InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "I think I need a boyfriend"

Alan Shore (unethicallawyer) wrote in utr_logs,
@ 2008-05-11 21:47:00

Entry tags:

alan shore, lorelai gilmore

Who: Lorelai and Alan
Where: London office in the conference room.
What: Lorelai got sued and Alan is getting her out of it.
Warnings: probably.

Alan looked across the table at the teenage boy and the pompous lawyer beside him. The lawyer looked very sure of himself and Alan just smiled.

"So, you're trying to sue my client for insufficient child protection on adult television? You do realize that this is completely ridiculous as she follows all guidelines and has in no way broken any laws. You have nothing to back your claim."

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musthavecoffee
2008-05-11 10:26 pm UTC (link)

The pompous lawyer pressed his lips together as he leaned forward over his briefings. "We have my clients' pain and suffering that were caused by the defendant's neglect. We aren't interested in criminal law here, Mr. Shore, or debating whether or not your client broke any. We're asserting that by your client neglecting to take responsibility to create a wholesome," the emphasis he placed on the word gave him a nasaly tone, "environment, my client suffered substantially."

Lorelai tried not to look too lost in the legalese. They were barely even touching the surface of it, and she was already getting nervous.

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	unethicallawyer 2008-05-11 10:40 pm UTC (link)
	Alan laughed. "There was no negligence! The channels are pay-per-view and do have restrictions on age! If you go to any hotel or inn you'll find the same channels available." His smile just showed how ridiculous this all was and showed he wasn't at all worried or nervous. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	musthavecoffee 2008-05-11 10:48 pm UTC (link)
	The pompous lawyer's lips thinned. "Well, I suppose those other hotel owners are lucky that Mr. VanHorton stayed Ms. Gilmore's hotel instead of theirs. Do you have an offer for us, or will we see you in court?" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	unethicallawyer 2008-05-11 10:57 pm UTC (link)
	Alan shook his head and smiled at him. "And offer? How about $20.00? That's how much the pay-per-view was. It's more than the court will give him, and all he'll be doing if you go through with this is wasting his money on court costs, paying and idiot to represent him, and embarrassing himself in public." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

musthavecoffee
2008-05-11 11:22 pm UTC (link)

The boy looked positively smug. He was actually grinning. He stood up and spoke before the lawyer could open his mouth. "We decline. We'll see you in court," said the teenager.

The lawyer glanced over at him in annoyance; obviously he had been told to let the lawyer do all the talking.

It would have been exciting to watch Alan do this if she weren't the one being sued. He was so.. confident.

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	unethicallawyer 2008-05-11 11:32 pm UTC (link)
	Alan looked at the boy. Oh, he was that type. Alan put his hand on Lorelai's leg. There was only a small smirk. "Twenty thousand." He knew the boy wouldn't take his offer. He wanted to go to court. He didn't care about the money at all. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	musthavecoffee 2008-05-12 06:33 am UTC (link)
	Lorelai's eyes widened in spite of herself. What was he doing?! And his hand.. Well, his hand was probably the only thing that kept her from having a little outburst of her own. Twenty thousand?! "I'm afraid not," said the boy with a smirk. Twenty thousand dollars was pocket change to this kid. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

unethicallawyer
2008-05-12 05:39 pm UTC (link)

He turned to the lawyer, "Surely you can't expect to get more than that? You really can't even expect to get the twenty dollars I offered before, not if you have ever sued anyone before. Oh well, offer withdrawn. See you in court, I suppose." His smile was very amused. Alan patted Lorelai's leg. It was rather simple now. The child had been disowned for being caught watching porn underage. Now he was trying to cause a commotion to embarrass his mother. So we call the mother and she'll put a stop to all this. It would all work out perfectly.

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musthavecoffee
2008-05-12 05:53 pm UTC (link)

The lawyer seemed to be struggling with his pompous demeanor. He had advised his client of the best course of action, and the boy had completely ignored him. Sure, he was being paid handsomely enough to lose, but he hadn't counted on being embarrassed and insulted by opposing counsel. The teenager didn't have the slightest hit of disappointment in his demeanor. He was smiling as he walked out.

Lorelai was confused by the attitudes of everyone in the room. What the heck was going on and how did Alan deal with this kind of insanity everyday? Alan and the boy were both smiling. Shouldn't they have the exact opposite expression? This was so weird.

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unethicallawyer
2008-05-12 06:05 pm UTC (link)

It wasn't even the end of the week before they were in the conference room again. One small difference this time. Next to the teenage boy was his rich, rather angry looking mother. The boy did not look quite as happy as he had the last time he had been in the office. Alan smiled at all the woman.

"Thank you for coming, Mrs. VanHorton. I'm so glad you could be here."

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musthavecoffee
2008-05-12 06:30 pm UTC (link)

Mrs. VanHorton took a stiff breath and folded her hands in front of her. Her thin lips were pursed tightly together. She gave a sharp nod. "I'm glad I could make it, as well," she said, her jaw barely unclenching long enough to finish the sentence. "There is a matter I need to discuss with you."

Lorelai did not have a good feeling about this woman. She looked like she could spit fire.

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	unethicallawyer 2008-05-12 06:38 pm UTC (link)
	Alan's smile wasn't the over-confident and almost condescending smile from last time, but a much more pleasant smile. "Of course, ma'am." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	musthavecoffee 2008-05-12 06:53 pm UTC (link)
	Lorelai did her best not to look nervous. The woman sat up a little straighter. "I've already fired Mr. Preston. I'm offering you eighty thousand dollars to make this go away. No news stories, nothing in the hotel records mentioning Alistair's name, and those news vans out front need to disappear." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

unethicallawyer
2008-05-12 07:02 pm UTC (link)

Alan was very careful to not let his shock show. He had an amazing poker face. He knew she would get her son to drop this, and maybe even make some kind of offer, but this was... unexpected. He put a hand on Lorelai's thigh again, partially to calm her and partially just to put his hand on her thigh.

"Of course. All records will be erased and I will talk to my assistant to make sure you can get out of here without anyone seeing you."

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musthavecoffee
2008-05-12 07:35 pm UTC (link)

Lorelai's surprise was harder to disguise. She coughed, trying to cover up the sound of shock with a 'realistic' sounding coughing fit. She glanced over at Alan, wide-eyed. Did he feel up all his clients?

The woman nodded. "Good." The woman pulled out her checkbook. "I'll make this out to you, Ms. Gilmore, and you can sort out all of the lawyer mumbo-jumbo after I'm gone." She finished writing the check and placed it in the center of the table. "My first husband was a lawyer, and I have no patience for the breed." She stood up and brushed imaginary dirt from her suit. "We'll be going now."

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	unethicallawyer 2008-05-12 08:47 pm UTC (link)
	Alan stood when Mrs. VanHorton stood and walked her to the door, whispering to his assistant before closing the door behind them. He grinned at Lorelai. "Hm, that went well." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	musthavecoffee 2008-05-12 10:30 pm UTC (link)
	Lorelai stared incredulously down at the impromptu 'settlement agreement' after the door closed. "So.. Explain to me again how this works," she said, looking up at Alan. "They sue us, we refuse to give them money so they give us money?" She was pretty sure it didn't work that way. They didn't countersue, or anything. "That's.. not how it works, is it?" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	unethicallawyer 2008-05-13 05:46 pm UTC (link)
	Alan smiled, "No, not normally." He closed his briefcase, "I'm just that good." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	musthavecoffee 2008-05-13 11:12 pm UTC (link)
	"Oh," Lorelai said, still a little stunned. She watched Alan pack up his things. 'And then he swept off the table and took her right there in the conference room,' Lorelai thought to herself, her mind providing detailed illustrations to accompany her narration. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	unethicallawyer 2008-05-14 09:50 pm UTC (link)
	"So, is this the part where I sweep off the table and take you right here in the conference room?" Alan asked, still on the high from winning the case, and not really expecting to be taken seriously. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	musthavecoffee 2008-05-14 09:52 pm UTC (link)
	Lorelai's mouth dropped open a little, her cheeks going pink. How did he...? Her lips closed and formed a smirk as one of her eyebrows rose, suggestively. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	unethicallawyer 2008-05-14 10:03 pm UTC (link)
	Alan arched his eyebrow, a little taken aback by her response, but no less willing to go through with what he suggested. "I'll draw the blinds, then." (Reply to this) (Parent)