Well, I haven't known you very long, but if I had to guess I'd say no. You might like 300, actually. It's about 300 Spartans facing the might of the Persian armies. They knew their battle was hopeless, but they fought anyway. Very violent, based (loosely) on a real battle, and very epic.
Portkeys are these things that let you travel all over the place. They're set up in most major cities and a lot of other places, too. There's a map on the website that will help you out there, and it's actually worth suffering through all the sparkles to get to. Basically you think of the place you want to go, touch the portkey, and bam, you're there.