But it definitely wasn't surfing the internet for porn in my underwear.
And my apartment has never been quite so coated with food wrappers. Also, I would definitely never have a cat, especially one this fat and obstinate.
But the computer says 'post here!' so I'm posting, because obviously I'm in Wonderland, and I'll wake up any minute with my head in Valerie's lap, trying to figure out how I fell asleep.