You weren't here, Nicholas. I thought that you would never GET HERE. Do you have ANY IDEA WHAT THAT DID TO ME? I took comfort where I could, once, and it was only prior to feeding. Playing with my food hardly counts, and he's ... gone. A man with his name is here, but it's not him.
And Johanna is a kindred spirit that I embraced. She's daughter in spirit. Her true father asked me to help.