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April Foster ([info]faerietalegirl) wrote in [info]undertherainbow,
@ 2010-08-06 21:32:00

Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Entry tags:april foster, mephisto, oliver graham

"When the devil himself holds your heart's desire, sometimes you dance with the devil."

I wish I could go back to being eighteen. All I had was a backpack with some clothes and notebooks, and $200 I stole from my dad's wallet, but...

It was easier. I knew what I wanted. I wasn't...



Sometimes I think it would've been better if I hadn't turned up in Milliways... after.


(Post a new comment)


[info]feedsmycontempt
2010-08-07 06:19 am UTC (link)
You're just as free now to do what you want as you were then.

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]faerietalegirl
2010-08-07 08:22 am UTC (link)
I know. The problem is I don't really know what I want, anymore. Or, when I do know what I want, it's impossible and ridiculous things like... wanting to be 18 again.

And even then, I don't really want it so much as I want to be... less fucked up than I am now.



...I'm having a bad day. Might be best to ignore me until the mood passes.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]feedsmycontempt
2010-08-07 08:36 am UTC (link)
Believe me, we all have bad days.

While it's physically impossible to turn back the hands of the clock, you can stop regretting your age and simply love the day for what it is. You have so few of them, but you know that.

What can I do to help?

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]faerietalegirl
2010-08-07 08:47 am UTC (link)
I'm lucky to have any days left. I try to remember that when I get all... maudlin. It doesn't always work.

I don't know, I just... I miss the people I've lost. I miss not being terrified that I'm going to fuck myself up again. I don't know if there's really anything to do to help, as much as I appreciate the offer.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]feedsmycontempt
2010-08-07 08:59 am UTC (link)
Fear is what killed you in the first place, April. Don't give in. You certainly don't want to be a part of my orchard.

I know how it feels to miss someone dear to me. It stings and is ever present. But you can not let your mind dwell on the ennui that ensues.

If you will allow yourself, perhaps an ear to listen is in order. I have things to do, but they can wait. Your sadness won't.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Meph
[info]faerietalegirl
2010-08-07 06:26 pm UTC (link)
I... thank you.

You really don't have to if you're busy. I've weathered worse days before with less sympathy and encouragement than I've already gotten.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

April
[info]feedsmycontempt
2010-08-07 06:46 pm UTC (link)
It would be my pleasure, April. There is nothing more important than finding solace in the company of others.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Meph
[info]faerietalegirl
2010-08-07 06:56 pm UTC (link)
That means a lot to me. I could definitely use some company. To be perfectly honest, I'm not entirely sure I trust myself alone. Not anything, y'know... final, but... stupid, nonetheless.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

April
[info]feedsmycontempt
2010-08-07 06:58 pm UTC (link)
I will be over presently. Resist the urge. There is nothing more foul than the siren song of drugs that dull and dumb down the mind.

... Odd, coming from me, I know, but I've never liked them. It always seems like such a waste.

Call me to you, and I will be there.

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]everunexpected
2010-08-07 04:45 pm UTC (link)
Turning up there gave you another chance. Just like this world did, I guess.

Life isn't easy. We don't always know what we want. We can figure these things out, though... just takes a little time and patience, sometimes a little help.

I'll be around if you need me, April. I've got my uses.

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]faerietalegirl
2010-08-07 06:20 pm UTC (link)
Yeah. I'm... kind of afraid, I think. Last time I really just sat down and did what I wanted... well.

Thanks, sweetheart. I'll definitely keep that in mind.

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]hausmouse
2010-08-07 05:18 pm UTC (link)
There's only us
there's only this.
Forget regret
or life if yours to miss.
No other road, no other way,
no day but today.

Remember, sis?

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]faerietalegirl
2010-08-07 06:08 pm UTC (link)
Yeah, baby brother. I do. Hard to believe sometimes is all.

Love you.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

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