Wulfred (wulfredhammer) wrote in untold_logs, @ 2007-12-25 03:13:00 |
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Entry tags: | feorcwen, wulfred |
Talk
Who: Wulfred and Feorcwen.
What: Wulfred rides the Pelennor; UST; talking about Elladan
Where: The inn
When: Day/night after they arrived in Gondor
Feorcwen paced inside the room she was sharing with her freond. She hadn't seen her. She'd just ridden off in the morning, and she was worried.
Wulfred had ridden out to the Pelinnor on Hasufel, taking with her some bread in case she got hungry. She rode him hard across the field whirling him as if they were in a battle, her hammer in her hand striking at imaginary enemies. Hasufel, for his part, was in his element.
She stopped pacing eventually, and sat on the bed. She'd never felt more distant from- or more confused about- Wulfred, than the past week. She scratched at her brand again, eye twitching. Wulfred couldn't love her, she was a woman!
She didn't know what to think about either of them, Elladan or Feorcwen. The riding had helped keep her from thinking, but now she was tired, and sweat-soaked. And it was cold. And Hasufel would be hungry. She turned him and trotted back to the city, not sure what she would do once she was back at the inn.
And now she was in a strange city, and feeing somewhat scared and alone. She din'tlike Gondor. It was too...everything was bigger than strictly necessary.
Wulfred put Hasufel in the stable and took off her cloak as she entered the room she shared with her freond. She was shivering slightly from the cold and was about as sweaty as she got working in the forge.
Cwen glanced up, blinking, and shook her head, "Wulfred.."
"...I rode Hasufel on the Pelennor," she said, not sure what else to say at the moment.
"I thought so. Was it fun?" EVerything felt so awkward..
"It was good. Hasufel enjoyed himself." Wulfred sighed and ran a hand through her hair. "I...I needed it."
"I know you did. I'm sorry I have a big mouth." She ducked her head, playing with the hem of her dress and in general looking miserable.
Wulfred stepped closer and pulled Feorcwen to her, hugging her tight. She kissed her top of her head and rested her cheek against her hair. "You meant no harm by it," she said after a moment. "It was...too close a space to say it in. I felt...trapped."
"I...nevermind." She shook her head, and pulled away.
She pulled her back impulsively, then let her go again. The confusion was setting in hard again.
"Wulf!" Her protest was only halfhearted, and this time she stayed put.
Wulfred sat down on one of the bed and buried her face in her hands for a momenr. It would have been bad enough for them to have talked about her feelings if she'd known what they were herself, but she didn't. And they'd brought up things she had been trying not to think too deeply on.
She sat down next to her friend, and ran a hand through Wulf's hair, "It's...It'll be okay, min freond. It will be. He's..not so bad, Elladan is. I think I'm just..afraid of losing you to him." She meant as a friend. She thinks.
She leaned her head on Feorcwen's shoulder. "You will not lose me. I do not know how I feel about him. Not entirely. And I no longer know how I feel about..." You "...anything," she said softly.
"Anything," She repeated, wringing her hands into her dress. She tried to calm herself down again, taking deep breathes that were more like hyperventilating.
"Feorcwen..." Her brows knit together. Now she'd gone and scared her friend off, hadn't she?
"I'm..Im fine! I'm FINE!" She squeezed her eyes shut.
"...no. You are not." Because I am not. Wulfred sighed. "If you want me to...go elsewhere, I will..."
"What? Nyen!" She shook her head, and hugged herself closer to Wulfred.
Wulfred hugged her back tightly. "I...do not wish to ruin our friendship in any way."
"Nor do I. Which is why you should forget..this follow about...liking me that way, and pursue Elladan." Her mind was made up! Even if she regretted her words the moment she'd said them.
Wulfred blinked and flushed. "I...I cannot...it is not as easy as that..."
"Yes it is. Say it with me. 'Elladan is nice, and handsome.'"
He is, but..." She sighed. "It is not as easy as that!"
"Why is it not that easy?! You are a woman of the Mark. CLAIM what you want!"
"I don't KNOW what I want!" she yelled, turning and pinning Feorcwen to the bed. Her eyes flashed with anger and frustration and confusion, slowly giving way to shame as it hit her what she'd just done. She eased away from her friend and went to the other bed, curling up on her side and facing the wall.
Feorcwen's heart fluttered rapidly, and she stared up at the ceiling. Then she sat up, and looked over at her, "Min freond..."
Wulfred clenched her eyes shut. "...what?"
"Why are we fighting."
"...I met a man and everything fell apart..."
"It's not fallen apart, just confusing," She said quietly.
Wulfred swallowed hard. "I am afraid that it will, no matter what path I choose."
"Nyen! It will not fall apart. I will still be your friend, even if you are with an elf!" IT was a lot to admit for her, and spoke volumes about how much she cared.
"Nothing is decided. Nothing at all, other than I do not know what my own heart wants." She sighed and rolled onto her stomach, burying her face against the bed.
"What can I do to help? Shut up?"
"Just...do not speak to him about it. Do not tell me to choose him so vehemently." Wulfred turned her face toward her friend. "Just...let me work it out for myself...and pray I do not hurt either of you in the process."
"....." She exhaled, and nodded her head, "So be it." She got up, and walked over to the other bed, and hugged Wulf.
"Thank you," she said softly. She wrapped an arm around Feorcwen and sighed. "...stay close?" Her voice was oddly childlike as she asked it.
"Yes. I'll stay close min Wulfred." She wrapped her arms around her friend, and lay down with her.
Wulfred cuddled up against her. "Thank you...though I am confused, it would hurt to be alone just now."
"Won't leave you, I promise, min freond!"
She held her close, sighing and closing her eyes. She yawned. "Thank you, min freond..."
"Just go to sleep." Cwen propped herself up a bit, and watched her for a time, "Go to sleep..." She hummed a Rohirric lullaby.
Wulfred smiled and looked at her friend for a moment before her eyelids drooped and closed. Soon, she was fast asleep, one hand clenching Feorcwen dress.
Feorcwen was determined to stay awake all night and keep an eye on her, but she quickly joined her, drifting off to sleep.