Know what's awesome? Candy. Candy is fucking awesome.
I know you're probably leery of cake, but I'd try it out, just to see it isn't ALL deadly, poisonous, and made with sediment.
Oh, shit, my manners. I'm Teja. Teja Wartooth. I hear there's two of me around though, and the other one is a someone you shouldn't probably talk to since he went a little um. Demonic. So yeah, if you see someone who looks vaguely like me only bigger and spikier and probably feeding on the innards of innocents or something, it's probably a good idea to NOT talk to him.