Who: Alicia 'Al' Spinnet and Augustus 'Gus' Pye. When: August 1994. Around midnight. - Alicia is in her 6th year, Gus in his 7th year. Where: Hogwarts. The Hospital Wing. Rating: PG-13 at maximum for a bit of innuendo and a lot of blushing. Warnings: Innuendo. Rude mental images like zombie!Filch. Teenagers being annoyed with fake!Moody. Summary: The beginning of a beautiful friendship...or so. It also features the explanation for their nicknames of each other. Status: Closed | COMPLETE.
For a person who was so notoriously interested in everything, Augustus Pye sure went out of his way to evade the hospital wing. It might have been because he mainly connected the place with the disgusting smell of Skele-Gro and the even more detestable smell of Madame Pomfrey's mint drops, but chances were that it was only because the place was so extremely boring. Granted, it was night and he was supposed to be asleep but he still couldn't get the past day out of his head.
It seemed that his final year was going to be unique even by Hogwarts standards, which was saying something. Quidditch had been cancelled (no big loss there) and there would be the TriWizard Tournament held at Hogwarts (unnecessary distraction. He had N.E.W.T.s to prepare for. There wasn't any time for tournaments of any kind). And of course the new DADA-teacher. Mad Eye Moody and his controversial teaching methods. Truth be told, Gus had been as curious as all the other students, but when Moody started demonstrating the Cruciatus curse on a spider, the Ravenclaw's Irish temper had flared and he'd spoken up. In retrospect, he shouldn't have been surprised that he'd be picked as a ''volunteer'' to demonstrate the next curse, Imperius. Needless to say that Gus had sung a couple of dirty songs that were likely to be talked about for a couple of days at least and he had meekly obeyed the teacher and performed a couple of silly gymnastics, one of which resulted in him losing his equilibrium, stumbling and breaking his leg. And thus Gus found himself in the centre of boredom. All alone. And bored. And slightly mortified at the thought that half of Ravenclaw house knew by now what he had done in class.
Gus sighed and rubbed his face wearily. He was still bored. He looked around, attempting to locate a book when a sudden noise made him freeze.
"Hello?" Gus whispered. "Is anybody here?"
This year hadn't been good for Alicia's physical condition. She had grown accustomed to using quidditch, as well as all of the obligatory practices, to get out a fraction of her pent up energy. Without the team to keep her busy she was back to her usual antics. Only worse. On the bright side, the more time she spent in the hospital room was less time she spent in detention. After six years the professors were finally catching on that having them all in a room together for detention only led to more mayhem.
It was no surprise that she couldn't sleep. For as much time as she spent here the place still gave her the creeps. She was currently recovering from a severe broken leg, a little piece of bone had even been popping out. A first year threw up all over the place and Alicia was carried laughing the entire way to the wing. She hadn't planned on sliding down that staircase but when she spotted that empty rubbish lid laying all alone she knew that it was meant for a greater purpose. Stair surfing.
Skin mending creme burned like a bitch and it wasn't long before Alicia was up and wandering around the room. What she hadn't counted on was someone else being there. At the sound of the voice she fell backward, letting out a curse as pain surged through her leg. "Yeah, the bloody boogie monster. Give a girl a heart attack, why don't you." Standing up all residual annoyance disappeared and was replaced by a sudden curiosity. She made her way to the foot of his bed, looking at him a moment before grinning. "You have some flesh eating disease or can I sit? No pus either, pus freaks me out."
Gus' jaw dropped and he found himself speechless for a moment. He opened and closed his mouth once or twice, but no sound came out. Naturally, the witty replies would come to him only a couple of hours later when he'd already done a splendid job of making a fool of himself. Fact was that meeting a girl in the middle of the night (wearing his bloody pyjamas!) was the last thing Gus had expected and naturally, this girl just had to be something like a force of nature. He cleared his throat and suppressed the urge to hide underneath the covers.
"No, you're safe. No bugs, germs, pus or other body fluids. Aside from the usual, of course." He paused, then realised how must have sounded. "I mean, blood and saliva and bile and lymph and...you know, every solvent that can be found inside the human body."
Quite honestly, this specification didn't make things much better. He still sounded like a prat. Gus sighed and tried to change the topic, because he really really wanted her to stay. She was not only a distraction but also curiously fascinating. It felt a bit like watching a force of destruction, trapped in a cute, girl-shaped form. Highly fascinating!
"Uhm," Gus said eloquently. "I'm on pain medication. Hence the incoherency." He bit his bottom lip nervously. "Do you still want to sit?"
She was going to make a comment on his impersonation of a fish but quickly remembered that most people weren't used to overnight visits to the hospital wing. That and it could be the unfortunate side effect to some hex. Kind of a useless side effect but there you go.
Alicia merely blinked at him a few times before promptly bursting out into laughter. "Right then, keep your fluids tucked safely inside at all times or be sure you have control of your aim." Alicia quickly decided that this kid was weird but wonderfully amusing. It was like he never talked to a girl before. Poor sod, thinking she was a girl.
Alicia didn't respond to his question, merely plopped onto the end of his bed with as little grace as possible. "Hate that bloody stuff. Makes me act like a zombie after a feeding. You're not sounded too out of it though, just a bit like a textbook with a mouth." Alicia propped herself up on her elbows, looking him over curiously. "No need to be nervous of me," she said quickly, not paying mind that it would be polite to feign ignorance. "I'll only deck you if you check out my rack. Ah! Made you think about it, didn't I? Seriously though, don't. So what are you in for?"
It was all said with a cheery grin, which probably did nothing to ease the other boys nervousness. She quickly realised that she never caught his name. Ah well, injuries first, names later.
Well, being laughed at was certainly the better option, Gus figured. She could have slapped him and Merlin knew, the girl looked like she knew how to punch. He suddenly found smiling back a little easier to do. She had a sense of humour, so all in all, Gus figured he could have really found worse company in here.
He shoved the blanket away and, imitating her relaxed position, sat cross-legged on the bed. However, despite relaxing ever so slightly, Gus made sure to keep a certain distance. You never knew. The night was still young and the slap to his face might still come. Of course then she started going on about zombies and Gus raised his eyebrows in amusement.
"So whenever you see blood, you go 'Braaaaaaains'?" He asked, grinning like a loon at the mental image. The tension left his shoulders and Gus managed to relax for about half a second when she brought the topic to her breasts and naturally, the moment she said not to check them out, Gus did exactly that. For a talking textbook, he was still very much human and in this case that had the consequence that he decided the girl had a pretty impressing rack and then immediately blushed like crazy. He forced himself to look somewhere else and silently cursed her for causing an uproar in his hormones. What did she think he was? A bloody monk? Teenaged, hormone-crazed boy here, Gus wanted to yell. But didn't. She really did look as if she could knock him out if she put her mind to it.
"I'm here because I broke my leg." Gus told the blanket, then raised his gaze as embarrassment made way for anger. "The new DADA-teacher gave us a very memorable lesson on the Unforgivables." His eyes were blazing with indignation now. "He tortured a spider. How can you torture anyone, just to make a point? What is wrong with the man?"
Alicia's grin grew as he became more comfortable around her. Having someone to talk to always made these nights go by faster. The fact that he didn't seem like a drone also helped. Good Merlin, the man had dimples. This night was only getting better and better.
"Exactly. Then you start chomping on people and they get all offended. I mean really, like these teeth are going to do that much damage. Alas, people are completely closed minded." Alicia giggled, giggled when he started to blush. It was a mean trick and she knew it. She started doing that when she got on the Quidditch team. Let them notice the boobs and then they could move on and she could resume being one of the guys. "Careful there, it looks like you're running a fever? You're all red. You feeling ok?"
Yes, she was evil. Her grin was proving it.
"Me too!" Her excitement quickly gave way to a scowl. "You're serious. You're bloody serious. Unforgivables? Merlin's balls," she spat, leaning further into the bed frame. There had been rumours but she hadn't paid them any mind. Looked like she would be back here tomorrow night after her DADA class. Great. "Bloody pounce, that's who. Unforgivables are for cowards and pansies. Buggar, I liked the crazy bastard too. So what caused the break?"
Gus tried to stay rightfully indignant. He really did, but the mental image of the girl-with-the-rack-he-wasn't-allowed-to-look-at-but-did-anyway (very secretly) chomping on someone's leg was his undoing. Laughter bubbled up from deep inside his chest and he quickly pressed a hand to his mouth. They mustn't be too loud or Madame Pomfrey would swoop down on them. It took him a couple of moments to get a grip on his mirth and by the time he did, tears of laughter were in his eyes. "I think it pretty assuming of people to think you'd nibble on just anyone. Imagine gnawing on Filch – I mean, that's plain disgusting. Who knows where the man has been? Or what has been on his mind?" Gus shuddered at that. "I'm sure there's some sort of zombie-etiquette to prevent unfortunate snacks like that."
However, once again his moment of relaxation was not meant to last long. She inquired about his blush and immediately Gus' gaze dropped down to her breasts again and of course the blush immediately got worse. Any more and his head might explode, he feared and reached for a glass of water on the nightstand. "You want some?" He paused, his mind still in the gutter. And then Gus blushed even more furiously as he caught up on his accidental double-entendre. "Water." He finished lamely. "I meant water. Want some water?" Oh Merlin, kill me now.
Gus offered the glass to her and forced his mind to the only topic that infuriated him enough to distract him from places his eyes weren't allowed to see. "Moody." He said, his voice still a little shaky. "It's not like his lessons weren't impressing – because they were. I mean, you obviously can't get much better than Professor Lupin, but I had high hopes. He's just too..." Gus shrugged, not entirely sure how to put it. "He seems extremely intense." Which was a lose translation of He scares the crap out of me. "I mean, I agree that we need to learn about the Unforgivables and how to counter them, but I didn't need to see them in order to know they're wrong. He had a point. The lesson was memorable but...but it's wrong. He then put Imperio on some of us and taught us that it's possible to fight it off." Gus smiled ruefully. "Apparently me fighting it off involved missing a step and falling. And here we are. How did you get your ticket into this place?"
"Ah, that's where you're mistaken. Flinch has been a zombie for years. His clothes are that baggy to hide his decaying flesh. Don't worry, we'll have you caught up in no time." Alicia was ignoring that comment about what has been on Flinch's mind. There were some things you just didn't think about. Or you did but didn't use it until someone had something to snort out of their nose. "Mrs. Norris is around to smell out the new flesh. Never trust a cat, they're twisted creatures."
Alicia feighed a scowl, crossing her arms over her chest which only worked to push them up more. "Oi! I'm not hiding a pair of eyes down there." Alicia couldn't stay serious as his blush only deepened. Poor guy was one naughty joke away from an aneurysm. She was going to have to torture him more often. People just don't blush like they ought to. "I'd love some of your water," she said, waggling her eyebrow and making a show of looking him up and down. "Tell me, do you perv on all the patients or am I a special occasion?"
"He's seems one loon short of a nut house." Which is probably why Alicia enjoyed his class so much. Still, if he was using those kind of hexes than maybe he was more batshit crazy than she realized. "I don't know, I can maybe see why to use them. Once you see them you can't be afraid, you know? It takes out the unknown factor. Still, I'll be fucking pissed if he tries that out on me. I wonder what the punishment is for clocking your professor. Haven't had to find that one out yet. On the upside, at least you tried to fight it. There is no shame in that." Alicia had heard about the Unforgivable and by far Imperio scared her the most. She didn't like not being in control of herself, of having something else take over. It was a cowards spell and only a coward would use it.
"Went sledding down the moving staircases. I'm a bit of a regular here," Alicia said, almost sheepishly for once. She took a drink of the water she had been offered and shrugged. "Just when you get the hang of it they go and surprise me. I'm Al by the way, in case you were wondering."
"That would explain the smell at lest. Filch has always had this certain...aroma." Gus nodded sagely, then gave Al a bright smile. "I take it you're a dog-person as well, then. Too bad Hagrid's monster-dog would probably get eaten by the infernal cat and...oi! Stop doing that!"
Gus made a half-hearted gesture at Al's breasts, his face twisted somewhere between a disapproving scowl and a mad blush. "And no." Gus informed her regally. "I only perv on you." He paused, then realised what he'd just said. "I mean, my other patients if you could call them that, are over the ripe age of seventy-six and no amount of pushing will have a...remotely..." He swallowed against his suddenly dry throat and forced his gaze up to lock with Al's eyes. He was quickly losing grip on his accent. "...similar...you know. And they're not really my patients, because I'm really just helping my mam out, so you could say I'm perving exclusively on you." Which at least cleared things up a little. Gus frowned again. "And I'm not perving and if I start babbling again, would you please be so kind and grab that glass of water and pour it over me? Clearly I need that sometimes." Gus sighed. Some part of him was sure he should feel uncomfortable and mortified at having this sort of conversation in the first place, but curiously enough, he felt remotely fine with this. Teasing and blushing and all. She was surprisingly uncomplicated. Even if she was doubtlessly a little crazy. His kind of crazy, it seemed.
Gus' lips twisted into a smile, then promptly his mouth went slack again in astonishment. "Sledding down moving staircases?!?" He squeaked, eyes wide like saucers. "Are you...you're crazy." He paused and thought for a moment. "Or Gryffindor." He said, as if that were the very same thing. "You're lucky you didn't break your neck!"
Suddenly he was worried. Granted, Al had lost a couple of her marbles, but he enjoyed her company and would feel really sorry if she broke her neck sledding down staircases. Stark, raving mad, she was. "I really believe you'd try to deck a professor." He said, trying for disapproval but only succeeding to add a distinct tone of awe to his voice. There had been times he'd longed to do that himself.
Gus shook his head and finally remembered his good manners. "My name is Augustus, by the way. Gus to my friends." Or more commonly 'Oi, you!'
"Doing what," she asked innocently, batting her eyes and everything. "Just a bit. Dogs are at least loyal. Cats would sell you out for a piece of week old tuna without a second thought." Alicia tucked her foot under herself, playing with the hem of her pyjama bottoms. That was the great part about night, she didn't have to wear one of those sodding skirts.
"Only perv on me? That's just sad, mate. We have to get you out more." It was like perving on another guy. Unless he was into that sort of thing. Judging by his response to her breasts she was going to go with no. Merlin, it would be hilarious to see what happened to him when he was surrounded by women in bikinis. Alicia couldn't help but make a mental note to make sure that happened. "Patients? I'm not sure we've reached the stage where you get to play Doctor. You could at least buy me a drink first. I'm not pouring water on you either. Hate to break it to you but I'd beat you in a wet t-shirt contest hands down. Not that I'm going to stop you from stripping down, feel free to do what you've got to do." She knew it was mean to keep teasing him but she couldn't bring herself to stop. He was so hopelessly cute and it was nice to feel like a girl once and awhile. Not that she'd ever admit it. Ever
He squeaked. He honest to Merlin squeaked. It wasn't a moment before she was curled over clutching her stomach in laughter. She could barely make any sounds as amusement stole her ability to take an actual breath. "No worries," she said simply, her cheeks flushed from a lack of oxygen. "I have other bones to break before I get to that one. Besides, thick heads means a thick neck. It's science."
"Of course I would, if they deserved it. I hate people who think that a title means someone should be considered a god. Schmucks get jobs too, better ones than you'd think." She did have respect for professors but it wasn't unconditional. She'd give most the benefit of the doubt but once lost it was nearly impossible to get any respect or trust back. "You should too, if they deserve it. You can't let people knock you around." He seemed like a nice guy, nice guys always got screwed over. She'd hate that to happen to him, they couldn't all be a jaded as she was.
"Augustus. Gus-Gus. I can work with that."
Gus shook his head, torn somewhere between amusement and shock. Or perhaps the shock was so great that his mind refused to function normally? Either way, he was more than happy to sit across Al, unashamedly steal glances at her rack and talk. All that was missing now were sweets. He bit his bottom lip in thought, his gaze moving to Al's eyes. Of course she'd have to talk about food now. Tuna. Not his choice of food right now, but Merlin! He hadn't eaten since he'd been brought in here and clearly there was only one solution. In retrospect, of course, Gus would claim temporary insanity induced by something Al had done, because clearly she was at fault here. For the present, however, it seemed like a brilliant idea.
"We need to sneak out of here." There. It was out and he could hardly believe he'd said it. Al was to blame. Naturally. "We need to get you your drink and personally, I fancy some food, too." Gus flashed his dimples, feeling adventurous for once. "Fancy a kitchen run?" He straightened his back and looked around the hospital wing. His wand should be here somewhere and – there! Gus grinned, a plan forming in his mind.
"I reckon your leg hurts probably as much as mine, so I could try to play doctor without any perving and create invisible casts for us, so we can walk all the way. And how are you with Transfiguarion? Do you think you can turn our bathrobes into something looking like normal robes? Or even better, something to make us resemble Beauxbatons or Drumstrang students? No one would bother us then, they all suck up to the guests." He was talking animatedly, hands flying as he gesticulated and it was almost like playing the drums back at his uncle's pub. This was...what was the word for it?...oh, yes - fun!
In fact, he was so agitated, that it took him a moment to realise Al was doubled over in laughter. Oh. His oh-so-manly squeak. Gus blushed again. "Or," he mumbled, "Or we could stay here and spare Hogwarts the sight of us limping around in bathrobes." Not to mention the inevitable scared little sounds he was bound to make if they ran into Snape. Still, there was something about Al that made him adventurous. Gus made a mental image that it was the smart thing to stay away. She was trouble.
He knew, however, that he probably wasn't going to do the smart thing for once.
"About bloody time. I was worried I was going to have to go all by myself," she said, the grin on her face becoming more honest and less teasing. This was quickly turning into one of her better hospital visits. They'd probably get caught but she could handle a detention. It would be interesting to see Augustus in detention, after he got done complaining Alicia would bet he'd be a lot of fun in there. "I would kill for some biscuits. I wonder if there are enough scraps around to make a sandwich..."
"You'd be right about that, especially now that you mentioned it," she said, sticking out her tongue playfully as her hand unknowingly touched the side of her injured leg. "Invisible. Casts. Where have you been all my life? I might even share my loot with you, considering I'm awesome at Transfiguration and all." In one hour she had turned this nice boy into a hoodlum. She was so proud.
"OI! No backsies.Look, think of it this way. You know what's going to happen if you stay here. You're going to be hungry and bored. You don't know what treasure awaits for us if we go to the kitchen. The way I see it, there's really only one option. You only live once, Caesar." Now that her inspiring speech was over she jumped off the bed, half wincing-half moaning as she remembered she was here for an injury. Augustus would soon learn she had a way of making wounds worse. She went over to her bed, just as soon acting like nothing had happened, and grabbed her wand. After a moment of thinking she waved it in front of her.
"What do you theeenk, am I Frog enough?" It wasn't the best transformation, it might only pass as decent but in a hurry and at night it should do the trick. "Now, lets turn you into a Bulgarian. Hungarian? Where is that school from? I keep asking but the accents make me start picturing cavemen."
"No, if I stay here, I'm not getting caught by Snape who will then not proceed to roast me slowly and painfully over his cauldron until I turn into a shrunken head he can scare impressionable First years with." Gus clarified, finding it impossible not to smile in the face of Al's enthusiasm. "On the other hand, I could die of boredom."
"It's a good thing, you're good at Transfiguration, because I suck at it and – hey! Careful with your leg!" Worried, Gus jumped off the bed as well and, in full mother hen mode, made a move toward her. Wrong thing to do. A bit of false pressure on the leg and the thing hurt again. He pressed his lips together to suppress a moan and managed a very pained-looking grin. "Ouch," he admitted but still couldn't keep the grin off his face. Al hadn't promised too much. He didn't plan on letting anyone close enough to identify them, so her transfigured cloak would work wonderfully. And the adrenaline was surely to keep them from feeling any pain.
"Mademoiselle, you look fantastique. Now sit down, so I can play doctor." Gus grinned and, oblivious of the fact that he looked slightly mad and remained clad in only his silly pyjamas, crouched down in front of her Al's legs. This really shouldn't be all that different from what he'd seen his mum do. Granted, she'd done it to make the flowers grow straight without keeping any sunshine from them, but the principle had to be the same. Theoretically.
Gus swished and flicked and Al's leg was encased in an opaque layer that quickly turned invisible. Gus beamed proudly and looked up at her. "Now please tell me I didn't put the cast on the wrong leg, Cleopatra."
"You think he'd cook you? I always figured him for a tear into you kind of guy. He has a lot of rage building up and it's only a matter of time until he starts wailing on someone. I better not miss it. I'd give your imagination an O though, well thought out." Alicia was a firm believer in the reality of death by boredom. She feared her demise in nearly every class she went to.
"Oi! Careful with your leg. Amateurs. You going to live?" Gus might not like the pain or hope to ignore it but to Al it was an odd sort of comfort. Pain meant you were alive. Her mum was always numbing herself up but Alicia wasn't afraid to feel. Not that Alicia was willing to look into her reasoning. As far as she was concerned it meant she wasn't a wimp and nothing more.
Alicia couldn't help but grin at his comment. Augustus would be fun to corrupt and she was going to make sure she was given the chance. Alicia couldn't help but let out a sharp laugh. Cleopatra? Her? She was no great beauty but it was cool that he figured her cool enough for a badass leader. "Lucky guess. Now it's my turn to play." She waved her wand quickly, pausing to look at her work. "Make sure you walk with a sway, they all sway. Right. I think you're ready!"
Gus looked at his leg, then carefully put some weight on it. No pain which was very nice. The bathrobe, too, now looked distinctly like the robes of their Bulgarian guests as long as you didn't look too closely. Ever so slowly a wide smile spread across his face.
"Let's go before I lose my nerve." Gus decided and took a few tentative steps toward the exit of the hospital wing. Walking didn't seem to be an issue, though he was sure to fall flat on his face if he as much as considered swaying. Growing with such as mad speed as he was, Gus had enough on his hands, trying to coordinate all his limbs in the first place. Swaying was out of the question. He turned to Al.
"Can you sway with this thing on your leg? I can't. Really." On the other hand, Al was apparently capable of sledding down moving staircases. Swaying shouldn't be a problem for her.
"Let's just go and...you know, not get caught." For a Ravenclaw the plan was pathetic. And yet, Gus found himself having fun. And getting an appetite for those cookies she had mentioned. Still shaking his head at the crazy things Alicia inspired him to do, Gus settled into the inevitable. He was well on his way of becoming a trouble-maker. And he enjoyed it, too.