I understand that. I know I don't deserve your trust. I believe you deserve the truth, so I will give it to you.
Ariel, if you must be in my presence as I say all this again, so that you may see that I am telling the truth, that I mean every word of what I'm saying with every part of my being, then I will be there at your word. I know you can sense a lie.
I would do anything to show you that I wish to repent and atone. You are the one soul I would regret to lose as a friend. My past madness cannot be excused, but Ariel... I swear upon my eternal soul that I would never do anything to even make you consider distrusting me any more than you already do.
I do not ask forgiveness, I only ask that you acknowledge the weight of this guilt I feel in being the reason all the pain you've ever felt in those years even came into being. I cannot sleep without that decade tearing into my dreams and reminding me that there is nothing angelic about my actions against you. In my waking hours, memories of those years come to me and I wish only to turn back the clock to undo all that I have done.
Ariel, if there is one reason I refuse to die, it is because I do not believe I deserve the peace. And I guarantee you that it is because of those things I have done to you that lay heaviest on my shoulders.