I don't believe you deserve to die either, if I can be blunt.
I need a friend and mentor, but I can have neither without trust. I will tell you something that you may even share with that incubus - I trusted you above everyone, Raziel. I don't trust Ikuko with some of the things I have told you. I can give no more.
I acknowledge your feelings of guilt, but I wonder how long it will be before they evaporate, before he convinces you again that it was all justified and I'll wind up savaged again. I'm so very tired, and my patience wanes.