Buffy Summers (scythe) wrote in uat_logs, @ 2014-04-23 01:42:00 |
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This was a conversation that Buffy didn't want to have. She had finally realized that Spike hadn't gone through all of the same things that she had gone through before arriving here. At first she had just thought that their difference in memories was from the trauma that they had both gone through and how they were trying to make sure they survived here. She thought maybe that he had suppressed the memories of what happened in that level of hell because what he had gone through was traumatic. She'd died twice. She knew how the mind would sometimes hide that from you until it thought you were ready to remember or someone told you. She didn't want to be the one that told Spike about his death -- but she didn't want him to find out by watching the damn TVs, either. Besides, the TV wouldn't be able to tell him how she refused to leave him until the last possible moment, or how she had cried once it was obvious that the others had managed to escape Sunnydale before it became a crater. It wouldn't be able to show him how much it hurt her and how she was sure that she wouldn't get through the next several days of grief. The TVs wouldn't show him how she felt like she was hollowed out when she arrived here and how damned happy she was to see him. So, she really was the only person that could tell him all of that and fill in the blanks -- even if she didn't want to be the one to tell him he had actually died saving her and the others. She made it up to her suite before Spike did, and retrieved a few bottles of booze to put on the table. She really wasn't that much of a drinker, but she had the feeling that she'd probably do so tonight. She pushed the coffee table away from the couch so that they could both sit on the floor and talk and drink. She wasn't even sure why she had done that since the couch was huge and more than big enough for the both of them, but she settled on the floor and waited for Spike to arrive. |