InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "no apologies, no regrets"

Sha Gojyo (pervykappa) wrote in undertherainbow,
@ 2009-01-28 21:10:00

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sha gojyo

I know you probably have a lot of your own... stuff right now, and I don't want to add any problems, but can we talk?

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	Jyo-jyo musthavecoffee 2009-01-28 09:56 pm UTC (link)
	Of course. My stuff is pretty much taken care of. What's up? (Reply to this) (Thread)

	Lorelai pervykappa 2009-01-28 10:02 pm UTC (link)
	What do you do when you know your bad for someone, but they won't leave you and you don't want to leave them, cause it's not like they've done anything wrong? I mean, I love Henry, but I think I'm only hurting him by staying with him. But leaving would hurt him. And I don't want to be alone again. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Gojyo

musthavecoffee
2009-01-29 06:26 am UTC (link)

You suck it up and stay.

Last week I was a teenager. And I couldn't possibly imagine how I could ever raise a kid that could be any good. I was sure I'd mess her up. Sometimes it still blows my mind that Rory turned out so perfect when she had me as a mom.

People surprise you. And it doesn't just work one way. Henry can make you a better person. Love has a funny way of doing that. You shouldn't leave just because you have a hunch that you're bad for them.

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Lorelai

pervykappa
2009-01-29 07:15 am UTC (link)

Maybe Henry can make me a better person, but what can I do for him?

It's more than a hunch. I'm pretty damn sure I'm breaking him because I'm not getting better. He keeps trying and I just... I'm not working hard enough or something. And he feels like a failure because I'm not better. And I feel like a failure because... 'cause I'm still not over Hakkai. And I probably never will be. I think sometimes what the hell I would do if he came back. And I'm not over any of the shit I thought I was over. Sometimes it's hard for me to understand that someone's who's not as fucked up as me, who's not Hakkai, would want to stay with me. I want to get better. I want to not think things like that, but they always slip in. And it's not like I can just pretend I'm okay, cause he's fucking empathic.

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	Gojyo musthavecoffee 2009-01-29 06:17 pm UTC (link)
	I thought you asked me what to do. It sounds like you've already made up your mind. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Lorelai

pervykappa
2009-01-29 09:57 pm UTC (link)

I. I really haven't. Cause I'm selfish, and I love him and I don't want to be alone I don't want to leave him. But I feel everything about me in this relationship is selfish. Like I just keep taking and he just keeps giving, and shouldn't I be giving at some point? We're not equal. Is it bad for me to keep taking? Or should I just keep going, hope it evens out down the road?

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