secret santa (tapsanta) wrote in unraveled, @ 2016-12-31 00:25:00 |
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Entry tags: | secret santa |
2/2
FOR: Gia!
WHO: Pasque Meliflua
WHAT: If Pasque Meliflua Was Your Boyfriend (In the style of The Toast genius Mallory Ortberg’s If X Were Your Y series)
If Pasque Meliflua Was Your Boyfriend If Pasque Meliflua was your boyfriend his sister would share her super cute closet with you. It would be hov you and Ione would bond, and somehow, everything would be a perfect fit. If Pasque Meliflua was your boyfriend you’d never even notice that your pillows would be the perfect amount of soft, so consumed would you be in reading each other's stars through the charmed window above the bed. If Pasque Meliflua was your boyfriend all croissants would be chocolate ones, as they ought to be. If Pasque Meliflua was your boyfriend you’d detect a hint of Minty freshness. Daily. If Pasque Meliflua was your boyfriend you’d always be able to find your favourite perfume on sale. He would assume you smell that good naturally. If Pasque Meliflua was your boyfriend you would play Uncle Yarrow at chess. Your victories would be rare but hard won, and endear you to him most ardently. If Pasque Meliflua was your boyfriend you would picnic in libraries and adventure through antique stores, and he’d always love whatever treasure you dug out for him. If Pasque Meliflua was your boyfriend silver would never tarnish, and you’d know just the right occasions on which to bring it out. If Pasque Meliflua was your boyfriend stockings would never ladder, and he’d roll them down with the gentlest of hands. If Pasque Meliflua was your boyfriend peaches would always be in season, and you’d feed them to each other and kiss away the juice as soft moonlight filled the conservatory. If Pasque Meliflua was your boyfriend you wouldn’t finish each other's’ sentences. You would, however, be the most interesting conversationalists at the party. If Pasque Meliflua was your boyfriend, hangovers would cease to exist. If Pasque Meliflua was your boyfriend you’d never feel intimidated walking down the street. You’d always held your head up high, even when he wasn’t with you. His mother would be a fan of your superior posture. If Pasque Meliflua was your boyfriend you would know all you need to about fine wines, instinctively. Though of course, given the family cellars, you'd never pay for a bottle again. If Pasque Meliflua was your boyfriend you’d have your own theme music. It would, of course, be acceptably dramatic and orchestral. If Pasque Meliflua was your boyfriend your shared late night musings would never make you tired, and instead you would rise fresh as a daisy each new morn. If Pasque Meliflua was your boyfriend there would be date nights and date nights. The latter would be lost to starlit conversation, and in the morning you would remember nothing said but everything felt. If Pasque Meliflua was your boyfriend the house elves would never get your coffee wrong, and would have a fresh cup by your bed each morning when you wake. Most mornings you wouldn’t get a chance to drink it until it had cooled. If Pasque Meliflua was your boyfriend there would always be a blanket within reach when you wanted one, perfectly heavy and wonderfully warm. If Pasque Meliflua was your boyfriend you’d know what happiness in the voice of another sounded like, and the joy of putting it there. |