So... I will be a mother again. A mother of two, now.
My beautiful Sable, my first daughter, you will always be my greatest joy and deepest pride. My shining girl, now 20 years and married, my child within sight of your own children -- you have given me more joy in your short life than words can express.
But your father is right. For you, I stole something from him that is indescribably precious, and irreplaceable. You may not believe it of me, little girl, but I was selfish, and I was not wise. I was cruel.
For that cruelty, I have determined to provide the only retribution that can even partly heal a mistake so grave -- to provide joy, to restore hope and opportunity where it was stolen before.
Sable, my beautiful daughter, we have become travellers in time as we once were of the world. I cannot tell you what this child will be, though as once I "knew" your gender mere days after your conception, I now "know" this child will be a boy. It seems unfair, in this world where so many lives are echoed and redrawn, that I will not be able to re-birth you and give you the opportunity to grow up with your now-infant cousin and husband and soon little Henn, as I rightfully should have done so many years ago, in another world.
It seems for now that there will be no other you to be with them as you are now -- lover, almost-sister, and friend. Your husband who is now a newborn will not grow up to love and wed you again. You will not be able to witness yourself share the childhood you hear your husband and cousin and life-mate Henn describe to you -- the life I could have and SHOULD have given you, but did not. Your little sibling will, though, and I pray that you do not resent him for it. Remember what I have taught you, my beloved Sable: your life is your own. Live it now, and embrace what love you have without regrets, for the past is a thing without promise, and without love. Take joy now. Take life, take family, live with passion, love the same, be always open to embraces, always watchful of deception, always trustful and cautious...
Sable, you make me proud. You have grown to be a woman of remarkable promise and achievements. I know that I have robbed you of things you should have had, and I can give you no explanation for it. I have held you to expectations far beyond what any child should ever have to live up to. But for all that, I will still ask more of you:
Love this coming child, Sable. Love your father, and try to see past his vices and find there what I see in him: he is truly wise, and intelligent, and strong, and a beautiful, beautiful soul. Know that I have made choices in my life that have reflected in hardship on you, and I can only say that I am sorry and I love you.
Be strong and brave, my daughter. Hold fast to the love you have, if it is good to you, and let go of the love that is not. I would be lying if I said that I will always be with you, or that you will always be able to find me; but I speak truth when I say that you are always in my heart and prayers, and that even if it takes a long time to find me, I will always be your home, little Sable. Even when you have made your own.