InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "..."

Dr. John Smith (oneheartbeat) wrote in undertherainbow,
@ 2012-01-19 16:55:00

Entry tags:

rose tyler, rose tyler (s2), tenth doctor (human)

Rose Tyler; the one I'm not married to but has been rather avoiding me, not that I blame her of course but is planning to marry the previous me (which is brilliant, by the way) but that I'd really like to speak with, thanks.

Could I speak with you? About everything?

Silence is terrible, Rose Tyler. I never meant to hurt you, and clearly I did, even though I understand it wasn't actually this version of me, but I have his face, don't I? I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.

I'll never bother you again, I promise you that. But I needed you to know.

Rose Tyler; the one who is theoretically now Rose Smith, did you take my name? I can't recall honestly.

So I got to thinking, actually.

Children? I think we should make a few. Rather would like that.

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withyouforever
2012-01-20 02:06 am UTC (link)

Sorry, I.. I don't know what to say. I don't even know what to call you. I just..

I don't know how to think of you if it's not 'mine'. And you're not. I'm not jealous of her, really that's not what this is about. Just as soon as you disappeared, I knew you were off to save other worlds and meet other people and you weren't mine. You always kept me at arm's length, and I know why. I know leaving had to kill you, because I know it killed me.

I used to think you were the most amazing cluster of atoms the universe had ever put together, but I... I don't, now. And I don't know what to make of that. It's one thing to be left behind by a god, it's another to be left behind by a sad little boy.

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oneheartbeat
2012-01-20 02:10 am UTC (link)

Right. A lot in that.

Leaving you did kill me, in a lot of ways. Spent ages trying to find a way to fix it. Granted, wasn't technically in this body at the time, but I was there, so to speak. Timey-wimey. Anyway, my point is it was terrible, but I knew it was final. I didn't know what to do. Then events caught me up, and you came back. It was different, and you had to become so much stronger to make it.

You had been hardened, and it was my fault. Then the split happened, and my different Rose and I had to carve out our own life. It's not the way I think either of us would have picked, but the end worked out, didn't it?

We're both living our lives for each other. In our own ways, don't we get forever?

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	withyouforever 2012-01-20 05:08 am UTC (link)
	I didn't, though. I wasn't. I'm not hard or different.. I was absolutely broken when I got here. It doesn't matter, though. So you're here, and you're sorry, but it isn't anything you did, it's what you didn't do. And it doesn't matter. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	oneheartbeat 2012-01-20 05:10 am UTC (link)
	This will be life here, then? Pretending the other doesn't exist? If that's what you want, I understand. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	withyouforever 2012-01-20 05:13 am UTC (link)
	I don't know how to do this! (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	oneheartbeat 2012-01-20 05:14 am UTC (link)
	Neither do I. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	withyouforever 2012-01-20 04:33 pm UTC (link)
	You want to be friends now, then? I.. I want to love you and hate you, and I can't do either. I can't do moderation when it comes to you. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	oneheartbeat 2012-01-21 12:33 am UTC (link)
	Friends would be better than this, I would think. You're still Rose, I'm still me. Just from different points. I can't fathom going on like this. It just doesn't work. You have me and I have you, but I don't think me and you being friends would be so wrong, would it? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	withyouforever 2012-01-21 01:09 am UTC (link)
	I don't know. I need time. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	oneheartbeat 2012-01-21 01:10 am UTC (link)
	Got that, I should think. All the time in the world. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	withyouforever 2012-01-21 02:42 am UTC (link)
	Guess so, yeah. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	byanyotherword 2012-01-20 03:25 pm UTC (link)
	I did take your name, actually. I like Rose Smith. Though I guess I could also be Rose Tyler-Smith. Though don't you think Sarah Jane would laugh at me being a Smith now? Children. Right. Yes. I'd like that too. How many is a few? (Reply to this) (Thread)

oneheartbeat
2012-01-21 01:11 am UTC (link)

Up to you, love. Don't mind either, and since you're the one with the name it really seems like something you should pick. And Sarah Jane would think it was wonderful, don't you think otherwise for a second. She would laugh though. No doubt about that.

Oh, less than a lot and more than one? Hard to say. Definitely think we should start a concentrated effort though, don't you?

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	byanyotherword 2012-01-21 03:44 am UTC (link)
	Wish she were here. Oh yes. definitely should make a concentrated effort. (Reply to this) (Parent)