God
It is because I learned about you long before the faith became corrupt and deluded. And better you than the one that was in the papal office where I'm from -- That man looked like a bad guy out of those cheesy sci-fi movies with the walking carpet and Harrison Ford.
And I have no desire to be in any sort of relationship, romantic or otherwise, but something tells me that turning you down would be something I'd regret for ages to come. You know where to find me.