InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "I've slept so long without you"

Antigone Grace Winchester - Princess of Troy (antigone_grace) wrote in utr_logs,
@ 2008-05-11 15:38:00

Current mood:	worried
Entry tags:	antigone grace, sam winchester

Who: Anne and Sam Winchester
What: She said dinner and a movie.
When: Tonight.
Where: Anne's place
Warnings: Impossible to tell at this point. Probably less sex than usual.

In her own house, it was easier to prepare an entire meal with a thought here or there and a wave of the hand. Her nerves were a bit on edge because she intended on telling Sam a bit about herself tonight. Stuff that she'd confided in Dean, more or less, when she should have confessed all to his brother.

Tonight was the night, considering everything else they'd shared. He needed (read: deserved) to know who and what she really was. Not just some happy-go-lucky goddess, but everything (almost) about her past.

The house, however, had picked up on her mood and was reacting accordingly. As she walked through the rooms, the furnishings darkened and she couldn't get them to lighten again. It was something she hadn't always despised about the place, but some days...

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antigone_grace
2008-05-11 06:58 pm UTC (link)

Anne took the flowers, inhaling their scent. "They're beautiful," she told him, accepting his kiss and compliment. "Thank you, Sam. You're always so-"

Nice. Sweet. Gentle- Not that last time, but even after it had been nice, falling asleep with him. "Thank you."

Turning, she headed into the kitchen, motioning for him to follow. "I wasn't sure what you wanted to eat, so I thought I'd let you decide once you got here. You never did get your dinner last time," she pointed out, placing the roses in a cut vase and filling it with water. "What are you hungry for?"

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	wnchestrgeekboy 2008-05-11 07:06 pm UTC (link)
	"You're welcome." He smiled, following her into the house. "Uh, whatever you make is fine, I'm sure. I'm not very picky, just...nothing raw." He shuddered, remembering being sick. He watched her, easy within her own surroundings. She moved more fluidly, gracefully even in her own home. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

antigone_grace
2008-05-11 07:13 pm UTC (link)

"Oh, that's right," she said, wincing as she turned, the flowers settling with a wave of her hand. "I can imagine the thought of anything raw brings back nightmares."

Walking up to him, she slipped her arms around his waist, her nervous energy finally getting the best of her. She couldn't walk in circles with him there and he was bound to notice if she didn't calm down soon. Tilting her head back, she sighed. "And movies. Indiana Jones- Hey! That's that guy. Who looks like Han Solo."

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	wnchestrgeekboy 2008-05-12 07:03 pm UTC (link)
	His arms went around her, too and he smiled, still not knowing what kind of talk he was being set up for. "Yeah, that's Harrison Ford. He's badass." Sam studied her face for a moment and just decided to get on with it, and rip the band-aid right off. "What is it? You're twitchy and you said you wanted to talk, so...here I am." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

antigone_grace
2008-05-12 07:10 pm UTC (link)

"He's very good at what he does," Anne agreed and then sighed when Sam continued. Easing out of his arms, she took his hands and squeezed them gently.

"Well," she started gently, "I was thinking about you and the things you told me. About who you were before you ended up here. And your family." Anne took a deep breath and looked into his eyes. "I really wanted to tell you about me."

Anne dropped his hands and headed for her front room, the fire starting when she walked in. It wasn't particularly cold and she gave the fireplace a look. "The house, it senses my mood and reacts accordingly. Why it's so dark," she explained, folding herself onto the couch and motioning for him to do the same. "Please."

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	wnchestrgeekboy 2008-05-12 07:18 pm UTC (link)
	"Okay." he nodded, figuring it was fair to hear her out also. He probably should have waited to sleep with her until after this particular talk, but the past was something that he'd learned would never change. Sam sat down on the other end of the couch and studied the fireplace flames for a moment. "What did you want to tell me?" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

antigone_grace
2008-05-12 07:40 pm UTC (link)

Sam sat down and Anne stood up and started pacing. After a moment she stopped in front of him.

"I'm 12. I mean, I'll be 13 in a week and a half. When I was two weeks old, I was fully grown. At that time, I promised my half-brother I'd love him forever if he'd release my father from a curse he'd placed on him, only I didn't know at the time he was my half-brother. Seven months later, I had a son who's now long grown and gone. Later, I was released from that vow when there was a war and fighting and Olympus- Nevermind. I've died twice. The first time was the result of a vindictive Norse god, the second was due to a temporary mortality. I've been married twice. The first time was the result of a love potion that I didn't know about to the same vindictive Norse god. The second was to a cancer doctor I loved very much who died several years ago."

She took a deep breath, ignoring the tears that had sprung to her eyes. "I like you, Sam. Very much."

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	wnchestrgeekboy 2008-05-12 08:27 pm UTC (link)
	"Whoa, wait. WHAT? TWELVE!?!" Sam immediatley flew to his feet and paced. "Oh, my GOD. I'm going to JAIL. Holy shit, they're gonna lock me up for THE REST OF MY LIFE. TWELEVE!?!" The world hated him, he was certain of it now. "Anne! I...." He sort of flailed. "But, how? You look..my age. Give or take. Oh my God." He sort of wandered around in a circle. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

antigone_grace
2008-05-12 08:36 pm UTC (link)

"Sam."

The way he'd jumped up and the change in his demeanor couldn't have hit her any harder than if he'd actually reached out and slapped her. The pacing, the rambling, the flailing, the yelling-

"Sam, please." She put out her hands. "It's not the same for me. My father? He was a day old when he stole a herd of cattle. Growing quickly is a fact of life. My mother was three thousand when she took her life. I'll look like this forever." A bit flustered herself, she dropped her hands and folded her hands together. "I wanted you to know the truth. I-" She couldn't think. "I didn't want to lie to you."

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wnchestrgeekboy
2008-05-12 08:47 pm UTC (link)

"Oh my God. Oh...my God." He continued to chase around in a circle. "I mean, I don't care that you're a goddess. Honestly, I don't. You're a wonderful person underneath all that, but...tell me I just didn't commit a felony. Please."

He was scared, to tell the truth. He didn't want to hurt anyone, it wasn't in him. At least he liked to believe that.

"I've...studied the mythology, so...okay. I..I understand, I think but, how's this gonna work? I'm gonna get old and you're...not?"

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antigone_grace
2008-05-12 08:54 pm UTC (link)

Anne became slightly annoyed that he was still pacing. His panic was setting her heart into a pace that she wasn't used to. Feeding off other people's emotions was usually pleasing. This? This was not.

Fixing him with a stare, she shook her head. "You didn't commit a felony, Sam. What's someone going to say? The girl you took to bed is really a twelve year old goddess?" A 'duh' look. "I have all the appropriate paperwork that says I'm really twenty-two. Or did. It wouldn't be hard to get it again, I'm sure. To the mortal world, Anne de Troy is a legal adult."

She bit her lip. "Yes. I'll stay young. I'm not sure if I could change my appearance to be older than I am. I've never tried."

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wnchestrgeekboy
2008-05-12 09:16 pm UTC (link)

"Right. Okay." He stopped pacing and dropped into an armchair. "You're 22. That's all I need to know." He raked his hands through his hair once.

"I'm sorry. If I'm...freaking you out, but you gotta understand this is alot and you have a kid? That's...that's fine. But...this is alot. Okay? And...I'm. I'm. Doing my best."

He really was, and he hoped she could tell.

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antigone_grace
2008-05-12 09:24 pm UTC (link)

Something about his speech, his words and his demeanor led her to believe that he wouldn't welcome her touch or even sitting next to him, so she continued standing in front of him. Her solid expression wavered a little and she took another deep breath.

"My son is gone, Sam. I haven't seen him in a long time. He has his own life now and-" She gave a small shrug. "He is who he is, like I am who I am. Our..." She searched for the word, "personalities aren't the best match. He was a product of something that wasn't entirely real. Something I couldn't quite control." A pause. "Nevermind."

Anne tilted her head just a little and sat on the table just where it met Sam's knees. "I know you are," she said quietly. "I know. I couldn't continue letting myself have feelings for you that were growing every time I saw you without telling you about my past. About where I came from. It felt like a lie." She took a deep breath. "I wanted to love you without feeling like I was holding something back."

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	wnchestrgeekboy 2008-05-12 09:37 pm UTC (link)
	"Why didn't you tell me...that night. When I told you...everything." He asked, not accusing, just needing to know. He leaned forward, forearms on his knees. "Did you think...it was going to change how I feel for you?" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

antigone_grace
2008-05-12 09:46 pm UTC (link)

"Yes."

Promising herself that she wouldn't cry, she blinked and met his eyes again. "I wanted so desperately to make you feel better that night that I didn't want this to happen. I didn't want to argue or fight or-" She blinked faster to stop tears from falling. "You've been through so much and I wanted to make it better-"

Shaking her head, she drifted off, feeling like she'd completely failed to make her point. "You won't go to jail, Sam. I won't tell anyone how old I am or that we ever slept together or-" She choked up and the tears spilled over.

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wnchestrgeekboy
2008-05-12 10:19 pm UTC (link)

"Hey...hey." He reached for her hand and squeezed it. Girls crying made his heart hurt all funny inside. "Don't cry, sweetheart. I....I understand, I do. And I don't want to you to...not tell anyone about us. I really...Anne. I. I...care about you, so much. So much and, I... Thank you for telling me."

He swallowed hard, tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.

"Maybe you're right about the age thing, and...that can stay between us. Just between us, but. Anne? I want everyone to know how much I like you, how much I care about you."

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antigone_grace
2008-05-12 10:28 pm UTC (link)

When Sam was done speaking, Anne looked down to where he was holding her hand and felt even worse, if that were possible. He'd called her 'sweetheart' and been gentle and she felt like the worst goddess in the world. Being vindictive, while she had been in the past, seemed so foreign when it came to Sam.

"I'll be twenty-two," she murmured quietly, partially interrupting him while he spoke about her age, but looked up at him when he talked about liking her. "You want people to know?

With her free hand, she wiped at her cheeks. "Sam, I-" Her breath hitched and yet another tear fell, guilt returning. Unable to tell another lie, she confessed all. "I'm falling in love with you."

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	wnchestrgeekboy 2008-05-14 01:50 am UTC (link)
	"Oh, Anne." He squeezed her hand gently. "Don't cry, please. Please." He didn't know if he could tell her yet that he knew he was falling for her, too. He just needed to process all of this in his own way, on his own time. He pulled her gently towards him, and hugged her. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

antigone_grace
2008-05-14 02:51 am UTC (link)

Anne nodded and sniffled into his shirt, and after a moment, she was absolutely horrified by the display of tears. Her mother would have never. The last time she, herself, had made a scene like so had been years ago. She hadn't even cried at James' funeral and this- Well...

Clearing her throat, she sat up again and used her fingertips to wipe her tears. A bit on the frozen size, she said, "I'm sorry." She removed her hand from his and clasped hers in her lap.

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	wnchestrgeekboy 2008-05-14 03:21 am UTC (link)
	"It's okay." He reached for her again. "I appreciate your honesty...I just need some time to process, okay?" Sam shifted a little bit, unsure of what to do now. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	antigone_grace 2008-05-14 03:26 am UTC (link)
	Not sure why he was reaching for her, she eased into his arms, still a bit stiff. "I understand, Sam. It's a lot to take in." After another awkward moment passed, she asked, "Did you still want to stay for dinner or-?" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	wnchestrgeekboy 2008-05-14 03:30 am UTC (link)
	Awkward was never easy. "Uh...I could if you wanted me to, and I don't want you to think that I don't...it's just...you understand, right? That...what you told me was alot to...hear. And...I think I should go. Just for right now, and we'll have a do-over date tomorrow. Sound good?" He fussed with his hands, not knowing what to do. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	antigone_grace 2008-05-14 03:34 am UTC (link)
	"I do understand," Anne responded, automatically slipping into the formality that was familiar as she eased to a standing position. With a 'Gracious Hostess' smile, she held out her hand to help him to his feet. "That sounds like a perfect idea to me." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	wnchestrgeekboy 2008-05-14 03:42 am UTC (link)
	He saw the way she almost switched personas and it unsettled him a little bit. "Alright. If you're sure." He got up and placed a little kiss on her forehead. This was weird. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

antigone_grace
2008-05-14 03:48 am UTC (link)

It was easier for Anne to be her mother when her heart was aching. More than anything, she didn't want to hurt Sam and yet, it seemed she had. He said he'd be back the following day, but Anne wanted nothing more than to curl up and sleep for a hundred years. For a being that didn't need to sleep...

"I'll see you tomorrow," she whispered, her facade nearly cracking when he kissed her forehead.

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	wnchestrgeekboy 2008-05-14 03:49 am UTC (link)
	Sam knew if he didn't leave at that moment, he never would and he really just needed some space to process. "Tomorrow." he echoed, before moving towards the door and leaving. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

antigone_grace
2008-05-14 03:52 am UTC (link)

She watched as the door shut behind him and with a wave of a hand, closed up the downstairs.

In her room, she sat at her vanity, the motions old to her and yet, not to someone like Sam. She brushed her hair, then let it twine itself into an intricate design that would leave her hair curled and gorgeous. Her clothing changed into the ancient dress and while she couldn't go home, she could feel as close to it as possible.

Then, she lay down on her bed and cried.

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