WHO: Ernie Macmillan WHEN: afternoon of Sunday, May 7 WHERE: Ernie's house SUMMARY: Ernie contemplates what has happened over the past week WARNINGS: Angst
Ernie was fine.
There were lots of reasons for people not to be fine right now, but he was fine.
His best friend had been released from Azkaban, so he needed to be thankful for that. He wasn't still missing like Kevin or dead like James - he was present and accounted for.
Yes, his girlfriend was comatose, but they hadn't been dating very long, he didn't really have the right to be too upset about that. Celia and Parvati and a whole list of people had more of a right to to be devastated.
Yes, Seamus was dead, but they'd only just become close this year - there were people who were hurting more, people who'd been close to him for longer, who hadn't taken years to figure out what a fun bloke he was.
Yes, Eloise was dead, but he'd been right awful to her this year. If he'd done a better job - actually continued with Head Boy responsibilities after the title was officially taken away instead of just whinging - he'd have listened to her and talked to her and figured out where she was coming from and maybe she'd still be alive.
Yes, Jo and Felix and Sophie and Mallory were dead, but other people were closer to them than he was. Their friends - their close friends had reasons to mourn and be upset, but most of Ernie's close friends had come through the other side, so he really didn't.
Yes he was still in pain and walking with a limp, but the Healers were confident he'd make a full recovery. It wasn't permanent damage like Susan or Padma. It wasn't even as bad as Sally or Neville. He'd been released from the hospital almost immediately, so he didn't really have the right to be upset about that.
He was fine. A little sad, of course, but nothing unreasonable. He had gotten off easy, so his role now was to support the people who'd fared worse than him. There wasn't time to be self-indulgent or throw himself a pity party, just to support others who had lost more than him. People who deserved to be upset and devastated and broken.