Zach Smith is gay and out (greencarnation) wrote in uprisingrpg, @ 2011-06-25 22:26:00 |
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Entry tags: | zacharias smith |
Who: Zach Smith and Sebastian Smith
What: Coming Out
When: Saturday June 25rd
Where: Smith Family Home
Warnings: Surprises
Status: Complete
The drawing room had truly tall walls and ceilings, as well as large windows that stretched nearly the entire distance. The golden curtains were open at the moment, allowing the morning sunlight to stream in. They faced east, after all, designed in a way so that no additional lighting was needed in the mornings, which was why he was waiting for his father in that room, as opposed to a room in another part of the house. The curtains had been there as long as Zach was able to remember, older than him, though they were still thick – thick enough to prevent most the light from coming in and also help hold heat into the room when it cooled in the winter.
This house had been his home, and Zach knew it well, in a way a few years apart could not change. And while this room had always been one of the cheeriest growing up, it currently felt like it could swallow him up. To avoid that sensation, Zach chose to stop looking up. Instead, his feet led him over to one of the windows, and the young man stared out, with a million questions on his mind. When was the next time he would see the grounds outside or feel such pleasant warm light on his face? Was he crazy for choosing to tell his father himself, instead of just running? There was still a small instinct inside of him that told him to run. But a stronger part of him, that Zach really hadn’t been aware he had, held him there. It was only fair this way. This conversation probably wouldn’t have happened without that beautiful boy, but it wasn’t about him. It was, somewhat, but overall, it was about Zach. And that’s why it had to be him.
To comfort himself, Zach reminded himself that Theo had cast monitoring spells on him. Whatever happened, Theo would know. And Theo could tell…Theo would always know what to do. Knowing his cousin, his best friend, supported him helped make Zach stronger. He was in the room. His father would be there shortly.
The door opened at the other side of the room. It was not the largest room, yet still it seemed miles away. Zach turned away from the window and saw his father, dressed rather nicely for most people’s standards probably. However, Zach knew it wasn’t business attire; despite the early hour, he knew it was quite possible for his father to have been conducting business for hours, even while in the country.
“Good morning, Zacharias,” his father greeted him, closing the door behind him. Zach swore it sounded like a lock fell into place. Trapped. But a locked door wasn’t what truly frightened him. If his father didn’t want him to leave the room, it didn’t matter if the windows were open or the floo was ready in the fireplace. “You could just stop by yourself, without sending a message,” he commented.
“On a Saturday morning?” Zach asked, one eyebrow quirking upward, “I’d rather not hear the two of you.” His parents were still quite…active. It wasn’t something Zach usually commented on, though he knew it well enough. His parents had improved the warding on their bedroom since he was a small child.
“You make a good point,” his father laughed, stepping up into the center of the room. “Now, I love a good conversation as well as the next man,” his smile looked dangerous to Zach, “but you were rather insistent on this meeting, so I’m curious. Are you proposing to a lass? There hasn’t been an expenditure the size of a ring on that account.” Yes, that was a different topic that he would have called on his father to discuss, if it had been that. But it wasn’t, it really wasn’t.
“No,” Zach replied, pulling his hands apart, so they wouldn’t wring themselves. Oh what he would give for a cigarette, but Zach ignored the pack in his back pocket. There was no need to give his father ideas. “It’s about something else,” he added. They weren’t entirely unrelated, but they weren’t directly correlated. His news didn’t affect well…some stuff related to that.
His father motioned with both of his hands for Zach to continue. At least they were both empty at the moment. Was this it then?
“I am going to say my piece,” Zach spoke firmly, more firmly than he usually spoke to his father, “if you interrupt me before the end, you will not understand what I fully mean.” He paused there, specifically not continuing until his father gave a small nod. It was a serious conversation, so there were no jokes about spelling his mouth shut and throwing away his wand.
“I have figured out what I want in life,” Zach stated, trying to keep his voice calm and level, “Not just what’s expected or a job I like but what it is that is most important to me. I want to have a family. I want to be a father. And I want most of the children to be adopted. Not even Molly Weasley would want to have as many children as I want.” And there were a lot of Weasleys. That was the largest family he knew of.
“The family I want is probably not the one you have imagined for me,” Zach continued. His father’s mouth opened, as if to comment about adoption, but one of Zach’s hands came up. His father closed his mouth, and gave a deferential nod to continue. “It’s far more complicated than getting married and having a son,” Zach continued, “though I do still want to have a child or two that comes from my genes.”
There was a pause, a really long hard pause. But his father waited for him, with at least the appearance of patience. Zach had no idea how much his father was bursting out inside at wanting to know where it was all leading. “I’m gay,” Zach spoke the words, and his hand came up to stop his father from speaking, but his father looked almost speechless. “And I’m not going to lie to anyone who I’m with about who I am,” he spoke clearly, “I’m not going to stop being gay, and I’m never going to like a woman the way you like Mother. I do want to have a son, and a daughter, but not the way you want it to happen.”
Then he stopped. Zach had spoken his piece, and his spine was there, apparently. He didn’t run away, though he was more frightened than he had ever been in his life. His father knew he was gay. His father knew he was gay. His father knew he was gay. And his father was staring at him like he’d seen a ghost.
“It’s like Adele getting married all over again,” his father muttered so quietly Zach barely made it out. Years of listening to gossip helped. But the words confused him. His aunt had married Theo’s dad years and years ago. And how was Zach being gay like her getting married? Hadn’t she always been expected to get married? But he was too frightened to speak, when he was expecting his father’s wand to come out at any time and start crucioing him or something even worse that his father had learned on his travels.
His father turned away, walking to the windows and looking out, so Zach could only see his back. It was still straight, yet his father looked almost like he was slumping despite the good body posture. No one spoke for minutes. Zach’s father was one of the most intelligent and quick thinking people he knew, and he wasn’t used to this. He wasn’t used to his father not knowing what to say.
“This…conversation is happening because of a boy, isn’t it?” his father asked, his voice quieter than Zach was used to.
“There is a boy,” Zach replied, willing his voice to stay level, “but it’s not about him. It’s about me. And I’m not going to change.”
His father put his hands in his pockets, which Zach didn’t trust, and continued to look out the windows. “How do you know that?” his father asked, and there wasn’t…judgment in the question, at least not the vitriolic loathing Zach expected.
“I…know,” Zach replied firmly, “It’s not the first time I’ve loved a man.” Never had he imagined talking about his love life with his father, and it was strange, like it wasn’t him talking and it wasn’t his father he was talking with. The silence stretched on again, and it was almost as hard as the words, perhaps harder. At least when his father spoke, Zach got some clue as to what was going on.
“Cedric Diggory,” his father stated calmly, turning around.
Zach only stared, aghast. How?
“Processing old data with new information,” his father waved one hand. And those eyes were looking at him, in a way they hadn’t before, as if they hadn’t seen him before. “All of those times I helped you with your mother, with getting your own place,” the older Smith continued, “that was for boys?”
Zach nodded. His father was what…reprocessing everything? When did that finish and the torture begin?
“You have a lot of sex toys you don’t use then,” his father stated calmly. And he nodded again. His father started laughing. Zach was deeply confused. But his father stopped, collecting himself once again and looking at Zach more seriously than before. “Is everything else you told me the truth or just trying to smooth it over that you’re gay?” his father asked, so calm it scared Zach.
“It’s the truth,” Zach replied once he remembered to speak a few moments later.
“Well then,” his father grinned, “We’ll just see how much this boy loves you. Accio journal!” Zach’s journal came flying out, and his father kept it in hand with the smile still on his face.
“What?” Zach asked.
“You have a horrible poker face with me, Zacharias,” his father replied, pointing at him with the journal he held, “How you ever kept it from me you’re gay…I can only imagine what you thought I’d do.” His smile was getting far more disturbing, “That means you told that dear boy of yours about it, and he’ll get worried. And we’ll see when he comes.”
Zach just stared at his father, wondering what madness it was. His father played pranks, but this…was madness, utter madness. “It won’t work,” Zach replied, “I told him to stay away, not to come after me.” He had been quite firm about that.
“When has that ever worked with someone you loved?” his father asked, sitting down into one of the armchairs and spinning the closed journal on a finger. Zach hadn’t even known that was possible.
So Zach simply sat down, looking at his father and shaking his head. It wasn’t going to work. Theo would know he was okay.
But his father leaned forward, looking at him again – inspecting him. “There’s something I’m missing, aren’t I?” he asked rhetorically. His wand came out, and Zach recoiled. Spells flew around him, but they weren’t…doing anything to him. They were…inspecting? “Your boy is a healer?” his father asked.
Zach shook his head. His father was officially a bit creepy, creepy intelligent.
“Oh, no, of course not,” his father shook his head and leaned back a moment before standing, “Theodore…right?” The man went over to the bookcases, where some of boxes containing items Zach knew better than to open rested. The older Smith brought one back with him, relatively small in size.
“That wouldn’t do would it,” his father smiled, “for them to think you’re okay. That won’t test anything at all. Come here.” Zach’s eyes went wide, and he firmly sat back against his chair. His father rolled his eyes, “It isn’t going to actually hurt you, not one of these on their own. And I’ve endured a lot worse, Zacharias. It’ll just mess up those spells.” His father pulled his hand out of the box to show a palm-sized mechanical spider of sorts that Zach really didn’t like.
But he stood, trusting his father enough not to lie to him or anything. The ugly thing stepped onto his shoulder, its eight legs lightly digging in so as not to let go. “How long does it have to stay on me?” Zach asked. He had no doubt that spider was going to do his father’s bidding, not his own.
“As long as you’re here,” his father replied with a smile.
“In the shower?” Zach asked, mouth agape.
“The shower, the bed, and anywhere else you might go in the house,” his father chuckled.
“Even if he wants to come,” Zach pointed to the windows as the nearest entrance, “He won’t be able to get through the wards. They’re too strong.” No one had broken through them before. And Zach had no doubt they’d gotten nastier since Uncle Tewdric was murdered.
“Don’t worry,” his father walked toward the door, “I’ve weakened them for him.”