Remus was nervous. Lily had done all she could for him, but with the paltry clothing selection he had, that had mostly been emotional support. Now that she was gone - or rather, now that he had left, that support was gone.
Of course, he wasn't nearly as nervous as he could've been had last night's argument not occurred, he mused as he waited for Dora to arrive, picking at the thin, dirty tablecloth adorning the table he'd selected. Sirius was colourfully hacked off at him and Remus had fought back. Part of him regretted that now, regretted telling Sirius to "fuck off", but he didn't know what else he could have done.
No, that wasn't true either. He knew he should have gone over to Sirius' hut to demand answers in person. But then, he knew Sirius was right; he shouldn't be dating Dora. As her father had so helpfully pointed out, he was much older than she was. Perhaps his being here wasn't a coincidence, but to show her how her life could have been, how much better it would have been if he hadn't relented. If he'd done the right thing and kept refusing her advances. If she was allowed the opportunity to look for another man, one better suited. A better, less dangerous, younger and more attractive man.
Remus felt like rubbish and considered leaving more than once. He could make his excuses later, stating a busy schedule or a friend in need, anything not to make her feel too bad for being stood up. Because he wouldn't have stood her up, would he? It would've been something else, something with positive connotations. He would've saved her from a dreary evening out with an older, far from interesting man. Werewolf. Whatever.
And Sirius hated him. Remus didn't exactly understand why, but it was clearly related to his dating Dora.
Truth be told, Remus understood Sirius' disgust. He was disgusted at himself, after all. But he was lonely and all those things Sirius had accused him of, that day he'd punched him in the face. But he wished- So desperately, he wished his friend could just be happy for him, hope that things were going to go well. Remus wished Sirius could at least try to pretend he wanted him to be happy. Instead, he'd lost his best friend over it.
It wasn't even worth it. Though he wanted her to, Dora didn't mean anything to him beyond the potential for happiness. But without Sirius in his life, what was the fucking point?
He looked up, having decided to leave, and caught Dora's grin. Oh, bollocks, he thought, sitting back down as though he'd merely been shifting in his seat and shot her a stiff smile in response. When she went down, a surprised "Oh!" escaped and he got up from his seat again.
He reached her a moment later to help her up. "You do that a lot, don't you? Maybe we should ask for cushions to sit on the floor," he teased.