It didn't seem possible. Zach remembered Colin like it was yesterday, and it hadn't been very long, no since Colin had painted Zach's shirt while Zach lay quite still. But those memories were impossible to recall without the last one, without the way he had completely broken down and had no care for shame. He hadn't wanted to hurt Colin, but Zach couldn't help what the words had done to him. Colin's words. Colin's choice.
And Cedric, it may have been years, but Zach remembered that smile like it was only yesterday and had burned in his mind the last conversation they had had. Cedric had told Zach he loved him, and Zach had felt the words die in his throat because he had been afraid. And he was afraid but not for the same reason. His father wasn't the one who was going to hurt him.
"How?" Zach asked, "How can I even..." Go on. Do anything. Go to work. Eat. Sleep. Live. It didn't feel like living. It just hurt all over. And a month? Zach couldn't think past the end of the night.