"I know that," Patience said, trying not to sigh. "I just meant... I don't know. If he had survived the attack, like I did. Even if our parents..."
It was difficult to explain, not only because she didn't have all the details straight, and she didn't want to push the point. It wasn't about wishing Aldous were alive, or their parents being alive, not really (although she did wish they were alive, of course, despite having accepted it wasn't possible). She couldn't quite explain what she was feeling, the same feeling that had driven her out of the house before the last full, the one that had made her tempt Chas down to her house with a chocolate treat.
"Never mind," she finished, slightly off in her own thoughts, as she drank her cocoa.
Plants had always been plenty of company for Patience, before. She'd been able to go days with no one but herself for company, and she could still do that. Except, it seemed, when she started to feel the pull of the moon. Then she started to want things - want to run free, go out into the woods, but also have people around her. Was that a wolf instinct, a desire to have... a pack?
Maybe she should get a dog. Or a few dogs, to keep her company. Maybe she could even take the dogs with her on the full - or would that scare them, or put them in danger? She didn't know, but she was considering it.