Who: Katie Bell and Tavish Urquhart When: Thursday Late Night / 10/21 Where: Tavish's Flat Rating: High Warnings: Language, Violence Summary: Katie lets her heart lead and pays the price for it, losing her wand.
Katie had gone to the safehouse, found out where it was, and she'd left Dean there. She'd had to explain that she'd needed to take care of some unfinished business, but she didn't tell them that it was Tavish that was that business. She had to tell him what had happened. Warn him that his fellows would be looking for her. She paused, though, her nerves high. No one knew about them, no one who would tell.
She had to tell him that she was being hunted. She had to tell him that she needed to run. She disapparated from outside of the safehouse to arrive at Tavish's, hoping that Silas wasn't there. She didn't need to drag the poor girl into this, not at this level. She didn't deserve that.
Even if Silas was here, Katie still had to warn him. Tell him that he needed to let her go. The thought scared her more than the Death Eaters hunting her.
With the knock on the door Tavish wandered out to the foyer to answer. He yawned, covering his mouth with the back of his hand. All of this time at home was making him not only bored but lazy too. He was going to have to find something to do that wouldn't infringe on his "healing". Honestly he hadn't had this many visitors since- he didn't know when. It was nice to see people but there was a part of him that was exhausted by all of it. "And today we have..." he said as he opened the door. Quickly his flippant attitude changed. "Bells," he stepped aside to let her in, so glad to see her that he didn't recognise the worried expression.
Her eyes moved into his flat before she stepped across the threshold, drawing her arms around her as she did. Her body still ached, though she'd been healed already. She ran her palm over her face, edgy, unhappy, before she turned to face him.
"Tavish. Blast it, I have to tell you something." she said, though she stopped and held her breath. She didn't want to tell him, but she had to.
Tavish looked at her and realized just how bad off she was. He frowned and closed the door, stepping forward. His hands found her arms, rubbing lightly, his expression one of concern. "What's wrong, Katie?" he asked her, looking into her eyes. "Are you okay, baby?" he asked, worried and defensive of her already.
"I had my meeting about Quidditch today." Her breath came out in a rush and she lowered her eyes. Fuck. Out it came. "Goyle figured me out for what I am. I'm a member of the Order. A rebel."
Tavish frowned, looking at her. It didn't quite sink in. "Wait, back up. How did they-" he stopped touching her, walking back into the flat, almost pacing, his hand dragging over his face. "That's a little bit more than a rebel, Katie," he finally snapped. It wasn't that it was a surprise exactly. But how could she be so stupid?
"The bastard put two and two together. My parents. Dumbledore's Army. I fought for Potter. Not in the AMP." Katie frowned as he pulled back away from her, wishing that he hadn't. Her jaw set as he snapped and she nodded. "I know. I know, Tavish." She stepped towards him and then stopped, frowning. "I'm sorry that I didn't tell you. I can't stay here, though. I have to go."
Tavish pinched the bridge of his nose and shook her head. "And what? You admitted it? Katie how could you even join with them? At a time like this? You have your fucking freedom. They are crawling in holes." She didn't need to tell him really. "You shouldn't have told me. Someone could have- I don't know. No. Katie you're not going anywhere. I'll- I'll keep you safe here. We'll figure out a way to convince them you're not with the Order. IN the meantime no one can curse or hex you here and we'll... we'll just figure something out."
"No, I didn't admit it! I protected myself and ran. That's all I could do." She snapped back, her mouth opening in protest. "Tavish! These are my friends. The people I care about. I can't just let them rot. I was doing spy work for them, since the Death Eaters didn't suspect me." She paused then, feeling a knot tighten in her throat. She felt sick. "I can't stay here. I am with the Order and I won't lie about it. Not to keep my own arse safe."
"Well running is going to look pretty-" he didn't finish it. What other option had she had. "You were at the ministry?" he asked her, trying to piece together the important facts in a backwards order. "Who cares if they are your friends?! It's war Bell! You swearing alliegence to a dying team is only going to make you a martyr and you can't do anything for anyone that way!" he snapped back at her, in no mood for the Gryffindor mindset right now. This was literally life and death.
"Wait- you- spy?" he looked at her, almost glaring, trying not to jump to assumptions. His hands moved to her shoulders though. "You're not going anywhere. What do you mean you were spying?"
Katie couldn't believe him. He was telling her that she didn't need to care about her friends. Her friends. "I swore bloody allegiance, Tavish! I don't just give up on the people I care about. I can't." She threw her hands up, growing frustrated. "I believe in what they do! That everything is wrong now."
She reached up to knock his hands away and she held her hands up level with his chest, her words rushed. "I was gathering information for the Order! I could get to places others couldn't, speak to others people couldn't."
"You're not the only one who believes things are wrong here, Katie, but what good is it if you are dead or too weak to do anything because you're starving to death?!" he snapped back. While his anger may have seemed hypocritical it was driven from pure worry for her. Something he didn't want to examine himself.
He never thought he'd feel this way. That he'd be thinking these thoughts. But what she was saying- could he trust her? "Katie," he started cautiously, his eyes moving to hers. All he wanted was the truth.
"What good is it if I'm towing the line and kissing ass just so I can live?" she asked, her voice growing harder and louder. She couldn't believe what he was suggesting! That she follow along with things just to survive. "What good is it if I'm a bloody coward?" As he looked at her, gave her that tone of voice, she felt guilt grip her. "Tavish." She didn't want to tell him.
"Waiting for a better time? Waiting for an opportunity to do something to change this?" he pushed forward. Frankly he didn't know himself. He hadn't wanted to join the Death Eaters in the first place and now that they were showing an appalling disregard for his life he thought more and more about doing something. But his something included mutiny, not merely withdrawing.
"You're bloody alive!" he snarled as if that was a difficult concept.
His eyes tightened and his hands moved back to her shoulders, pressing her back against the wall. "Tell me Bell," he demanded dangerously.
"Change this? By going along with it? Are you mad?" she asked, her voice arch as she stood her ground. She had no idea about his planned mutiny. Her jaw tightened as he snarled at her and she felt her own ire rising. Her temper was slow to burn, but when it did, it burned hot.
"Or what?" she asked with a growl, reaching up to push him away. "Let go of me now!"
He didn't let go, or back away. "Tell me Katherine Bell," he growled, pressing harder if possible. His anger was swelling up within him, consuming him.
She placed her hands flat on his chest and tried to push again, her eyes burning with tears of anger and shame. If she wanted him to stop suggesting that she stay with him, that he rescue her, she knew how to do it. All she had to do was tell the truth, exaggerate it enough that he'd feel betrayed.
"I used you! I used the fact that you were a Death Eater and fed information to the Order!"
He stared. Despite his demands he didn't think she'd really say it, really admit to it- really do it. All he could do was stare with betrayl, hurt, anger in his eyes. "How could you?" he asked snarlingly but quiet. Anger was bunching in his muscles and he knew he'd hit her soon. She'd used him. "Is this what it's been all along?" he asked, his hands tightening.
She had to say yes. The truth would have been no, but she had to say it. If she said 'no', he'd go back to thinking he could save her. He wasn't in the position to save anyone. If he got caught up in her troubles, he would suffer. Silas would suffer.
"Yes."
He snarled, his lip curling as the single word tore him deeper than he knew it could. Tavish hadn't wanted to admit how much she meant to him- how different she was to him- but the pain was undeniable. She shouldn't have been able to affect him this way. "You self, decieving bitch," he spit, his hand raising to backhand her before he knew what he was doing. After he didn't feel guilty. "you have thirty seconds to get out of my site before I betray you the way you've done to me." There was nothing but hate and violence in his eyes now.
Pain flickered in Katie's eyes as he snarled and she opened her mouth to protest the word, to protest her mistake, but his hand snapped against her face and she kept her head turned to the side, stunned that he actually hit her. Tasting blood, she looked back at him, her eyes hurting. She couldn't keep the raw agony over what she'd done from her eyes. "Tavish."
Tavish was barely seeing anything- he couldn't see her pain through his own. He was sickened he'd hit her but he was sickened he'd ever touched her- ever loved cared for her. "GO! Or I will turn you in Bell!" he snarled back, stepping away from her so he couldn't harm her again, though his muscles bunched with the need to do it. "Crawl back to your Order!" he yelled, his voice raw, emotional.
"Then bloody do it!" she cried, her cheeks flushed as she faced him down, pushing away from the wall to stalk after him. That he'd believe it so easily stunned her. Did he really believe that she'd betray him? Clearly he did. Passion gripped her, hurt and anger that he'd actually think it of her.
Tavish turned on her quickly, angry that she was still here and scared for her himself. "I don't betray those that I care about so easily!" he yelled back. If he'd been himself, if he could trust his wand, he'd have put her in a body bind. He was serious. "Do you realize what my duty is? You've just outed yourself as not only an Order member but a spy. Against not only my Lord but myself!" He ripped his sleeve up quickly. "I am a Death Eater, Bell."
"Yet you believe I could just do it like that." she said, her voice dangerous and low. he sat at his bedside night after night, trying to see if he was alright, if he was going to wake up, and one word from her, one lie destroyed it all. She reached up and wiped the blood from her lip. Her hand twitched towards her wand and she gave one shake of her head. A duel? Did he want a duel? "No you're not. You're just a man with a tattoo, Tavish."
"I trust what you tell me, but perhaps that has been foolish all along," he growled at her. "What do you expect from me? To trust you- not to trust you- I can't win!" He threw his hands up, turning away from her a moment before turning back again. "So what? You're a woman of principle and beliefs and you're going to martyr yourself and turn on those who trust you and me? I've just got ink. I don't have principles or beliefs. Is that it?" His hand went around her neck, snapping out like a viper, moving her back against the wall again. His hand was firm but didn't crush her or restrict her hair. He did hold her there though, his strength strong. "Do you want me to tie you up and call my superiors? I gave you an out you fool."
"Do you believe in what they say? Blood purity? Slavery? This farce of a marriage?" she hissed, her eyes widening as his hand closed around her throat. Her own hand came up around his wrist, holding it, and she breathed a little faster. Was this the Tavish she didn't know? Was this the Death Eater?
"Why? Why did you give me an out? I'm a dirty rebel. You'd be rewarded for handing me in. Think of it. They'd probably let you keep me. Wouldn't that be sweet?" she snarled.
"I believe I don't owe explanations to traitors," he answered her, his eyes still angry and dangerous, fixed on her. Did he believe in those things? He didn't know. He didn't like muggles, they were foolish and naive. He didn't think the answer was annihalation though.
"You are such a fucking idiot, Bell," he told her, tightening his hand around her neck. It would be so easy. Wipe her out. Just like that. Right here. He'd never shown such amazing self control before, in all honesty and he knew why he was able. As she went on though he snapped. "Because I thought I loved you you vapid bitch!" he yelled back. "You want to be my slave, Katie?" he moved closer to her, pressing his body against hers, his face closer to hers. "You want to serve my wife? Bend over when I tell you to? Is that what you're begging for? Me to control you?" his hand moved to her leg, dragging up it as he dug his fingers into the flesh of her thigh.
"Answer me!" she snapped, a hint of desperation in her voice. If he told her that he believed in those things? She'd give it up. She'd apparate out. She'd be gone from here in seconds. Some part of her, though, clung to the idea that he was a good man. That he didn't want these things. That he was the same boy she'd been mad about in school.
Her breath caught at his answer and not because his hand was wrapped around her throat. Her eyes stung with tears and she wanted to answer him, wanted to tell him that she loved him, but she couldn't. It'd sound hollow after what she'd said, admitting to using him, then lying. Even if he didn't know it was a lie.
"No." Katie answered, her voice thick as she stared him in the eye, her lips thinning as he gripped her thigh. "Tavish..."
"I owe you nothing!" he yelled back as she snapped, his voice raw with emotion though desperation wasn't among them. "I'm not telling you another single thing about myself. How fucking stupid do you think I am?" he went on, his eyes boring into hers.
There was a part of him that fed off of the fear in her eyes, the tears welling there, the thickness in her voice. His hand moved higher. "This is what you're asking for Bell. This is what you want. You want to be abused. You want to be killed, sacraficed for your precious ideals that are going to kill you! You don't deserve any better than this."
She didn't say anything to that, knowing that she'd slammed the door shut, the only door she'd opened in ages with someone she was in love with. She loved her friends, her family, but Tavish was different.
And now? The man looking at her wasn't Tavish. The man gripping her throat, the man pushing her against the wall, that wasn't the man she loved. "I'm not asking for anything, Tavish. I'm telling you to let me go! You can't save me without damning yourself and everyone around you." she choked, tightening her grip on his wrist.
"I don't want to save you!" he screamed suddenly. "You don't deserve saving! You don't deserve anything!" He was yelling, almost frantic, desperate now, his hand tightening unconciously as he continued to tense. His head was starting to hurt, his vision blurring quickly. "And you don't have the right to tell me what to do. You are the one who begged to be turned in. I'm only granting your wish," he finished whispering in her ear roughly.
Katie flinched at the yell, turning her head into the wall, squeezing her eyes shut. Two tears slipped from her eyes, her lips tight as she shook in his grip. What had she done? She hadn't thought. She'd tried to break things and she'd succeeded. Too well.
"You think I want to go into slavery? To be tortured? Executed?" Her own voice was low, hoarse with his grip, her throat working against his hand. Dropping her own fingers, she slid them into the edge of her robe, intent on seeking out her wand.
"I warned you," he snarled. "You didn't believe me. I'm not a man of my word, apparently. You don't get to decide who I am. I told you to leave." When he felt her hand move his own snatched out quickly, "Ah, ah." The hand around her throat moved to her wrist as his other sought her wand. "You don't value this anyway. You're throwing it away. You're throwing everything away!" His eyes were wild again as he focused on her again. There were tears streaming down her face and they broke his heart. His eyes closed a moment, his hand relaxing. Tavish took a step back, still holding her wand. "Go," he told her, his tone tired. The anger still burned within him, his head pounded, but the breaking of his heart overshadowed all of that.
Katie knew he wasn't bluffing. He'd turn her in. She'd severed that tie with one neat word -yes- and now she was going to pay for it. He might not have been this man when she came in, but he was now. Her lips parted in protest as he snatched her wand and she reached for it, glassy eyes meeting his, clouded with tears. She felt his fingers relax and she swallowed, taking a deep breath. He stepped back, but still had her wand.
She hesitated, looking at the wand in his hands. Surely he didn't mean to keep it. She froze, her brow furrowing as she waited that heartbeat to see if he would return it. She didn't want to have to fight him for it, but...she couldn't do anything without it.
"GO!" he screamed, wondering how much fear you had to put into her before she would finally understand that he was a dangerous man. "Thirty seconds and I am turning you in Katherine!" he continued screaming, his voice raw and his eyes wet. His hand was gripped tightly on her wand.
"Not without my wand." Katie's voice was quiet, though she was anything but calm. She was shocked and angry that he would think to keep it. "I can't...I can't apparate out of here. If I leave here, I'll be caught. Without my wand, I'm as good as dead."
"You're already as good as dead," he told her, his eyes still emotional but his voice flat, serious. "You're not getting your wand. You're getting a second chance at freedom. Take it or leave it."
"Tavish!" Her voice was panicked as she hesitated, backing towards the door. Merlin, Circe, she couldn't give up her wand. She needed it. It was one of the only ways she could stay alive. Not get caught. Without magic, she couldn't function. She wasn't like the muggleborns. She didn't know how to survive without it. "Please."
"Please?! Please?! After what you've done you expect mercy from me?! Is your life not enough?! Go before I take that as well!" He couldn't avoid the anger that was in his body, his whole being. He wanted to hurt her, he wanted to make her pay- but he cared for her, she meant so much, she was different.
Shaking her head, Katie fought off the sick feeling in her stomach, the panic at being stripped of her power. Her eyes burned with tears as she breathed harder, unknowing of what to do. What would she do? She couldn't cast wards, couldn't apparate, couldn't do anything without her wand. He was crippling her and she was going to be caught in no time without her wand. Giving him one last pained and pleading look, she found the door handle with her hand and twisted it, turning to leave.
That look would be burned on his heart forever. The part of him that felt the sting of her betrayal was gleeful at the look, the panic. The part of him that still cared deeply, foolishly, for her crippled at the sight. He nearly called out, called her back, tried to talk sense into her. He couldn't though. He couldn't even trust her. As she slid through the door he cast a very simple, rudimentary tracking charm. At least that way he would be able to keep an eye on her. Of course with his magic, who knew how successful it would be.