Like he's blaming himself for going through the grieving process?
So I should think of myself as in a different timeline? I guess that makes sense, we are in an alternate reality. Oh, DiNozzo must be having a field day comparing everything to every Twilight Zone episode and science fiction movie he's ever seen.
I think it helps a little thinking of it that way. In that reality I died, in this one, I'm here. I'm me. That works a little better.