James nodded, accepting the response. And he watched. And he felt for Remus, he really did. But he knew better than to encourage someone to rail against themselves. And when one of the most selfless people he knew asked if he was being selfish, James couldn't hold in his disapproving, disagreeing sound.
"Fuck, Remus, don't you just want things sometimes?" He would have sounded exasperated, if it weren't for how wistful he sounded. "To just... want something so bad that aches, that it tears you up? You don't get to just check out from that, and you don't get to turn it off. You just... try to not let it make you totally crazy." He hadn't even realised he'd sat up properly until he was shrugging his shoulders. "And sometimes you wait. And you pray to whatever gods you've got to get you through the day."
It had to be worse, James thought, that Remus and Sirius were friends. At least Lily had completely hated his guts most of the time. But no, when they weren't trying to pull pranks at each other or taking the piss out of each other, they could be downright thoughtful. And that was worse. He knew it was worse. To be so close, and so fucking far away. It was positively exquisite, not that James was a masochist by any stretch. And not that Remus hadn't had it rough enough already. But that wasn't the point. Whinging about fair wasn't going to help anybody get through the day.
"And I'm not kidding-- a divided house, Moons? You're the house, so stop cutting yourself to bits. You're allowed to want things, you know?" Remus really could do to be a bit more selfish. "Yes, it sucks. Yes, it's hell. But it's all there is. You just... you pine. Until you're done pining. But we've fought quite enough wars already. Don't go starting one against yourself. There's no winner there."
And who knew? People changed. Their definition of an ideal relationship changed. And if either Remus or Sirius could give a little ground... who knew.