13 12:51 pm UTC (link)

"I'm not going anywhere." Sol told her from the other side of the door with a sigh. "Open up, Em." Emily yelled at her to go away and she pressed her lips together in a firm line. Guess Dean would have to replace a door. If Sol had to break every door in his place today she would. Gripping the handle she grabbed and pulled, taking the door completely off it's frame.

Emily was in the bathtub, curled up in the fetal position, just like she had been back in the day. She picked her up and carried her into the middle of the living room. Emily was fighting her and she just held onto her tightly. Sol sat down on the ground with Emily practically in her lap. She was kicking and crying now but Sol still didn't let go.

Tears were welling up in Sol's eyes now but she wasn't going to break. She told her forcefully, "You wouldn't let me self-destruct. Now, it's my turn, I'm not going to let you do this Emily." She didn't get all of her friends back just so she could lose one of them again.

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live_alie
2008-08-13 12:58 pm UTC (link)

Emily fought Solvei just as valiantly as if one of her oldest friends were some demon from hell. And just like in hell, Emily was losing the battle.

"Please, just let go." She whispered but Sol held onto her tightly, telling her that she wouldn't let her self-destruct. Finally, Emily relaxed, went limp in Solvei's arms. There was no use in fighting it. She let out a deep breath, trying to remind herself that Solvei was strong. But Dean had been strong too and he couldn't save her from the demons. He couldn't even save himself.

"I really would feel better if we could retape the windows." Emily protested, sitting up slightly but Solvei only shook her head at her friends. Emily bit down on her bottom lip and stared over at the television screen for a minute. There was no picture, just the reflection of her and Solvei.

"I'm not going for a walk." She said stubbornly.

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solvei
2008-08-13 01:48 pm UTC (link)

Sol narrowed her eyes a bit when Emily told her that she'd feel better if she could tape the windows. "Too bad. Em, you're not in hell. You're not going back to hell. You're here. I know that those guys surprised you and you weren't able to fight back like you normally would've. And, none of us were there to help, but you can't give up like this." She was trying the reasoning approach now since the physical one didn't phase her.

Gently she let go of Emily and stood up. Offering a hand to her and pulled her up when she took her hand.

"Oh yes you are. We're both going. You and me, taking on the world. Now get your shoes on or I'm gonna drag you out without them." Sol could out-stubborn pretty much anyone. And she wasn't going to start giving in now.

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live_alie
2008-08-13 02:08 pm UTC (link)

Emily was frustrated and wondered if Solvei had built up some kind of tolerance to her powers. Sometimes even the most gentle of persuasions could be used against people but Sol was so stubborn, she wasn't having it. Her will was stronger than Emily's was right at the moment and that rubbed Emily the wrong way.

She knew that Solvei really would drag her bare-foot, kicking and screaming out into the city below. She huffed a little bit angrily but finally went back to the room she'd been staying in to find her shoes. Faith hadn't packed her very many pairs and she ended up shoving her feet into a pair of ratty old sneakers.

She was barely out into the hallway again before Solvei snagged her by her arm and started pulling her out the door and down the stairs. "Wait. Wait...." Emily said, wrapping her fingers around the bannister but she was no real match for slayer strength and before she knew it, Sol had forcibly dragged her outside into the sunshine.

Emily blinked a few times and looked around on the sidewalk, feeling uneasy.

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solvei
2008-08-13 04:46 pm UTC (link)

"See? Now, isn't it beautiful outside?" Cheerfully Sol asked Emily. Knowing that all Emily wanted to do was bolt back inside Dean's apartment she was holding on to Em's hand. Sol wasn't going to let go until the deer-in-headlights look was gone from Emily's eyes.

Once they'd walked a few blocks there was a bench and Sol sat down next to Emily and let her hand go. "You wanna tell me what's up now?"

Sol figured that Emily could either talk to her or she'd just get up and let her find her way back to Dean's place by herself. She'd make sure that she got back okay but she wasn't going to let herself be seen by Emily if that happened. There was no way that Sol was going to give up but she just felt like she was starting to run out of options.

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live_alie
2008-08-13 09:29 pm UTC (link)

"Sure." She said numbly, willing herself to relax and feel comfortable outside on the bench with Solvei. It was a nearly impossible task and she kept looking up to meet every person's eyes who happened to walk by.

"What do you want to talk about?" Emily asked her friend, turning to look at her. Sol was just staring at her so Em huffed and folded her arms over her chest as she watched a few kids playing in the park. They didn't look very evil.

She tried to keep her eyes on them, but they kept shifting over to a homeless man sitting nearby. He kept scratching his head and staring at Emily and Solvei and he was making her nervous. Hugging her knees to her chest, Emily put her hand to the side of her head so that it was blocking her from seeing anything except for Sol.

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solvei
2008-08-14 10:04 am UTC (link)

Patience definitely was not a virtue of Sol's so when Emily asked her what she wanted to talk about she wanted to scream. She didn't but she did bite down on the inside of her cheek that wasn't facing her friend.

Sol also noticed the homeless man and she reached over and gently took Emily's hand down that was shielding her eyes. "What's this about? Why now?" Had it just been because they were always on the go before? When all of them were traveling across country together, was her mind constantly occupied? Or was it because she was with all of them all of the time?

Sol was trying to get to the bottom of this. Once she accepted someone into her life she didn't give up and that's what she wasn't going to do now. Emily was staring off into space ignoring her. She snapped her name out, "Em!"

Once Emily turned to look at her Sol said, "Either talk or we're going to Time's Square." She didn't like threatening her but she knew that right now that was probably Emily's worst nightmare. Times Square was probably about a hundred times more busy than Dean's little side street that he lived on.

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live_alie
2008-08-14 10:45 am UTC (link)

Time's Square? Emily stared at Solvei trying to decide whether she was being serious right now. She could tell immediately that she was and she wondered if this was some trick, some trap. Wearing her friend's face, pulling her out into the sunshine. Emily had been duped plenty of times before, this wouldn't be the first time.

She stood up, but didn't make it very far before Sol's fingers latched around her wrist. Emily shook it off, and started walking back towards Dean's apartment. At least there, she felt moderately safe. It occurred to her for a moment to find a new hiding place, one that Solvei wouldn't find her in. She was walking blind, hot tears flooding her eyes as she headed back in what she thought was the right direction.

Everything felt harsh, too bright- even the air against her skin seemed to burn as she kept walking. When Solvei's hand closed around her elbow Emily had to fight back the urge not to hit her.

Her eyes burned, the tears dissipated as they flooded black and angry.

"Leave me alone." She said sharply, so sharply that Solvei had no choice but to comply.

Turning around she started walking blindly back to Dean's apartment.

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