"That is precisely why I am not a pirate," Terrence said, chuckling. "I thought I'd be suited for it when I was a kid, got really good at climbing trees and all, but I just really don't want to shag a bloke. Especially when we're both bathing with seawater." He managed to keep a mostly straight face long enough to take a drink, and then started to laugh again. "No, actually, I don't think I ever wanted to be a pirate. Bit silly of me, it seems like the kind of childhood dream I should have had."
He grinned, imagining himself with the outfit he'd just described. He actually liked the idea of the feather mohawk, if he could make it stay like that. His hair went up into a sort of fauxhawk easily enough, as he'd discovered by accident while bored when Ella was in Bulgaria, so he thought it could probably be done. "Obviously we need to do something as a pirate and a parrot now, right?"