Even stoned, I'm utterly sick of Elijah friggin' Wood as a tap dancing penguin. I believe the cure for this is to smoke more, but there's only so many cigarette breaks one dad can have when little sister-in-law and darling-wife are at school and work.
Come rescue me! Let the boys look after the bean for a while. We can go out and stake our claim at a pub and not let up until they've run out of cheese sticks.