It made sense, all of it made sense, but it didn't mean he liked it. Colin didn't like confrontations and he didn't like situations where there was bad feelings. He didn't like conflict, and yet, part of him felt off without constantly being in some sort of conflict. It was weird not to have to hide anymore and to be able to use his real name when talking to everyone. He didn't have to make up a name just because. It was strange. Good, but strange and now he was in constant conflict with his head and his heart. "What if I don't," he asked quietly. "What if I don't deserve it or I don't get it?" And yes, part of him was aware that it was silly to even think he couldn't deserve to be happy, but he had to ask.
"But I am worried about it. I'm always worried about it." He liked to worry about it. He nodded, sniffling some before curling against Justin more. He wanted to make a decision. He wanted it to be the right one. He just...needed to stop avoiding it because it was unpleasant. Otherwise he'd never choose and he'd probably lose both of them and that...that he never wanted. "I'll choose what will make me happy. I promise."