Hello, beautiful people of this fair community! It is I, Shigure Sohma! The Anonymous Author has once again sent me stories to share with you all! Enjoy!
Welcome to the Lovemobile
The bat signal shone in the night sky. Some terrible villain was on the loose, trying to destroy the city. Again. And since Superman was busy in a poker game with the X-Men, this was a job for Batman.
Batman rushed to the Batmobile and jumped in.
"To the crime scene, I assume?" asked an emotionless voice. "That would make our destination the corner of Houston and Broadway."
Batman turned his head suddenly, his newest batsuit enabling him to do such. The Batmobile didn't usually talk! There was an attractive man that looked strangely familiar sitting next to him in the passenger seat.
"Who are you?" Batman asked in his signature gruff voice.
"I am Knight Industries Three-Thousand, but you can call me KITT. I'm here to assist you in your nightly endeavors."
Batman rose an eyebrow, then noticed something out of the corner of his eye. He looked up in the sky and saw something strange. The batsignal had changed into a glowing red heart.
"It seems a change of activity is in order," KITT said, his usually monotone voice becoming softer, more.. seductive.
"I think you may be right," Batman said, unzipping his batsuit. That signal meant it was time for some Batlove.
A Man with Infinite Patients
Robert Chase was on clinic duty. The waiting area was full, but oddly enough, the nurse had only handed him one chart. Had the guy brought along a ton of family, or what? When he walked into the patient area, he realized they all looked the exact same, and had the mental image of a family reunion with all the doubles of his boss, House. But that was for another story!
"Um.. Jamie Madrox?" Chase read from the chart.
All ten very attractive men turned their heads. "Yeah?"
"Well, this should be interesting," he said in his Australian-British accent, his tone gruff. He led the way to the biggest exam room the hospital had. Once the door had closed, Chase turned to the men. "Now, I'm going to have to ask you to remove your pants. For science. You know. Medical reasons."
The Jamies did so. One of them seemed especially eager. Chase started to unzip his pants as well. "Science," he explained.
The Jamies nodded, and pulled off their shirts as well. To help the process. "Anything else you need us to do, doctor?" one of them asked, licking his lips. Two of the Jamies in the back of the room had already started groping each other.
"Well, I see here that kinetic impact causes more duplicates to produce?" Chase said, eyeing one of the dupes lustfully as he drew closer. Chase had a little reflex hammer in his hand. "We'll have to check your reflexes. Make sure everything is in working order."
"Kinky," replied a dupe. "Ten of us not enough for you?" He grinned.
"Oh, I can assure you that everything is in working order," replied another dupe with a sly smile. "But we can prove it to you, if you like."
And Chase found out why they called Jamie Madrox the Multiple Man.
Redheads in Disguise
Sam Witwicky was in his bedroom "playing with robots". There was a knock on his door, and the locked doorknob wiggled.
"Sam? Are you masturbating in there?" came a female voice from the other side of the door. Sam was so distracted by his "robots" that he didn't even realize that the voice didn't sound like his mother.
"No!" he answered quickly, covering the "robots" up with his jeans.
"Why not?" Jean Grey asked, unlocking the door with her fancy Phoenix powers of fire and universes and things.
Sam blinked up at the gorgeous redhead. "I.. Well.."
Jean walked in and closed the door behind her, letting her Phoenix powers incinerate her clothes off and the fabric dust fell around her ankles. Sam just gawked. "Get ready, Sam," Jean said, stepping closer. "I'm more than meets the eye."
As always, feel free to leave feedback. I will pass it along to the Anonymous Author!