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James Potter (prongsie_07) wrote in trbledtimes_rp,
@ 2011-05-04 00:45:00

Current location:	Head Boy Dorm
Entry tags:	c: james potter, c: remus lupin, completed

James and Remus: Heart to Heart
[Who]: James Potter & Remus Lupin
[Where]: Head Boy Dorm Room
[When]: September 4th, 1977
[What]: James is worried about Remus, and convinces him to have a private chat with him after dinner

There was no reason for him to be so worried. But he was. James ran a hasty hand through his hair, once something he had done to 'be cool' became a nervous habit. He glanced over his shoulder at Remus, then quickly back as they head up the stairs to the dorm room. Once they reached the top, James whispered a password as he flicked his wand, and the door to his dorm room opened. "Come on in, Moony, make yourself at home." He stepped aside for Remus to walk in, and offered a smile.

Earlier that afternoon, James had asked Remus to join him up in his room for a private conversation. He couldn't help but notice something was distracting his friend. He was going to get to the bottom of this, even if it killed him. Which it might.

As a way to lighten the mood, James reached into his bag and pulled out a stash of Remus' favorite dark chocolate. "As promised." He presented the candy to him, smiling wider. Hopefully it would keep Moony in a good mood.

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loveschocolate
2011-05-04 05:17 am UTC (link)

Remus gave James a tight smile as he accepted the chocolate. It was dark, and Remus found himself grateful that James, at least, listened and remembered.

But the chocolate didn't do much to quell Remus' anxiety. For some reason, James needed to talk to him. And Remus couldn't stop remembering the last time James had said those words; it had been when they'd discovered he was a werewolf. He'd initiated the coming out... but Remus didn't have any other secrets. What if James suspected something of him?

Taking a deep breath and trying to slow his racing mind, Remus responded,

"Thanks, Prongs. Anyway, you wanted to talk?"

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prongsie_07
2011-05-04 05:37 am UTC (link)

James took a seat on his bed, gesturing to the space beside him for Remus to join him. "Well, yes. I do. It's a little difficult to... Bring this up. But only because I don't want to scare you, or freak you out." He looked down at his lap, picking at some crumb on his trousers.

For a few months now, James had had some suspicious about Remus. In their fifth year, Remus had come them and said he was gay. Of course, this changed nothing between the group. James didn't care which gender his friend preferred, as long as he was happy.

But his friend didn't seem very happy.

James' suspicions were centered around the fact that he believed Remus fancied Sirius. This wasn't that far out of this world, seeing as Sirius was bisexual. But considering how Remus was, he would never tell Sirius himself how he felt.

James jerked up after he realized he had been quite for quite some time. "Ah. Well. Heres the thing. Remember when you told us you were a werewolf?"

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loveschocolate
2011-05-04 05:42 am UTC (link)

"Ah. Well. Heres the thing. Remember when you told us you were a werewolf?

Upon hearing those words, Remus froze. No. Not this. It was finally happening. His friends were finally realising that he was a monster. He was sure of it. James was going to...

Slowly, Remus manoeuvred to sit on the bed, a bit further away than James had gestured at. He didn't look at James, but at the bag of chocolate that he was twisting in his hands. Finally, struggling to breathe, he nodded.

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	prongsie_07 2011-05-04 06:05 am UTC (link)
	"And the time you told us you were gay? Well, if I recall, those things didn't really matter to us. As in, we love Remus just the way he is." James peered at Remus, biting his lip. "I think there is something you want to say. Trust me when I tell you that, no part of this conversation leaves this room. So... Whats on your mind?" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

loveschocolate
2011-05-04 06:10 am UTC (link)

Remus stopped worrying the paper bag and lifts his head to look at his friend, completely taken aback. James wasn't recounting him. He was giving him a chance, an opportunity to let the growing beast in his chest out.

And yet, Remus was finding it difficult to voice the words. They seemed to catch in his throat.

"James," he forced out, "I kind of have a problem..."

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	prongsie_07 2011-05-04 06:23 am UTC (link)
	James felt a little of the tension relax in the room, and he allowed himself a more natural smile. "Well, what is it?" He put his hand on Remus' shoulder, as a soothing touch. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

loveschocolate
2011-05-04 06:34 am UTC (link)

Remus swallowed hard, trying to think about how he was going to phrase his words. And, it was mark of how worried he was and of how much he trusted James that the contact didn't make him flinch.

"You know how there was always something about Lily, even before you liked her? Something inexplicable? And, then, you realised that you liked her, like really liked her? You'd fallen hard, and there was nothing you could do about it. You tried to get over her, but you couldn't. No matter how she treated you, no matter how often she yelled at you or how many names she called you, you still wanted to be with her - still want to be with her. Because she's Lily Evans and you're James Potter, and in your mind, that's how it has to work?"

Remus paused, allowing his words to soak in. It wasn't often that he said so much, let on that he observed so much of his friends' activities. But he'd always been the quiet observer; it was one of the things that gave him his ability to create subtle yet effective pranks. And it was important that James understood that Remus understood. Because,really, their situations were becoming remarkably similar.

"See, Prongs. It's like that. It's stupid, and I've tried to change it. But I can't. Prongs, I can't get over him."

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prongsie_07
2011-05-04 08:28 pm UTC (link)

James was very quite as Remus spoke. (He could be a good listener when he wanted) He watched as so many emotions played over his friends' face. It was worse than he thought.

If Remus had fallen for, he assumed, Sirius as hard as James had for Lily, he was in deep. James could sympathize with Remus, and cautiously pulled him into a light embrace. Nothing smothering, and gave Remus the freedom to break away. But finally... Finally he understood his mate so much better. He reached into a bag on his nightstand and fished out a small chocolate piece. "Here, Moony." After a moment, James summoned the courage to ask, "Is this... Is it Sirius?"

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loveschocolate
2011-05-04 10:08 pm UTC (link)

James' hug hadn't been unwelcome. If anybody would understand, it'd be James. And saying it - cryptically as he had said it - had helped. As had the chocolate, of course.

But, upon James' words, Remus froze. Was he really that transparent? Or had James just become more observant? Had Peter realised? Or, Merlin forbid, at Sirius? No, Sirius couldn't know. There was no way. He was far to self absorbed and oblivious.

Letting his head fall into his hands, Remus whispered,

"Please don't say anything..."

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prongsie_07
2011-05-04 11:50 pm UTC (link)

Finally, James pulled Remus closer, sighing. So, I was right... He rubbed his friends' back a little.

Remus likes Sirius, but Sirius doesn't know this. And it would remain that way. "Remus, I've told you before, this won't leave this room." He tipped Remus' chin up. "I mean it. Anyway, Padfoot is being Padfoot. You're going to have to hold out until he comes around." James moved away, and looked around his room for a tea bag and a cup. "Ah, here we are." He made a quick cup of hot tea with a spell and handed it to Remus.

"I'm sorry that I stressed you out earlier. But... I had to know. Because you've been so... So helpful when it comes to me and Lily... I just want you to be able to come to me and talk if you need to." James sat back down next to Remus. "Just you and me. You can come and vent to me anytime, okay?" He offered another smile, looking hopeful.

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	loveschocolate 2011-05-05 12:42 am UTC (link)
	Remus took the cup of tea and held it to his chest, trying to calm his nerves with the heat from the mug. It was almost working. Almost. But, there was one more thing he had to know, had to make sure of. Because, well, he didn't want to tear his friends apart. "You're not... you know, freaked out by this, are you?" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	prongsie_07 2011-05-05 03:31 am UTC (link)
	James stared at Remus, mouth falling open a little. He tried, Merlin knows, he tried to hold back a laugh, but it was already bubbling out of him. It filled the quiet room, and he patted Remus' shoulder again, more firmly. "Really? Me? Freaked out by you smitten for my best mate? Not in the least!" He grinned at him. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	loveschocolate 2011-05-05 03:41 am UTC (link)
	"I suppose he is the best looking bloke at Hogwarts, or so he proclaims," Remus adds, chuckling a bit despite himself. "Is it worth waiting?" Remus asks, and he wants to kick himself for sounding like such a girl. "Do you think I'll ever have a chance, or should I just give up and live the life I seem to be fated. Alone and celibate." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

prongsie_07
2011-05-05 04:05 am UTC (link)

"He's full of it." James snickered, glad to see the mood lighten.

The Remus asked if it was worth waiting for...

"I waited six years for Lily, and I haven't given up. I think things are... Different between us, you know? So, I say yes. Give Sirius time to realize what he wants. Because I know he cares about you. He's just... He's going through some stuff, and all." James paused to think for a moment.

"Well, if he gives you problems, let me know, okay?"

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	loveschocolate 2011-05-05 04:09 am UTC (link)
	"Prongs, mate, Sirius always gives me problems." Remus shoved James gently and gave him a small smile. "These problems are just of a slightly different nature." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	prongsie_07 2011-05-05 06:03 am UTC (link)
	"You know what I mean, Moony." James shoved him back just as gently, smiling. "I mean, if he's really too dense to handle, I'm here. You can rant to me all you want." With an over-dramatic sigh, he fell back onto his beg. "Feel better?" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	loveschocolate 2011-05-06 12:34 am UTC (link)
	"I feel like a girl," Remus answered, breaking off some chocolate and stuffing it in his mouth. "But, yes. I do." (Reply to this) (Parent)